That was how the collective male population of the United States felt this past week. "IT'S SO FOOTBALL!!!!" I actually found myself watching numerous games. This was probably due to the fact we were at my in-laws' house with Heather's brother's family. The kids have other things to do there, so I can actually watch sports without having to switch to Wow Wow Wubbzy whenever a game gets exciting. Heather's brother was drinking it all in, too. My in-laws have a huge high def screen down in the living room, which is awesome for watching sports. So we just kept flipping between all the big college games on Saturday. Of course, Andy and my father in law ditched us to go to the Jags game. But they almost got killed by lightning. Serves them right. Andy also said that he had been loving watching the stuff all week. I said, "Because of the big screen?" He said, "That too. We don't have ESPN, so I don't get to watch football a whole lot." I swear I stared at him like he had just told me he actually was a lizard under his skin. "Who doesn't have ESPN?" I forget frequently that it is not a network. I also thought about how he is a better person than me because I wouldn't get rid of cable unless it was the last step between me living in a house or a box. So, once I got home, I flipped on my much smaller cable infused HD TV and watched some more of the games - including some of the Cowboys and Indians game. And then I actually watched almost the whole Jets/Ravens game on Monday - on cable. Let's take a quick look at some of what happened on this glorious first football weekend.
COLLEGE QUICK HITS:
- There were several groups that had a bad day on Saturday. Let's take a look at a few. First, the state of Florida. We have a certain swagger in the Sunshine State. A couple of weeks back, I mentioned how spoiled we were - always expecting a national title. Days like Saturday are good reminders that the state is far from invincible. FSU got beheaded by Oklahoma. Miami was manhandled by Ohio State. USF left Gainesville realizing they were not on par with the big guys. UCF shot themselves in the collective foot about twenty times - including George O'Leary refusing to put in the obviously better quarterback until it was too late. FIU lost. FAU lost. The only two Florida teams that won was UF and FAMU. Bad day.
- Bad day for the ACC. There were rumblings after Week One, when the ACC wrecked havoc in the cupcake store, but lost to all the quality teams. Week Two was even worse. Miami, FSU, Georgia Tech, and Virginia lost to big conference teams. And, just for fun, Virginia Tech lost to a crappy team. These are the teams ACC teams have beaten thus far: FAMU, Samford, Presbyterian (twice), South Carolina State, Weber State, North Texas, West Carolina, Richmond, Elon, and Kent State. The only teams with any remote level of quality the ACC has beaten was UCF and Navy - dubious to say the least. Oh, yeah, Wake Forest barely beat Duke. They've lost to LSU, Ohio State, Oklahoma, Kansas, Boise State, USC, and the powerhouse James Madison. Bad start, ACC.
- Bad day for Boise State. Every college football expert has already mentioned this. I don't think Virginia Tech losing to Midvalle School for the Blind SHOULD hurt Boise State, but I think it WILL hurt them. It is obvious that VaTech's season is a bust. And losing to Boise really got into their head. It is hard to know your season is doomed the second it starts - especially when you are hyped. They were not ready and got picked off. I think voters are looking for any reason to shaft Boise State, and this is just the ammo they need.
- If you were a college coach and you had two quarterbacks. Both of them are decent enough cubes. One of them is older and more experienced. But he is a little sketchy in his play. He's made some dumb mistakes. Very importantly, the fans don't like him. In fact, they boo him. Then you have another guy - a freshman. He's crazy good, but inexperienced. He has nutso athletic skill. The fans absolutely go crazy for this kid - and he thrives on it. Let's say the first guy struggles so badly that you have to pull him. The second guy comes in and immediately registers two touchdowns against a big conference team's defense that - to that point - had completely shuttered your offense. What would you do? How long would it take you to make the call on who would start? Me? I would have looked at the older guy on the sidelines during the second TD drive and said, "Get used to that clipboard, son." But, that is why I run a fantasy football league and George O'Leary coaches a team with fantasies of being important. He gets paid to (not) make the big decisions.
- I'm getting to the point where I am sick of the NCAA. They suspend a UGA player for selling an old jersey. But they take FIVE YEARS to hit USC with sanctions from the Reggie Bush era. Seriously? You didn't know this guy was on the take then? I mean, it took that long to put the pieces together? I'm at the point now with USC where, if a big name guy signs there, I just wonder how many zeroes were on his check. OJ Mayo, Reggie Bush. And with Lane Kiffin there now, it is like the perfect storm of cheating. I wouldn't be surprised at some point if they actually field a semi-pro team. Just stop pretending. Go for broke. Lane can write it off as "I didn't realize it was an infraction."
NFL QUICK HITS:
- I will always admit when I'm wrong. Both times it has happened, I quickly published a retraction. Last week I cracked on the Jaguars inability to sell tickets. I was wrong. Jacksonville is NOT one of the twelve NFL teams doomed to blackouts all year. Tampa is, but Jacksonville is not. They sold out the Broncos game and, as of last week, were only a small number of tickets away from being on tv all year. Pretty amazing, actually, that they have pulled it off.
- Remember back when the Oakland Raiders were this bad-butt team. They got a lot of penalties, ran their mouths a lot, signed questionable characters. When some nutjob signed with the Raiders, people would just nod their head and say, "Figures." The 2010 New York Jets are the reincarnation of those Raiders teams. The big difference? The Jets haven't won anything to justify that swagger/stupidity. There complete lack of control in penalties cost them that game. They should have won, no excuse. That's what happens when you have a bunch of undisciplined psychos on a team.
- I don't think any teams looked out of this world on Sunday. But there sure were some teams that looked pretty cruddy. And, surprisingly, several of them were supposed to be good. The Jets and Cowboys looked like they hadn't even had a preseason. Cleveland looks like they would lose to Virginia Tech. San Fran was ridiculous. And, honestly, Minnesota was not the same team that went to the conference title game last year. There was a lot of sub-par football this past weekend.
- Did you know that this past Sunday's Jaguars/Broncos game was the hottest home game ever for the Jags? It also got delayed due to lightning and storms. I was driving through those storms, and let me tell you - they were horrible.
- What did I tell you? There already had been a "big name player" that fell victim to the new NFL concussion rule. Kevin Kolb can't even practice until Friday - and it may cost him his job. Of course, do you really think Mike Vick can actually be the answer for the Iggles? Don't bet your dog's life on it.
SFL QUICK HITS:
- It's a new day in the SFL. Perennial league leaders are on the bottom of the heap. Teams with a history of dubious performances have risen to the top. What can we learn from this week? As David Crowder sang so eloquently, "Things will never be the same. They will never be the same. We will never be the same." Perhaps all this talk of league upheaval is premature. But, what kind of sports analyst would I be without panicky conclusions from one week of football.
- FERRETS vs CONSEQUENCES: Ferrets started this season the way they do every season - with a stupid loss. Seriously, they have lost the first game for like the last five years straight. They had solid performances from several players (Brady, Welker, Jets D), but they had no clue they were meeting the irresistible force known as . . . Arian FOSTER!!! Huh? There is one thing that Consequences does every single year. He finds that guy that is going to have a break out year and signs them. Last year, it was Miles Austin. This year, Foster. It seems like every time I go to find a player that came out of nowhere, he's on Consequences' roster.
- NOLES vs TWIGBOY: How the mouthy have fallen. Defending champion Twigboy did not follow in the Saints footsteps. And QC Noles did not follow in the FSU footsteps (off a cliff). Instead, Noles have shown they are ready to climb out of the cellar hole they have frequented for several years with a solid showing on Sunday - largely thanks to his receivers. Stickboy didn't play poorly, he just was not good enough. Uneasy is the head that wears the virtual crown.
- BUS vs GATORS: There was a period before Monday's games where Da Bus was quietly putting together the worst game the SFL had ever seen. I actually checked to make sure he hadn't started Kurt Warner and Tiki Barber. He had 32 points with just three players waiting on deck Monday night. Fortunately for him, those three had a good night - which pulled his numbers up. Unfortunately for him, it didn't matter as fellow G'Ville resident Gator Greats got off to his usual strong start. Thanks to Jay Cutler (wha??), Chris Johnson, and everyone's preseason MVP vote Austin Collie, Gator Greats put up the second highest score this week. (The third highest was Ferrets' loss - grrrrr.)
- TEBOW vs MEAN GREEN: Expansion franchise Mean Green looked more like the Carolina Panthers expansion than the Cleveland Browns 2.0 one. They won their first game ever! It wasn't a powerhouse performance, but a win is a win - especially in the cutthroat SFL. Tebow Tosser was the winner of two prestigious awards this week. First, he won the "Worst Performance" award - which is one of Gabe's diapers. He won it thanks to his second award - the first "OOOOoooo That looks like it hurt bad. CRAP! HE'S ON MY FANTASY TEAM" award of the year. Kevin Kolb, former starter for the Philly Iggles, was the cause of that piece of hardware. Tebow Tossers also had three players under two points. Why does the number two sound familiar? Oh yea, the number of plays and yards for Tim Tebow this week. Wait a minute. Two yards, two plays, two points. Tebow - - Tebow Tossers. Coincidence? Hmmmm.
- We would be remiss if we didn't proclaim loudly THE TAMPA BAY RAMS WON THE FIRST GAME OF THE SEASON. Seriously, I don't know if that has ever happened. But the Rams came out prepared with a game plan. The amazing thing is that TB Rams only had two players over 10 points in that game. The Saints D, with 11 points. And Peyton Manning with 38.65. Haven't we seen this game plan before? Ah, yes. That was the method for the Queen City Noles about four years ago - ride Manning like he was the only horse on the reservation. Lost in all of this was Monkey's lame performance. It just was not very Monkey like. It seems like this once proud franchise has not handled the move to Rocky Top so well.
- Well, we're underway. Let's have fun out there. Keep it clean. And try not to sexually harass any female reporters in the locker room.
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