Anywho, in the new NFL, any accusation of this sort will immediately be blown into a media circus and investigated. It will probably result in a four week recuperation program for Favre right before the playoffs, priming him for another Super Bowl run thanks to the time to heal. There are so many elements to this story, that it makes my head spin.
First, there is the pathological infatuation athletes have with their units. How many of these guys will have to have their johnsons broadcast all over the interwebs before they learn? Greg Oden, Chris Cooley, Santonio Holmes, Grady Sizemore. The list goes on and on. And apparently so do their genetic weaponry. I guess that if I looked like I housed Snuffleupagus in my boxer briefs I would be more willing to flaunt it. But I also believe in the whole "some things are best left to the imagination" mindset. I never have understood mankind's immediate desire to get naked in front of technology. "Oh, look a webcam. Let me take off my clothes in front of it." Athletes are usually bigger people in general, so it follows that their wangs would follow suit. But that is one stat I don't want to know. I'm good just knowing college, height, weight, game stats. I don't want their ESPN profile to broadcast the size of their sausage.
Second, the issue of Jenn Sterger. This is a woman whose entire career has been generated by her sexuality. She was just another student at FSU until some pervy camerman focused on her heaving bosoms and cowboy hat. And then Brett Musberger wiped the drool from his mouth and commented about red blooded males applying to FSU. BAM. So she showed up at games, created her own website, showed up at USF games (since she was from Tampa), started writing a blog on SI.com, posed half naked for FHM, posed nude for Playboy, got hired by the Jets as a game hostess, removed her implants, got hired by Versus network as eye candy for their sports show. All of it was because of her boobs. She would have just been another journalism student. I will admit she is a good writer and has a good knowledge of sports. But her breasts got her on the fast track. Now she has a national sports show - doesn't do anything on it, but is on it. So, what do we make of this? She has spent her life exploiting her sexuality, and now she has to go through this inappropriate advances by Favre and subsequent public embarrassment due to that sexuality. It really shows the double edged sword that is sexuality and media. You sell your body but don't realize your soul was sold in the deal.
Third, athletes are dirtbags. Big Ben was the latest poster child for this thanks to his indiscretions and suspension. Every time an athlete does this, we all get outraged about it and talk about how they don't respect anyone. Favre's actions, to me, are far worse. He is married. He has kids are old enough to read all about this. Shoot, his kids aren't that much younger than Sterger. His wife went through cancer. He's a grandfather. And Favre has always portrayed himself as a family man. But, call me old fashioned if you must, family men don't send pictures of their genitalia to other women. It kind of goes against the whole definition of Family Man - unless you are a Mormon and are just out recruiting for a bigger family. The problem is that these athletes from an early age are told they are the best. They get whatever they want. Colleges bend over backwards (sometimes literally) to get these guys there. Boosters, agents, underlings. Everyone around them tell them they are special. They get tons of money thrown at them at an age when they aren't old enough to know how to handle it. And there are always people willing to do anything to get into their world. Women throw themselves at them. And these athletes don't hear no often. So they get to the point where they think they can do whatever they want - someone else will clean up the mess. They don't budget their money. They don't think forward to the future. They don't value other people. The rules don't apply to them - because they never have. It's the same belief that celebrities like Lindsey Lohan, Casey Affleck, Paris Hilton, and old school Robert Downey Jr bought into. It is a sad society when there is a group of people who are "above the law." Once you've made that allowance, it is hard to take it back. That is why the efforts to reign in athletes and celebs seem so futile and pathetic. We are trying to erase decades of bad choices on OUR PART that has led to bad choices on their part. We never should have worshipped these people. It is never pretty when you try to undeify a god.
NFL QUICK HITS:
- I guess that there was more to Brett Favre's nickname "Gunslinger" than we thought.
- Is there a more dangerous position than NFL Quarterback? I mean that on two fronts. The first is obviously the injury one - as Aaron Rodgers is the latest high profile casualty. Everyone targets you. During plays, you get thrown around by giant freaks of nature like a rag doll. I'm actually surprised we don't see more ugly QB injuries. The other way I mean that comment, though, is danger for the team. It seems like every week we see some team destroyed by their stupid quarterback. We just seem to be in a cycle where there are more of these guys making dumb mistakes. Delhomme, Carson Palmer, Todd Collins, Alex Smith. It's a field day out there. And, honestly, you have to put Favre in that category most of the time now. It used to be that he would win you five extra games a year with his gutsy play, but cost you two. This year it seems reversed. Last night was the biggest example - he brought the team back due to his brilliance. But, the reason they were in trouble in the first place was because of him. And the reason they lost was because of him.
- If you want to hear some amazing football analysis, watch or listen to Colin Cowherd's radio show (simulcast on ESPNU) on Monday mornings. It certainly isn't to listen to him, because he is an inflated, entitled, egomaniacal d-bag. But on Mondays, Trent Dilfer breaks down the Sunday games. Yesterday I actually had the tv on something I wanted to watch when this segment came on. I was riveted. He is a BRILLIANT analyst. Seems weird, since he was such a shaky QB. But, he knew how to manage a game - so maybe that's why he's so good. No clue.
- Dilfer talked about how you can tell how a team is going to end up by looking at them right now. He said that the Giants are going to be really good this year because they buy into the team concept. He said players give up highlight generating tackles and sacks to ensure stoppages. When they go to tackle someone, they approach from a direction that ensures that even if the runner jukes them, he will just run into someone else. They are more interested in stopping people than helping their own stats.
- He also said that the Packers, Vikings, and Cowboys are not going anywhere. He said they are great fantasy teams because they put up stats. But if you track them, you will see that most of their stats come in the first half, when they are ahead, or when there is no pressure on them. When it gets later in the game, if they are behind, or if it is a tight game, they freeze up. And you can also track their damaging mistakes - ones that take points off the board or generate points for the other team. He went through Dallas' game on Sunday and showed that they lost like 21 points due to mistakes and allowed 10 for the other team! Really awesome analysis.
- Okay, I'll admit it. The Saints look shaky.
- How in the world does Mike Singletary still have a job? At least he has time to get his resume together. Who else is going to get canned this year? Mangini in Cleveland, Wade Philips in Dallas, Marvin Lewis in Cincy. I think that you could see Norv Turner in SD and Kubiak in Houston fired if their teams continue to collapse. Del Rio in Jax is on the hot seat - but they're so stupid they'll keep him if they finish 8-8. I hope they clean house in Buffalo, but who knows. This all may be a ploy to move the team.
- I can't figure out the Jaguars. My wife came up with the best explanation - they have a deal with the Gators. Only one of them can do well at a time. There can't be too much happiness in North Florida. She's right. Sept 11/12 - The Gators played an uninspiring game in a victory over USF. Jags beat Denver and Tebow. Mutual dissatisfaction. Sept 18/19 - Gators destroy Tennessee. Jags get destroyed by Chargers. Sept 25/26 - Gators annihilate Kentucky. Jags gets annihilated by the Iggles. Oct 2/3 - Gators get a giant tail kicking by Alabama. Jags knock off giant Indy on last minute kicking. Oct 9/10 - Gators get jacked by LSU & Refs. Jags jack up Buffalo. Weird. We'll see the best test of this theory this weekend. UF plays Mississippi State at home. Jax plays Tennessee at home on Monday night.
- Exactly half of the NFL is either 3-2, 2-2, or 2-3. Parity.
- The entire AFC South is 3-2. That is just wild. They are like the ACC of the NFL.
- The Chargers have scored the most points in the NFL and have a +34 point differential. Yet they are 2-3.
COLLEGE QUICK HITS:
- So much happened this past week. I'm not sure if it was because I was able to watch more games or what. It just felt like a big week to me.
- That hysterical laughter you heard coming from Tallahassee was me after Alabama and Nick Satan lost. Couldn't have happened to a jerkier person. I have never been quiet about my loathing for Steve Spurrier, but he has really been supplanted by the new breed of coaches. As obnoxious as the Ole Ball Coach is, he at least had loyalty and wasn't a completely self-absorbed megalomaniac. Guys like Petrino, Saban, Calipari, Huggins, Rodriguez have some serious problems. It's nice to see one of them get his comeuppance.
- I hate Florida. You all know this. But that got jacked in that LSU game. It was ridiculous. First of all, that fake kick was a forward pass. It was obvious. The refs were just chicken. If that had been a measurement for a first down, they would have jammed a business card in between the ball and the chain to make sure. But on that play, they didn't even notice. It may have only been a four inch pass, but it was forward. Look at the replay again. If you look at the holder, you can see he picks the ball up from the left side of the hashmark. When the ball lands, it was on the right side of the hashmark. Forward pass. Game over. And on the touchdown pass, he bobbled the ball. I don't care what the announcers said about him changing hands. The fact is the ball was not locked in place, it was moving. And there have been hundreds of plays that were called "lack of possession" for less than that. That all being said, there is one very important point that needs to be made. I've heard coaches say it before. "Don't play the game so the refs can decide it." UF never should have let it get that far. So they really don't have anyone to blame but themselves.
- LSU is freaking lucky. That is two weeks in a row they lost and then ended up with a win. There's two ways you can look at this. First, there is the "team of destiny" option. This is demonstrated by the Saints last year who should have lost several games and lucked into wins. Sometimes a team just seems to luck into a perfect season. Second, there is the "LSU is NOT that good" argument. That would be that some week their luck will run out and they will get punched in the mouth. I honestly believe it is option two. The team is not 6-0 good. They are going to get rocked at some point - my guess would be October 23 (Auburn) or November 6 (Alabama).
- Auburn is also stinking lucky.
- ACC Update - Wake Forest lost to Navy in the only non-conference matchup with a "quality" opponent. No, I don't count Va Tech's victory over Eastern Michigan quality. This week the only one close to mattering is East Carolina vs NC State. Now the ACC is just beating each other up.
- New coach, same USF. As Stickboy bemoaned on Facebook after Saturday's game. "I came back home tonight and saw the score - disappointed but not surprised.... we could beat 5 of the top 10 teams and still blow it against easy should be wins in the Big East." Couldn't have said it better. They have the reverse UCF disease.
- Speaking of the USF/UCF rivalry - here's a bizarre read about former USF coach Jim Leavitt. I always thought he was a Knight hater. Maybe he's just jockeying for a job - I'd be okay with that.
- Another Facebook quote from Queen City Noles regarding the newly potent FSU. "I would like to personally thank the University of Oklahoma for lighting a fire under FSU's blessed assurance four weeks ago. Since that time the Seminoles have looked very, very good." Yes, they have.
- Let's look at the state of the state of Florida. FSU 5-1, UF 4-2, UM 3-2, UCF 3-2, USF 3-2. And no one cares about the rest. (FIU, FAU, FAMU are a combined 4-11.) When was the last time FSU was on top of that list? 2005. I certainly didn't expect that after Oklahoma.
- BSU/TCU UPDATE: This was a good week for my dream matchup. Alabama lost. Michigan lost. And for good measure Arizona lost, although I never put too much weight on them. Just like I am not worried about LSU. They may jump into the top 10 thanks to the coach's bellyaching. But they will lose. So, now the teams standing in the way of awesomeness are Ohio State, Oregon, Oklahoma, Nebraska, and Auburn. This week looks positive for some movement too. Ohio State/Wisconsin, Nebraska/Texas, Auburn/Arkansas. I look for at least one of those teams losing. It's happening people. Get on board.
SFL QUICK HITS
- I do my best to not spend too much time on my own games. I try to spread it around. But this week, the game between Ferrets and Tebow Tosser deserves to be broken down. After getting called out in this column last week for his many roster moves and lack of results, and then CALLING ME to whine about that assessment (just kidding - he didn't whine too long), Tebow Tosser came out to prove a point. They had a solid game with some great performances. The Giants/Texans game helped with huge scores by Eli Manning and Hakeem Nicks. By the time Sunday's games ended Tebow had a 62 point lead with Ferrets fielding four players on Monday night - Percy Harvin, Adrian Peterson, Dustin Keller, and the Jets D. The game was still within reach if Peterson went crazy. But, the problem was that if the Vikings went buck wild on offense, the Jets would lose points on Defense. What to do? At halftime, it appeared lost for the Ferrets. Harvin had 10 points, Peterson had 8, Keller had 1, and the Jets had 14. Still behind by 29. Well, the solution was Brett Favre. He went crazy in the second half. Two touchdowns to Harvin, plus 195 return yards for Percy. BUT, Favre also was kind enough to throw interceptions - including one for a TD. That meant that even though Peterson only got 10 points and Keller got 1, Harvin scored 38 and the Jets D had almost 23. Ferrets win by 12. Four straight for the Commish. Unfortunate turn for Tosser.
- Getting called out in the newsletter does help some people, though. Queen City Noles has reeled off two straight big wins - this week clipping Mean Green despite crazy performances by Tony Romo and Brandon Lloyd. Don't look now, but Noles are part of the log jam at 3-2. This week the square off with top ranked Gator Greats. Can the surge continue?
- The Buffalo Bills went to four straight Super Bowls in the 1990s. Sure they lost all four, but they went. Crazy good organization. Now, they are run by crazy people and are one of the worst franchises in the NFL. Monkey is the SFL equivalent. 0-5 after yet another stomping by top ranked Gators. -86 point differential. How the mighty have fallen.
- Speaking of fallen, perennial cellar dweller Tampa Bay Rams have plummeted to earth like a meteorite after starting 2-0. They are now in 8th place and have been outscored by 61 points. They were no match for the run-n-shoot offense of Odious Repercussions this past week. Next week they square off with 2nd place Ferret, so things don't look much better.
- Stickboy seems to be pulling a New Orleans Saints style swoon this year. Their loss to Da Bus dropped them to 2-3. Losing is never good. Losing to a guy who started two players on a bye? That is horrible. Da Bus had the highest score this week, thanks to 30+ performances by Rivers and Malcolm Floyd. Stickboy only had three players under 10 points. Still added up to a loss.
- The trade deadline was placed later this year - not late enough to allow roster dumping, but later. We've actually had four trades this year! And there is a fifth awaiting league approval. If you want to trade, talk to Odious Repercussions. He loves them.
QUICK UPDATE ON RETREAT CENTER: For those of you who don't support the Defender Ministries cause on Facebook (Why don't you? You a hater?), I just wanted to thank you for your prayers. The meetings last weekend went very well. Things are progressing. We will be going back up November 11 to meet again and bring some building experts to help inspect the facility. Things are positive. We just need to see if this is something we can do first. Thanks again!
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