WEEK TWELVE: Bunch of Crap

FOOTBALL THOUGHTS

• I found myself doing something I never thought I would on Saturday. I was rooting for UF. It happened subtly at first. When they scored on one drive, I went, "Yes!" Then I looked around and asked, "Why am I cheering for them?" The big thing is that UF is just not as easy to hate as before. You know, aside from the eye gouging and that they let Eddie Gilley roam the sidelines. The biggest thing is that I really like Tim Tebow. I like him as a person. I like him as a player. I hope that the Jaguars get him. (Not that I would saddle him with those losers.) He's the kind of player you want your team to have so you can cheer for him without feeling like a sellout. I hate how the media is into this backlash now. "Tebow is overrated. He only won the Heisman because Dixon got hurt. He's a media darling. Vince Young was better." I will say this, I have watched a lot of college football since 1979 - when I first remember watching the NCAA. I have seen a LOT of great players. Herschel Walker, Charlie Ward, Barry Sanders, David Klingler. But I think Tebow is the greatest college player I have ever seen. He may not have the passing records of a BYU stat inflator. He may have had a great defense to bail him out. But he has TWO national championship - with a good chance for a THIRD, THREE top five Heisman finishes (I'm assuming he'll at least be fifth), and the respect of a lot of people who know what they are talking about. I know as Christians we have a problem making Christian athletes out to be better than they are. "Heath Evans is the most underrated fullback in the NFL. Trent Dilfer was a Hall of Fame quarterback." We confuse the person with the player (see the Bowden item later). But in this case, I think the quality of his personhood makes him a better football player. I just enjoy watching him play - and even more hearing him talk. And think about the number of times Hebrews 12:1-2 got quoted in the national media since Saturday.
• What is with this Vince Young renaissance? It's like some movie villain got killed at the end of the first film and then got re-animated to haunt the second film. Like Agent Smith in the Matrix Trilogy. He is back without his former limitations. My brain can't even begin to understand that this is the same guy who had a nervous breakdown last year. At the end of that Cardinals game he was like Blue Steel.
• You know that the BCS bigwigs were very nervous on Saturday for most of that Alabama/Auburn game. It was the worst case scenario coming to pass. If Alabama had lost, and then beaten Florida in the SEC title game, TCU would be in the BCS title game. Then if Texas had lost to Nebraska, it would be TCU vs. Cincy or Boise State. Also would have been known as the "Crappiest Title Game Ever." Ah, well. We can still hope Texas loses and TCU worms its way in there.
• Georgia had an absolutely horrible season. I have been embarrassed as a person with affection for that team. So, can one game make up for the season? No. Definitely not. But it still was fun to screw over Tech. Hahaha. And more proof that the SEC is basically the NFL's true developmental league.
• USF. Sigh. Here is something very disturbing I have noticed about the Bulls. They do amazing things in the first half of the year. They beat ranked team, upset perennial powerhouses, make all kinds of waves. But then they kind of stagger through the second half and end up in some lame-butt bowl like the St. Petersburg Bowl. It happens every year. Five straight bowl appearances is impressive. It would be more impressive if it was a Bowl not named after a city or a car part. And with the way FSU sucked this year, it kind of minimizes the USF victory. They need to focus on staying the course.
• Congrats to my Golden Knights. 8-4 is impressive for that team, especially when no one expected that this year. They have proven resilient, won some close games, beaten a ranked team. I hope they can build on this. And I hope they enjoy playing in their bowl game. Even though it is, sigh, the lame butt St. Petersburg Bowl. This is what happens when you play in Conference USA.
• I am personally thrilled about the attention concussions has gotten this year in the NFL. And the safety steps they are taking is great progress. There was some question as to if Big Ben and Kurt Warner should have been sat out - which shows how far we still have to go to change our mindset regarding football. I'm glad they sat. And when they can remember their kids' names (the ones they know about), they will be glad they sat too.
• Something needs to happen to the Jaguars. I know they aren't as bad as the Browns and Redskins. But they are slowly getting into dangerous territory. Two years ago, they were a couple of plays away from the Super Bowl. Now they barely beat the crappiest teams in the NFL and get whipped by anyone with a winning record. Their ticket sales are terrible. I hate to see them go, but that's a franchise that would probably benefit from a Ravens-style reboot. Move them to London and let them start over. The London Jaguars. Or the San Antonio Chupacabras. Just not L.A.
• Small B-ball note: I finally finished Bill Simmons' Book of Basketball this weekend. I consider that a huge accomplishment. 702 pages. I feel like my knowledge of basketball has probably doubled since I started the book. Seriously. And, honestly, I think I enjoy the game more now. (Doesn't hurt that the Magic are doing well.) I wish it was feasible to do a football book like that, but there is no way. It would be 4000 pages.
• Do you remember a worse slate of Thanksgiving games? I knew going in they would be ugly. I just hoped the night game would be the saving grace. No such luck.
• I had an idea to help Notre Dame. They need something to bring them some attention. Since they refuse to play in a conference, and since they get special rules and treatment from the NCAA, we could pull this off. What about each year they switch to a different conference, just for football and just for one year? Tell me that wouldn't be fun. The first year, they can do the Big Ten, since that is basically what they are anyway. Then they can switch to the Big East, which is their basketball conference. Then the Pac 10, since they play them a lot. Then it gets fun - ACC, C-USA, SEC, , WAC, BIG 12, Mountain West. Every other year they could rule the roost and get a sweet BCS invite by rocking the Boise States and BYU's and UCF's of the world. Then they would have one year where they just get their arses handed to them - go like 2-10 against the SEC. They could keep their out of conference games against the military schools, to give them some easy games. But that would be a true independent. They would have to learn to recruit to play any style. Within a few years, they could become this monster team that could beat anyone. Or they would be miserable manhandled on a yearly basis. Either way would be fun to watch.
• I've been pretty vocal in my desire to see Bowden retire. And now that he did, it isn't as much of a happy feeling as I hoped it would be. Part of it is that once you strip away Incompetent Team Killing Bobby, you are left with Nice Old Man Bobby. That and all the pundits who were clamoring for his head last week now are chastising those who pushed out the Old Man. The truth of the matter that cannot be denied is that the person most responsible for how this ended for Bobby Bowden is Bobby Bowden. In 2002 he made an agreement with the school that he would leave before he lost his ability to coach. He has had eight seasons to do that. And he has insisted that "last year was just a glitch" and come back. He could have left like Vince Dooley at UGA and become Athletic Director. He could have dropped down to an assistant to Jimbo Fisher. He could have done something to admit he was not the same. But he didn't. Now he is like Tom Landry, a nice old man tossed out on the street after he built the building. I feel bad for him. But this could have been avoided.
• The other thing I truly believe that hurt FSU was the decision by FSU and UM to switch their game to opening weekend. Both teams got tired of watching their title hopes go down in flames in October. They realized losing early to a quality team allows you time to recover and weasel into the BCS by the end. This decision was made in 2004. Since then, neither team has been a player in the title chase. Neither team has won a conference championship - except for FSU that year with a lame 8-5 record. Instead of having this mid-season war to show the players that every game mattered, it showed them that it is easier to just try to get around the system.
• The last thing has to do with the New Orleans Saints. Way back in week 2, I said I thought the Saints were a team to watch out for. I wasn't alone. Gregg Easterbrook predicted a Saints/Colts Super Bowl before the season started. But a lot of sports people were seduced by other teams like the Giants and Cowboys and Falcons in the NFC and the Broncos and Jets in the AFC. Now the Saints are 11-0. If you had looked at their schedule early in the season, it would have been apparent their toughest opponents were going to be Philly, the Jets, the Giants, the Patriots, the Dolphins, and maybe the Falcons. They beat those teams by a combined score of 191 to 137. They have outscored their opponents 407-221. And their remaining games are against Washington, Atlanta, Dallas, the Bucs, and Carolina. Those five teams have a combined record of 22-33. Their only real test left is at home against the Cowboys. And, with the Vikings sporting a one loss record, the Saints can't take their foot off the gas like the Colts will. I like the Saints - they seem to enjoy playing. And you have to take into account the way that city gets behind them. The crowd was insane on Monday night. I still don't think anyone can go 16-0 this year, but it will be fun watching them try.

SFL WEEK 12 RECAP

• Bloodthirsty Ferrets has a major Achilles Heel. That would be their receivers. They are absolutely ridiculous. When Ted Ginn Jr. is your most consistent receiver, you have big trouble. They have a bunch of second and third option receivers playing. Not good. But it did help Monkey snap his losing streak.
• Absolutely brilliant pickup by the Tally Noles, in case you didn't notice. His biggest weakness for a long run through the playoffs was Peyton Manning. He'll get you there. But then he'll kill you once you are there. Instead of relying on Kyle Orton, he snagged Vince Young. And since the Titans could be fighting for the playoffs, it could be a big help for the Noles if they make the playoffs. Unfortunately, it was the only good move of the week for Tally as they got spanked by Formerly Known as Human Bye Week.
• Aside from the Stickboy vs Ugly Consequences match, the lower ranked team won each game. Weird. Lots of people were caught looking ahead, I guess.
• Talk about a great week for Gator Greats. By taking down the reeling Bad Counsel, Gators launched themselves into the 4th playoff spot. In two weeks they went from 7th to 4th. They had an enormous score. The big catch is what is going to happen with Matt Ryan, although they won without him this week. Bad Counsel is in trouble. They have fallen out of the playoffs and will have to hope for some help to get back in.
• Tampa Bay Rams helped to drag Da Bus further into the depths of the SFL. Now Busdriver is only a game out of the cellar. Rams still controls their own destiny to finish last, but at least there is going to be a challenge.
• Stickboy trailed the whole game against Ugly Consequences (AKA team that is good enough to be in 1st yet somehow ends up losing games they should win). Two weeks ago, Ugly found themselves in the same boat against Ferrets. And there was the same consequence this week. Even though the Pats played like Patsies, Maroney generated just enough to pull out the win for Stickdude.

SFL WEEK 13 PREVIEW

• There are some big games this weekend. Stickboy squares off the red hot Gator Greats. Sticky Boy basically has a two game lead on Ferrets, due to their 200 point difference. Gators needs to keep winning - with big scores - to secure a spot in the postseason.
• The Tally residents square off this week. Tally Noles is now in the 5th spot and in a horribly tough battle for the playoffs. Ferrets has lost two in a row and apparently is employing men without hands as receivers. Both teams need wins in the worst way.
• Monkey and BadCounsel are both trying to keep their small playoff hopes alive. The loser of this game can pretty much be assured of staying home for the holidays. 7th place with just one game left won't cut it.
• Steelas and Da Bus are battling for the cellar in waiting position. The loser will probably end up 9th - or maybe 10th with a little luck.
• Ugly Consequences and Tampa Bay Rams have very little in common. Ugly wants to stay in the 3rd spot so he can feast on Ferrets' sucky receiving corps for the playoffs. Rams are trying to stay in last so they can draft Colt McCoy next year.
• Just two weeks left before the playoffs! Can you feel the excitement? I can. Oh, wait, that was the taco talking back.