NINTH SEASON: College Preview

The long awaited college football season begins tonight - with a plethora of sterling matchups.  You've got two legendary programs squaring off as Ohio State battles Marshall.  Then you've got The U strapping it on against national contender FAMU.  All joking aside, there are some good games too.  Pitt against Utah could be good.  And the USC Semi Pro team will be trying out their new d-bag coach, Lane Kiffin, against Hawaii.  But it is the first week of the season.  It is supposed to be the week when the big dogs beat up on the little runts, getting their preseason action in before the tough schedules kick in.  It has been funny over the years, watching as UCF used to be that cupcake against teams like Nebraska, Georgia, Florida, and Auburn.  Now they have their own baked goods lined up as they play South Dakota.

If you are being completely honest, you probably agree that college football has surpassed professional football in enjoyability.  There are real rivalries - teams that detest each other.  Every game means something.  And the game still is somewhat relatable to fans - even though the thought of paying 50 bucks to watch FSU kick Samford all over the field is a big much to stomach.  Professional football has become such a business - it is so bloated and promoted and managed - that it is tough to really grab hold of a team any more.  Players switch teams like jock straps.  It is nothing to see someone jump sides in a rivalry - Brett Favre being the biggest example.  It has become like rooting for a company.  How many of us would be willing to drop good money to cheer for Coke or Ikea?  Actually, I would wager that Apple has more "dedicated fans" than most pro sports teams now.  It is rare to have a NFL announcement generate enough buzz to get the national media going for days - Apple does it three times a year.

College sports have better stories.  Their players are mostly playing because they want to - only a small number have a shot at anything in the NFL, CFL, AFL, or UFL.  There are huge crowds.  If you went to a school - or followed it as a fan for years - you have strong loyalty.  That isn't going to change just because a player leaves or graduates or holds up a Taco Bell.  College football is great.

Except....

There is that one ugly element that is know as the BS BCS.  Everything is so great about the whole process.  And then, right at the end, when it all should matter, the winner seems to be picked on a whim. Sure, most years things end up okay and the "right teams" play for the title.  Or at least that is what the BCS says.  There still is something about the whole thing that smells funny.  Every year, some team like Boise State or TCU or Utah or BYU goes undefeated and left out in the cold.  And they usually end up playing in a BCS bowl against some other team that missed out on an opportunity to play in the title game.  And then that frustrated SEC team obliterates the upstart - righting the natural order and "proving" that the non-BCS conferences didn't belong there in the first place.

This year, there has been a lot of coverage about how Boise State may have finally guaranteed themselves a title shot.  They started the year ranked third.  That means that they don't have as far to climb.  Usually they start at 12 or so, and they have to climb up as they go undefeated.  Then they end up on the outside looking in.  This year, they start higher, so all they have to do is win them all.  And there are people who have been complaining they rigged it.  WHAT!?!  They figured out what they had to do and made it work.  Good for them.  I hope they do get to the title game.  (Watch, they'll lose to Virginia Tech first week and make all the arguments moot.)

The thing I hate about the BCS is that the element of surprise is all but eliminated.  The chance that some team could come from nowhere and win it all is gone.  If a big conference team made a run, they might have a chance.  But the way the system works, a team that starts off unranked has too much to make up. Let's just say that UCF had a phenomenal year.  (Stop snickering.  It is a hypothetical scenario.)  Let's just say that they just went bananas and went undefeated.  In the process, they knocked off NC State, Kansas State, Houston, and East Carolina.  So they had some decent wins.  And let's say they did this in an impressive way - lots of points, strong performances.  What are the odds they could even get into the BCS?  Slim to none.  They would have to get up into the top six to be guaranteed a spot.  If they got into the top twelve, they would have to hope that there wasn't a "bigger team" that was available.  More than likely, they would end up going to the Conference USA title game, and then earning a spot in the illustrious Liberty Bowl.  This is the same thing that BYU was saying when they jumped ship from the Mountain West last week.  They figured they would stand a better chance of getting into the national title on their own than working within a conference.  (And they don't have to share any money, either.)

That's a problem.  I still don't understand why college football won't go to a 16 team playoff system.  It makes no sense.  The games would be off the chart.  The money generated would be ludicrous.  And the national title game would be as big as the Super Bowl - or bigger.  Last year, Alabama and Texas went at it for the national title.  Two of the biggest powerhouse college teams with the biggest legacies out there.  And the game just felt meh.  It was there, it was hyped, but it wasn't HUGE.  Imagine if that same matchup happened after four rounds of games - where Alabama had to beat Florida and Boise State and Texas had to knock off Oregon and Iowa.  I bet the title game would have a zoo.  But, as always, what I think doesn't matter at all.  So I just need to shut up.

Here's some quick thoughts on the Florida teams - with a couple random thoughts too.

• In Florida, we are spoiled.  It is a fact.  No matter which team you root for, there is a certain pride in knowing that someone from the Sunshine State will still be romping around come January.  In the last thirty years, a Florida team has won TEN of the titles.  The next closest state has three.  When you take into account the other voters - not just the AP, USA TODAY, BCS - Florida teams have been voted National Champ in NINETEEN of those thirty years (some years had more than one Florida team represented).  That means that in almost 2/3 of all those years, there was a Florida team with a legitimate claim to the title.  We are spoiled.
• FSU - Lots of people around here have this confidence - that since Jimbo supplanted Bobby, everything is going to be ducky.  I don't necessarily agree.  Here's my basic problems.  First, Jimbo has been here the whole time as the train derailed.  He was the "de facto coach."  He was the mastermind.  Soooo, what exactly is going to change now?  I was one of the loudest "Fire Bobby" guys out there.  I think FSU did what they had to do.  But they botched it.  They should have paid Jimbo to go too - consider it a dodged bullet.  But, they pushed forward.  Second, I don't like Fisher.  He tried to portray himself as this good ole' boy successor.  But he is an arrogant turd.  You could sense it back at signing day, when he just rambled on, like we were all blessed to hear his voice.  But he's also banned numerous press members, insisted on him being the only voice of the program, basically turned back into Nick Saban - his mentor.  Saban gets results.  But he is a total jerk.  He's also a brilliant coach, as long as he can pay and bully players.  (I guess the bullying part was why he failed in the NFL.)  I'm not sure Fisher is on the same plane.  Although they have had good recruiting classes.  I guess we'll wait and see.
• UF - Superman is gone.  What now?  We've all read about how much better of a "true quarterback" Brantley is.  And that is probably true.  But there are some things that makes me wonder about UF.  First, this offseason was tumultuous.  That doesn't happen in Gainesville.  They are very business like - come in, get ready, go win.  With the stuff loss of Tebow, there was a huge upheaval. And the Meyer health issues made it worse.  I think that Urban is not going to let that hurt UF, but still, that is a lot of distraction for a team that usually doesn't allow that junk.  Second, UF has to deal with the Tebow issue.  He was a unbelievably popular player.  That's why there are so many Broncos fans now.  You don't lose a player of that stature and just pop back up like nothing happened.  Look at the Packers, for example.  Were they better off in the long run without Favre?  No doubt.  Is Rodgers a great QB?  Yup.  But the void left by #4 leaving took years to get over - and it still flares up whenever Favre comes to town.  Even though they filled the position, they can't replace the icon.  How do they get past that?
• THE U - Miami is back in the picture.  That is for sure.  How far will they go?  That is the question.  The ACC is going to be tough - with several ranked teams.  They play six ranked teams - including Ohio State and Pitt.  It is not an easy schedule.  But Miami has too much swagger to not be able to get up for those big games.  I'm glad to see they moved the FSU game off the first week - that was just a bad idea from the start.  With Miami, they have seemed like they are on the verge of a break out for a couple years.  People still fear them - even though they haven't been players for a while.  But that schedule could kill them.  First five games include at Ohio State, at Pitt, at Clemson, and home against the Seminoles.  They could walk out of that 1-4 or 5-0.  If it is the former, they are going to struggle all year - since they still play UNC, Georgia Tech, and VA Tech.  If they get through the first half, they just will need to keep from having a brain fart against USF.  
• UCF - What to do with the Knights?  They have not had two winning seasons in a row since George O'Leary came to town.  And it isn't even close.  They wildly veer between atrocious and very good.  Either they are going to give Texas a run for its money, or they are going to get trounced.  They are like Star Trek movies.  Hit or big miss.  This year is supposed to be their down year.  Last year they were surprisingly good - went to a bowl and lost, as always.  This year, according to their light switch approach to football, they should be off.  BUT, the problem is that they are a more talented team this year.  They return a butt load of players.  And they have a great schedule.  Normally they have a couple big conference teams scheduled to destroy them.  This year, those teams are NC State and Kansas State - neither one ranked or powerhouses.  The toughest team they play may be Houston.  East Carolina - a major nemesis to the Knights - will be down thanks to losing their coach.  If it was any other team, it wouldn't be a stretch to think they could run the table.  But this is UCF....
• USF - Da Bulls.  They have always been so impressive in how together they were.  From the very beginning, they had a plan and executed it well.  They weren't afraid of anyone.  They felt they could compete with every team - and did.  Big games brought out the best in them.  They knocked off ranked teams.  Put them up against a non-conference big shot, and that guy was going down.  But they were channeling their coach.  Jim Leavitt was the heart of that team.  It had his personality.  It is hard to find another pairing of coach and team that was more in sync.  This off season, Leavitt went and pulled a Bobby Knight and got himself fired.  You can't choke players any more.  They can rape, pillage, rob, whatever.  But you can't touch those precious china dolls.  Or you get sent packing.  Enter Skip Holtz.  A good coach with a good lineage.  But, there has got to be some interruption of service at USF.  You don't rip your heart out and be good to go the next minute - even Will Turner needed a couple minute in Pirates of the Caribbean.  I think the ceiling for USF is higher with Holtz.  They used to get so hyped for big games and then lose stupid conference games to UConn.  He should help them even out.  But, there is a long term issue, as well. Leavitt was never leaving USF.  He had turned down so many offers - including his alma mater Kansas State.  Holtz doesn't have that commitment level.  If they get too successful, they may have to go through this again.
• North Texas - To be fair to our one team that is not beholden to a Florida team, we should look at the Mean Green.  Um, they play Clemson, Kansas State, FIU, FAU, Army.  And, uh, they seem, uh, like they mean well.  Yeah, they suck.
• Just for the record, I still hate Ohio State.  Why were they ranked second in the preseason poll?  It just makes it easier for them to make it to the BCS games to get destroyed by some team from a real conference.  Every year,...
• I have mixed feelings about all of the rejiggering that happened with the conferences this year.  I am excited to see what happens with Colorado and Utah in the Pac 10.  Utah could really throw a monkey wrench into the USC juggernaut.  Nebraska going to the Big 10 just means there is another boring team over there, so I could care less.  And the other swapping just seemed kind of pointless - like getting a better seat at the kids' table.  I have no doubt this is far from over.  It seemed like these moves were just the calm before the storm.  I fully expect another round after this season.  On the other hand, I am excited that at some point UCF may luck into a seat at the table.  When everything gets consolidated into four mega-conferences, they will need some other whipping boys like Vanderbilt and Duke.  Maybe UCF can fill that role.  
• Lane Kiffin is such a jerk.  Normally, when I find out some famous person is my age, it makes me feel bad that I haven't done more with my life.  Not him.  He is such an awful person that I actually am glad that I sit home.  I have to wonder just how bad he can get.  What more can he do?  He's offended so many people.  Will he be out of coaching by the age of 40?  Once he bails on USC or runs it into the ground  - where will he go next?  I think he should coach there for one mediocre year, then go sign with the Dallas Cowboys.  Then he can say he left because USC was stupid and got into trouble - nothing was his fault.  Then when he goes to Dallas, he should publicly urinate on a Indian reservation - to show his disdain for the Redskins.  He should violate the rules for free agency ten times in five minutes.  Then, call out Jerry Jones in a press conference - later calling it a joke.  And then make a bunch of comments about New York being gay.  Maybe then he'll get hit by a battery during a game or they'll find his body in a river.  

I know, this was largely useless.  But you should be used to it by now.  Plus, I was trying to write this while Gabe was tearing around the house causing problems.  Natalie was begging for dinner.  And Josiah was walking in circles with a fake microphone narrating some stupid story about something - very loud.  Heather, conveniently enough, was not here.  She had a "commitment" at the school until 8pm.  You can't expect Pulitzer Prize stuff under those circumstances.  Next week I'll tackle the NFL,

SFL'S NINTH SEASON: Media Guide

Ah, football.  The oasis in the desert of the sports scene.  We have missed thee so.  Life just isn't the same unless large millionaires run around, throw a ball, and try to rip each other's heads off.  Something seems off when the most excitement we get is a baseball player tapping another one with a bat on the shin guards.  Seriously, there is more violence demonstrated in one kickoff of an NFL game than we saw in that huge "bench clearing brawl."  And, since we are guys, we are drawn to violence.  We watch violent movies.  We enjoy violent sports.  We participate in violent hobbies.

That is why the collective male nation holds its breath, waiting for football to start.  We put up with basketball.  We snooze through baseball.  We even tolerate the vuvuzelas to watch soccer.  But there is nothing quite like football.  Sure, the sport may have lost some of its luster over the years.  The concussion issue is something that really bothers me, for example.  The BS BCS gets on my nerves every year in college football.  And the threat of a NFL lockout next year really chafes me.  How can this collection of multi-millionaires and multi-billionaires not come up with a solution to this?  I mean, the least valuable franchise in the NFL is worth $785 million!  (Ladies and gentlemen, your Jacksonville Jaguars!!!)  Get a grip.

But there still is nothing like football.  When you throw in the High Def, the NFL Network, NFL Red Zone channel, and the rivalries of college football - it is just a wonderful thing.  I am thrilled that football is about to begin.  And with its arrival, I will again try (probably unsuccessfully) to win my sons over to the sport.  I have tried to get Josiah to watch football for nine years now.  No dice.  I keep trying to get Gabe interested in it - even using the "Pop Pop loves football" card.  Still no go.  They would prefer to do stupid stuff like read, use their imagination, and play together instead of wasting hours on the couch - stuffing their face with chips and rooting for people they will never meet.

Anyway, here we are for another year of the SFL.  It is our ninth year at the Staples Football League.  There have been a lot of changes over the years.  We have five charter teams remaining.  We've added and lost a lot of teams over the years.  But the league has always been pretty entertaining.  And I look forward to it every year.  It is also a reminder to me of where I have been.  I have people in this league from every city I have lived in and from every major part of my life.  It is pretty cool how someone has always remained from each phase.  Eight of our ten teams have played for three or more years.  We have one new team - Mean Green, owned by David Tarkington from Orange Park.  Don't take him lightly like some of our other newbie teams.  He is no newcomer to fantasy football - just to this league.  Overall, let's have fun.  I will try to put the weekly posts up.  Maybe at some point I will actually succeed in doing that every single week.  The draft already happened, in case you didn't notice.  So we are on our way.  Before we get rolling, though, let's get to know the teams.  Consider this the SFL Media Guide.

*** There are only two fake items in the following section.  Can you identify them?***

STICKBOY (formerly Ferret's Nightmare, Benji's Bulldogs, Monkey's Nightmare, Random Winners)
2009 FINISH: First for his third SFL title
OWNER: Benji Stultz
HOMEBASE: Apopka, FL
ALUMNUS OF: USF, Stetson
FAVORITE TEAMS: Da Bulls, Bucs
SIX DEGREES TO THE SUPER BOWL: Benji hails from the indoor foliage capitol of the world - Apopka, FL.  This is also the hometown of Warren Sapp.  Warren Sapp was on the Super Bowl XXXVII Champion Tampa Bay Bucs.
HOW THEY GOT INTO THE SFL: Benji Stultz is one of the original SFL team owners.  He was a freshman at USF when David - our Commish - first started working there.  Benji originally pissed David off by appearing to be "too cool to talk to the new fat intern."  Later on they became really good friends.
RANDOM TRIVIA FACT: Benji's dad is a big shot Army General.

ODIOUS REPERCUSSIONS (formerly Ugly Consequenes, Koios)
2009 FINISH: Second
OWNER: Matthew Sharp
HOMEBASE: Oviedo, FL
ALUMNUS OF: UCF
FAVORITE TEAMS: Hurricanes, Dolphins, Braves, UCF Knights
SIX DEGREES TO THE SUPER BOWL: One time Matt and some friends of his were at Friday's Front Row Sports Bar in Orlando and Tony Dorsett was eating at the next table over.  Tony Dorsett was on the Super Bowl XII champion Dallas Cowboys.
HOW THEY GOT INTO THE SFL: Matt Sharp has known David - our Commish - since they were in Kindygarden.  This was back when David wore socks that were taller than Matt.  And there is photographic proof of this.  They also roomed together in college.  And then they went to the same church in Orlando before David moved.
RANDOM TRIVIA FACT: Matt once got hit by a car and broke his collarbone.

BLOODTHIRSTY FERRETS (formerly Oviedo Knights)
2009 FINISH: Third
OWNER: Rev. David Staples
HOMEBASE: Tallahasse, FL
ALUMNUS OF: UCF
FAVORITE TEAMS: UCF Knights, Jaguars, Magic
SIX DEGREES TO THE SUPER BOWL: David attended Forest Hill High School in West Palm Beach, FL.  This was also the alma mater of the immortal Ottis Anderson - MVP of Super Bowl XXV with the New York Giants.  (He also knows Heath Evans, fullback for the Super Bowl champion New Orleans Saints.  But the Anderson link was funnier.)
HOW THEY GOT INTO THE SFL: David Staples started the league.  So you can't kick him out, no matter how hard you try.
RANDOM TRIVIA FACT: David's blood is 14% donut grease - down from 18% in January.

GATOR GREATS
2009 FINISH: Fourth
OWNER: Dr. Eddie Gilley
HOMEBASE: Gainesville, FL
ALUMNUS OF: Samford University, Southern Baptist Seminary, New Orleans Seminary
FAVORITE TEAMS: Gators, Gators, Gators
SIX DEGREES TO THE SUPER BOWL: Eddie performed the wedding ceremony for Jason Odom. Jason was a starting Offensive Tackle for the Tampa Bay Bucs from 1996 to 1999.  A bunch of players on that team won Super Bowl XXXVII.
HOW THEY GOT INTO THE SFL: Eddie Gilley was the boss of David - our Commish - at his very first ministry job when he was just a newbie intern with a bad haircut, no self esteem, and a sardonic approach to life.  He has watched David grow so much in those years - he has a much better haircut now.
RANDOM TRIVIA FACT: Eddie once had a perm.

DA BUS
2009 FINISH: Fifth
OWNER: Jason Mills
HOMEBASE: Gainesville, FL
ALUMNUS OF: Attending UF
FAVORITE TEAMS: Gators, Magic, Bucs
SIX DEGREES TO THE SUPER BOWL: Jason is a huge Star Wars fan.  Billy Dee Williams was in Star Wars.  One time a commercial for Colt 45 starring Billy Dee Williams aired during the Super Bowl.
HOW THEY GOT INTO THE SFL: Jason Mills was a student at ICS when David - our Commish - taught Bible there in the one and only year that David used his college degree.  Jason now is a student at UF.  And, surprisingly, he still has the brain power to play fantasy football.
RANDOM TRIVIA FACT: Jason used to have a bus washing business.

MONKEY
2009 FINISH: Sixth
OWNER: Josh Ellis
HOMEBASE: Knoxville, TN
ALUMNUS OF: UCF
FAVORITE TEAMS: Knights, Gators
SIX DEGREES TO THE SUPER BOWL: Josh is a State Farm Insurance agent.  One of the athletes with an endorsement deal with State Farm is LeBron James.  LBJ23 is a Rat Bass Turd who held the sports world hostage when he decided to sign with the Miami Heat.  Miami is the home of the Dolphins, and many Super Bowls.
HOW THEY GOT INTO THE SFL: Josh Ellis attended church with David - our Commish - in Oviedo.  His wife also worked with David.  The experience was so traumatic for both of them that they had to move to Knoxville.  The fact that Josh is a rabid Gator fan, willing to live in Knoxville, should tell you the real story.
RANDOM TRIVIA FACT: Josh loves McDonald's.

TEBOW TOSSERS formerly Badcounsel
2009 FINISH: Seventh
OWNER: Rev. Randy Gillis
HOMEBASE: Oviedo, FL
ALUMNUS OF: UCF, Southwestern Seminary
FAVORITE TEAMS: Knights, Gators, Dolphins
SIX DEGREES TO THE SUPER BOWL: Randy once had a wardrobe malfunction while gyrating on stage with Justin Timberlake.  So did Janet Jackson - at the Super Bowl.
HOW THEY GOT INTO THE SFL: Randy Gillis attended UCF before David - our Commish - got there.  They did not actually know each other there.  David can't count the times that someone said, "You know Randy Gillis, right?"  And he had to respond, "No, I got here after him."  But they never listened.  Randy was a college minister at UF when David was at USF.  Then they worked on church staff together in Orlando.
RANDOM TRIVIA FACT: Randy once took a vacation to Iceland.

QUEEN CITY NOLES (Formerly Tally Noles)
2009 FINISH: Eighth
OWNER: Greg Ramer
HOMEBASE: Tallahassee, FL
ALUMNUS OF: FSU
FAVORITE TEAMS: Noles, Bucs, Braves
SIX DEGREES TO THE SUPER BOWL: Greg once dated a girl that got hit on by a naked Chris Rix, quarterback of FSU.  Chris Rix was the pathetic successor of Chris Weinke.  Weinke was the bright shining star of the Carolina Panthers when they lost in the Super Bowl to the New England Patriots - and when Janet Jackson showed her boobie.
HOW THEY GOT INTO THE SFL: Greg Ramer has been many things to David - our Commish - over the years.  Greg was a student, a roommate, a whipping boy, a lunch buyer, a guy running away very fast.  Currently they live in the same city - the thriving megalopolis of Tallahassee.  Although they are both doing their best to escape as soon as possible.
RANDOM TRIVIA FACT: Greg had a purple truck for many years.

TAMPA BAY RAMS
2009 FINISH: Tenth (our Ninth place team was not invited back because he sucked)
OWNER: Ryan Marlatt
HOMEBASE: Tampa, FL
ALUMNUS OF: USF
FAVORITE TEAMS: Da Bulls, Bucs, Rays, Lightning
SIX DEGREES TO THE SUPER BOWL: Ryan worked for a long time at Lifeway Christian Stores. One of the most popular books there was written by Tony Dungy.  Dungy was screwed out of a Super Bowl ring when the Bucs kicked him to the curb for Jeff Gruden.  But he later won one with the Colts.
HOW THEY GOT INTO THE SFL: Ryan Marlatt was a student when David - our Commish - was the college minister in Tampa.  They have stayed close over the years.  And, even though his teams usually end up at the bottom of the SFL - and even though David gives him a ton of junk about it - Ryan still sticks with it.  Cause that's the kind of guy he is.
RANDOM TRIVIA FACT: Ryan's nickname used to be Rhino.

MEAN GREEN
2009 FINISH: N/A (first year of existence)
OWNER: Rev. David Tarkington
HOMEBASE: Orange Park, FL
ALUMNUS OF: North Texas, Southwestern Seminary
FAVORITE TEAMS: North Texas, Jaguars, Dallas Mavericks
SIX DEGREES TO THE SUPER BOWL: David has attended a bunch of Jaguars games.  One famous player he saw play was Mark Brunell.  Brunell never won a Super Bowl with the Jags.  But he did weasel his way into a ring with the Saints last year - despite the fact that NO ONE knew he was even in the league.  This includes the New Orleans Saints.
HOW THEY GOT INTO THE SFL: David Tarkington is the Senior Pastor of FBC Orange Park.  He used to be the youth pastor there.  While there, he had one Heather Crissinger as his student.  She decided to go down to USF.  So he, being a good youth minister, sent word down to his buddies down in Tampa to take good care of her.  And David - our Commish - being a good college minister, married her.  (This is David Tarkington's favorite story to tell about David Staples.)
RANDOM TRIVIA FACT: David's brother was a bull rider.

WEEK FOURTEEN: I Still Suck

So, I my mouth makes a promise my butt can't cash. I distinctly said that I would be able to write a post this week. I missed last week and swore that I would be on the ball this week. Well, let me just give you a rundown of what happened since that last post.

• Friday - Pack for a weekend trip, pick up the kids, drive down to Tampa to see my mom and sister.
• Saturday - Spend the day with family. Games aren't played yet, anyway.
• Sunday - Drive back to Tallahassee. Pack my bags for my next trip. Watch maybe two minutes of football. Text a smack talk message to BadCounsel. Realize I had made a mistake. Try to backpeddle on my smack talk.
• Monday - Wake up to a flat tire. Get it fixed. Drive down to Orlando. Work on stuff for Defender whilst there. Go to bed.
• Tuesday - Spend nine hours writing. Get tired of being on the computer.
• Wednesday - Go to three meetings in Orlando. Drive all the way back. Feel rotten - hurting back and stomach. Go to bed early.
• Thursday - Finish up shopping, pick up kids, get stuff for party at Nat's school, write this whiny post.

So, there you have it. This is one of the first times I was even able to sit down and look at the SFL stuff to think about our post. Sure, I saw the results of the weekend. But I haven't been able to summon up some bologna to put on virtual paper. Here are some quick thoughts about the SFL playoffs.

• Hottest team in the SFL? Gator Greats. The team all but gave up about a two months ago. But then they went on a tear, winning five straight games and seven of nine. Their two losses were both by less than a point. The smallest win margin was 18 points. The average win was 29 points. And they beat Stickboy two weeks ago. AND, they beat Ferrets in both matchups this year (just looking forward to potential final game).
• Stickboy pulled in almost 100 points more than any other team. Quite simply, if they are running on all cylinders, they cannot be beat. Unless Gator Greats just keeps this insane fire going.
• Ugly Consequences has the potential to hang up an enormous number of points on people. But, somehow, they have lost both games to Bloodthirsty Ferrets. They didn't score 100 points in either game - the only two games they had under 100 points. Maybe the Ferrets are just in their head.
• Speaking of the Ferrets - they seem to be like the Cardinals last year. You almost scratch your head and wonder how the heck they got here, let alone finish 11-3. Their performances have never been very impressive, almost like Ohio State. But they don't inspire much confidence. Seriously, which quarterback is a sure fire start now? Big Ben or Brady? Are any of the receivers going to do diddly?
• Predictions: Stickboy 132, Gator Greats 141. Bloodthirsty Ferret 103, Ugly Consequences 131.

WEEK THIRTEEN: Bound to Happen

Well, it was bound to happen. I couldn't possibly have managed to actually update this every single week, could I? I knew it would happen. It is like when an NFL team is going for the undefeated season. It never is the game they should lose that takes them down, it is the one that they never should have lost. That's what happened. It wasn't Heather's exam week that knocked me out. It wasn't the week when I had a 103 fever. It was the week after all of the stress - the week when Heather was finally home for a month. I had no excuse. I had more free time than I have had since early this summer. There is no reason I would miss this week. And, yet, I did. Pretty pathetic.

By now, you know how last week played out in the NCAA, NFL, and SFL. The Gators lost, the BCS protected their big conference schools by matching TCU and Boise State in the worst big time bowl game ever, the Saints and Colts stayed undefeated, and the SFL moved one week closer to the playoffs. We are in our last regular season game. Stickboy and Bloodthirsty Ferrets are locked into the 1 and 2 slots. If Stickboy wins, he is #1. If he loses and Ferrets wins, Ferret is #1. If Ugly Consequences wins, he has the #3 slot. If he loses, it is mathematically possible for him to drop to #5 - but it would be an absolute miracle. If Gator Greats wins, he is in - probably as #4, unless Ugly loses and Gators wins and outscores Ugly by 28 points. Bad Counsel is in if he wins and Gator Greats loses. Tally Noles still has a slim chance, if both Gator and Counsel lose and Tally wins and outscores Gators by 90 points. Soooo, his chance of making the playoffs is about as good as Bobby Bowden's coming back as "Ambassador."

Got all that? Yeah, me neither. Next week, I will be back with a season recap and playoff preview. And in two weeks, we will have some SFL awards. So, sorry I blew it this week. I'll make it up to you next week.

WEEK TWELVE: Bunch of Crap

FOOTBALL THOUGHTS

• I found myself doing something I never thought I would on Saturday. I was rooting for UF. It happened subtly at first. When they scored on one drive, I went, "Yes!" Then I looked around and asked, "Why am I cheering for them?" The big thing is that UF is just not as easy to hate as before. You know, aside from the eye gouging and that they let Eddie Gilley roam the sidelines. The biggest thing is that I really like Tim Tebow. I like him as a person. I like him as a player. I hope that the Jaguars get him. (Not that I would saddle him with those losers.) He's the kind of player you want your team to have so you can cheer for him without feeling like a sellout. I hate how the media is into this backlash now. "Tebow is overrated. He only won the Heisman because Dixon got hurt. He's a media darling. Vince Young was better." I will say this, I have watched a lot of college football since 1979 - when I first remember watching the NCAA. I have seen a LOT of great players. Herschel Walker, Charlie Ward, Barry Sanders, David Klingler. But I think Tebow is the greatest college player I have ever seen. He may not have the passing records of a BYU stat inflator. He may have had a great defense to bail him out. But he has TWO national championship - with a good chance for a THIRD, THREE top five Heisman finishes (I'm assuming he'll at least be fifth), and the respect of a lot of people who know what they are talking about. I know as Christians we have a problem making Christian athletes out to be better than they are. "Heath Evans is the most underrated fullback in the NFL. Trent Dilfer was a Hall of Fame quarterback." We confuse the person with the player (see the Bowden item later). But in this case, I think the quality of his personhood makes him a better football player. I just enjoy watching him play - and even more hearing him talk. And think about the number of times Hebrews 12:1-2 got quoted in the national media since Saturday.
• What is with this Vince Young renaissance? It's like some movie villain got killed at the end of the first film and then got re-animated to haunt the second film. Like Agent Smith in the Matrix Trilogy. He is back without his former limitations. My brain can't even begin to understand that this is the same guy who had a nervous breakdown last year. At the end of that Cardinals game he was like Blue Steel.
• You know that the BCS bigwigs were very nervous on Saturday for most of that Alabama/Auburn game. It was the worst case scenario coming to pass. If Alabama had lost, and then beaten Florida in the SEC title game, TCU would be in the BCS title game. Then if Texas had lost to Nebraska, it would be TCU vs. Cincy or Boise State. Also would have been known as the "Crappiest Title Game Ever." Ah, well. We can still hope Texas loses and TCU worms its way in there.
• Georgia had an absolutely horrible season. I have been embarrassed as a person with affection for that team. So, can one game make up for the season? No. Definitely not. But it still was fun to screw over Tech. Hahaha. And more proof that the SEC is basically the NFL's true developmental league.
• USF. Sigh. Here is something very disturbing I have noticed about the Bulls. They do amazing things in the first half of the year. They beat ranked team, upset perennial powerhouses, make all kinds of waves. But then they kind of stagger through the second half and end up in some lame-butt bowl like the St. Petersburg Bowl. It happens every year. Five straight bowl appearances is impressive. It would be more impressive if it was a Bowl not named after a city or a car part. And with the way FSU sucked this year, it kind of minimizes the USF victory. They need to focus on staying the course.
• Congrats to my Golden Knights. 8-4 is impressive for that team, especially when no one expected that this year. They have proven resilient, won some close games, beaten a ranked team. I hope they can build on this. And I hope they enjoy playing in their bowl game. Even though it is, sigh, the lame butt St. Petersburg Bowl. This is what happens when you play in Conference USA.
• I am personally thrilled about the attention concussions has gotten this year in the NFL. And the safety steps they are taking is great progress. There was some question as to if Big Ben and Kurt Warner should have been sat out - which shows how far we still have to go to change our mindset regarding football. I'm glad they sat. And when they can remember their kids' names (the ones they know about), they will be glad they sat too.
• Something needs to happen to the Jaguars. I know they aren't as bad as the Browns and Redskins. But they are slowly getting into dangerous territory. Two years ago, they were a couple of plays away from the Super Bowl. Now they barely beat the crappiest teams in the NFL and get whipped by anyone with a winning record. Their ticket sales are terrible. I hate to see them go, but that's a franchise that would probably benefit from a Ravens-style reboot. Move them to London and let them start over. The London Jaguars. Or the San Antonio Chupacabras. Just not L.A.
• Small B-ball note: I finally finished Bill Simmons' Book of Basketball this weekend. I consider that a huge accomplishment. 702 pages. I feel like my knowledge of basketball has probably doubled since I started the book. Seriously. And, honestly, I think I enjoy the game more now. (Doesn't hurt that the Magic are doing well.) I wish it was feasible to do a football book like that, but there is no way. It would be 4000 pages.
• Do you remember a worse slate of Thanksgiving games? I knew going in they would be ugly. I just hoped the night game would be the saving grace. No such luck.
• I had an idea to help Notre Dame. They need something to bring them some attention. Since they refuse to play in a conference, and since they get special rules and treatment from the NCAA, we could pull this off. What about each year they switch to a different conference, just for football and just for one year? Tell me that wouldn't be fun. The first year, they can do the Big Ten, since that is basically what they are anyway. Then they can switch to the Big East, which is their basketball conference. Then the Pac 10, since they play them a lot. Then it gets fun - ACC, C-USA, SEC, , WAC, BIG 12, Mountain West. Every other year they could rule the roost and get a sweet BCS invite by rocking the Boise States and BYU's and UCF's of the world. Then they would have one year where they just get their arses handed to them - go like 2-10 against the SEC. They could keep their out of conference games against the military schools, to give them some easy games. But that would be a true independent. They would have to learn to recruit to play any style. Within a few years, they could become this monster team that could beat anyone. Or they would be miserable manhandled on a yearly basis. Either way would be fun to watch.
• I've been pretty vocal in my desire to see Bowden retire. And now that he did, it isn't as much of a happy feeling as I hoped it would be. Part of it is that once you strip away Incompetent Team Killing Bobby, you are left with Nice Old Man Bobby. That and all the pundits who were clamoring for his head last week now are chastising those who pushed out the Old Man. The truth of the matter that cannot be denied is that the person most responsible for how this ended for Bobby Bowden is Bobby Bowden. In 2002 he made an agreement with the school that he would leave before he lost his ability to coach. He has had eight seasons to do that. And he has insisted that "last year was just a glitch" and come back. He could have left like Vince Dooley at UGA and become Athletic Director. He could have dropped down to an assistant to Jimbo Fisher. He could have done something to admit he was not the same. But he didn't. Now he is like Tom Landry, a nice old man tossed out on the street after he built the building. I feel bad for him. But this could have been avoided.
• The other thing I truly believe that hurt FSU was the decision by FSU and UM to switch their game to opening weekend. Both teams got tired of watching their title hopes go down in flames in October. They realized losing early to a quality team allows you time to recover and weasel into the BCS by the end. This decision was made in 2004. Since then, neither team has been a player in the title chase. Neither team has won a conference championship - except for FSU that year with a lame 8-5 record. Instead of having this mid-season war to show the players that every game mattered, it showed them that it is easier to just try to get around the system.
• The last thing has to do with the New Orleans Saints. Way back in week 2, I said I thought the Saints were a team to watch out for. I wasn't alone. Gregg Easterbrook predicted a Saints/Colts Super Bowl before the season started. But a lot of sports people were seduced by other teams like the Giants and Cowboys and Falcons in the NFC and the Broncos and Jets in the AFC. Now the Saints are 11-0. If you had looked at their schedule early in the season, it would have been apparent their toughest opponents were going to be Philly, the Jets, the Giants, the Patriots, the Dolphins, and maybe the Falcons. They beat those teams by a combined score of 191 to 137. They have outscored their opponents 407-221. And their remaining games are against Washington, Atlanta, Dallas, the Bucs, and Carolina. Those five teams have a combined record of 22-33. Their only real test left is at home against the Cowboys. And, with the Vikings sporting a one loss record, the Saints can't take their foot off the gas like the Colts will. I like the Saints - they seem to enjoy playing. And you have to take into account the way that city gets behind them. The crowd was insane on Monday night. I still don't think anyone can go 16-0 this year, but it will be fun watching them try.

SFL WEEK 12 RECAP

• Bloodthirsty Ferrets has a major Achilles Heel. That would be their receivers. They are absolutely ridiculous. When Ted Ginn Jr. is your most consistent receiver, you have big trouble. They have a bunch of second and third option receivers playing. Not good. But it did help Monkey snap his losing streak.
• Absolutely brilliant pickup by the Tally Noles, in case you didn't notice. His biggest weakness for a long run through the playoffs was Peyton Manning. He'll get you there. But then he'll kill you once you are there. Instead of relying on Kyle Orton, he snagged Vince Young. And since the Titans could be fighting for the playoffs, it could be a big help for the Noles if they make the playoffs. Unfortunately, it was the only good move of the week for Tally as they got spanked by Formerly Known as Human Bye Week.
• Aside from the Stickboy vs Ugly Consequences match, the lower ranked team won each game. Weird. Lots of people were caught looking ahead, I guess.
• Talk about a great week for Gator Greats. By taking down the reeling Bad Counsel, Gators launched themselves into the 4th playoff spot. In two weeks they went from 7th to 4th. They had an enormous score. The big catch is what is going to happen with Matt Ryan, although they won without him this week. Bad Counsel is in trouble. They have fallen out of the playoffs and will have to hope for some help to get back in.
• Tampa Bay Rams helped to drag Da Bus further into the depths of the SFL. Now Busdriver is only a game out of the cellar. Rams still controls their own destiny to finish last, but at least there is going to be a challenge.
• Stickboy trailed the whole game against Ugly Consequences (AKA team that is good enough to be in 1st yet somehow ends up losing games they should win). Two weeks ago, Ugly found themselves in the same boat against Ferrets. And there was the same consequence this week. Even though the Pats played like Patsies, Maroney generated just enough to pull out the win for Stickdude.

SFL WEEK 13 PREVIEW

• There are some big games this weekend. Stickboy squares off the red hot Gator Greats. Sticky Boy basically has a two game lead on Ferrets, due to their 200 point difference. Gators needs to keep winning - with big scores - to secure a spot in the postseason.
• The Tally residents square off this week. Tally Noles is now in the 5th spot and in a horribly tough battle for the playoffs. Ferrets has lost two in a row and apparently is employing men without hands as receivers. Both teams need wins in the worst way.
• Monkey and BadCounsel are both trying to keep their small playoff hopes alive. The loser of this game can pretty much be assured of staying home for the holidays. 7th place with just one game left won't cut it.
• Steelas and Da Bus are battling for the cellar in waiting position. The loser will probably end up 9th - or maybe 10th with a little luck.
• Ugly Consequences and Tampa Bay Rams have very little in common. Ugly wants to stay in the 3rd spot so he can feast on Ferrets' sucky receiving corps for the playoffs. Rams are trying to stay in last so they can draft Colt McCoy next year.
• Just two weeks left before the playoffs! Can you feel the excitement? I can. Oh, wait, that was the taco talking back.

WEEK ELEVEN: Drinking Haterade

Bill Simmons wrote a great piece a couple weeks back about the loss of sports hate. He was saying that all sports fans understand the concept of sports hate. Eddie Gilley is a huge UF fan. So he hates FSU with a passion. Does he actually hate FSU or its players, coaches, or fans? No, but there is a sports hatred that does influence your approach to the school. Simmons was saying how a few years back he had three players he hated - Kobe Bryant, Peyton Manning, and A-Rod. But that this past year has really made his sports fan status override his sports hate for those players - they all answered the criticisms against them and became champions. He was mourning his loss of people to hate.

I can understand that. I have always hated Notre Dame. There is no logical reason for it. I just have hated them. So their downward spiral in sports was something I enjoyed greatly. But as I have grown up, I have realized that their downfall was largely due to their refusal to lower their standards for admission to allow the new generation of players access. They have a very high graduation rate. They are a good school. With most teams, we know that the grading systems are a suggestion when it comes to athletes. Schools find ways to get great athletes into their university. The only athletes who don't make it are SO bad they can't even fake it.

Take UCF, for example. UCF is a small player in the college sports world. They also probably don't have to bend the rules as much as, say, Alabama. But even at UCF look at the academic issues that have popped up. Daunte Culpepper miraculously is able to get his grades and tests high enough by his senior year to get into UCF - thanks to a tutor. Where that tutor came from or who paid for this magician was never explained. A couple years ago, UCF lost a half dozen players - including their starting QB - for a cheating scandal in some goofy music class. (Much like FSU's legendary music class that had athletes selling their books illegally.) Then there was Todd Cleveland. He played with Daunte and was one of the most amazing athletes I ever saw. His freshman year he touched the ball eight times and scored six. Kick returns. Punt returns. Long TD passes. Next year, he was a pre-season All American. Never played again. Why? He had a 0.25 GPA. Yes, that is correct. He got one D and three F's. Example of someone too dumb to even fake it.

So, Notre Dame doesn't play this game as much. And it hurts them. It minimizes the hatred I have for them. Sure, the golden helmets still get my blood racing. And I love watching Navy beat them. But it isn't the mighty arrogant Notre Dame any more. It is a more helpless team. I think the reason I still enjoyed the Notre Dame beatings was because Charlie Weis was such an insufferable prig. I liked seeing him get his comeuppance. Now, if they hired a nice respectable coach, it would be hard to still hate the Golden Domers.

I have seen this happen before. I used to loathe the Celtics, especially Larry Bird. By the end I had to give him his props. And I actually found myself rooting for the Celtics two years ago against those sons of guns on the friggin Lakers. I have hated UF with the fire of a thousand suns, going so far as to tell my children they are not allowed to become UF fans. But, between Tebow and Meyer and their amazing run the last four years, it is hard to hate them so much. Maybe it is only with the fire of fifty suns.

Just in case you were wondering what my hate list is, I would be glad to provide it. I tried to put it in some sort of gradient of hatred. I'm sure this will get some of you all ticked off. But, what did you want with a Hate List?

College Football

Miami, USC, Ohio State, Notre Dame, UF, Nick Saban, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Oregon's uniforms, Virginia Tech, George O'Leary

Pro Football Teams

Dolphins, Broncos, Redskins, Eagles, 49ers, Raiders

Pro Football Players

Ray Lewis, Chad Ochocinco, Shawne Merriman, Dan Marino, Terrell Owens, Randy Moss, Brett Favre, JaMarcus Russell, Jamal Lewis, John Elway (my hatred for Marino and Elway has not died down - it is still as strong as when they were playing)

Pro Football Coaches, Etc.

Jon Gruden, Rex Ryan, Bill Parcells, Daniel Snyder, Mike Shanahan, Don Shula

FOOTBALL THOUGHTS

• We're pretty much assured of this at this point - FSU will have the worst regular season record of all the major Florida schools. I doubt they will beat UF, which means they will end up 6-6. UF will be 12-0. UM will probably be 9-3 (if they beat USF). USF could end up 9-3 (if they beat UM and UCONN) or 7-5 (if they lose both - I think this is more likely). UCF will probably end up 8-4. All of them are going bowling. You have to admit, having five bowl bound teams from Florida is pretty freaking cool.
• UCF continues its roller coaster approach to football. O'Leary's records thus far (going backwards): 8-4, 4-8, 10-4, 4-8, 8-5, 0-11. Total record at UCF is 34-40. I want to be fair. O'Leary definitely earned the right to come back next year. They had a good season. Two of their losses were to Miami and Texas - no shame there. They knocked off a ranked team. The two losses to East Carolina and Southern Miss are maddening. But 8-4 doesn't deserve a firing at UCF. But, if next year is another 4-8, he needs to get up and get gone.
• The AFC South is a really interesting division right about now. They could really wreck things for the other teams hoping for a Wild Card. Indy has basically wrapped up the division, with a four game lead and six to play. But the Jaguars have somehow scratched to a 6-4 record, the Texans are a strong 5-5, and the Titans have won four in a row. Right now the Jags are tied for the wild card with Pittsburgh and Denver. It is entirely possible for the South to score both wild cards, especially if Indy takes December off.
• I don't ask for much. But I really want to see Indy vs. New Orleans in the Super Bowl.
• Forget all the other stuff, the really important race is for first draft pick. Right now it has been distilled down to a three team race between the Browns, Rams, and Bucs. All those other sucky teams keep winning games. They just aren't committed to the prize. Cleveland still has games against Cincy, San Diego, Pittsburgh, and Jax - along with Oakland and KC. So two winnable games for the Chiefs. The Rams have Arizona, Chicago, Tennessee, San Fran, Seattle, and Houston. Four of those will be fighting for playoff spots. They easily could lose all of those. Tampa has the worst shot, I think. The only sure loss is New Orleans. They also have Carolina, Atlanta twice, Jets, and Seattle. They easily could slip up and win a few of those.
• The Bowl Projections are starting to take shape. There are so many boring matchups. I don't know how it happens every year. Northwestern vs. Auburn. FSU vs. Kentucky. UGA vs. Iowa State. Nevada vs. East Carolina. Middle Tennessee State vs. UCF. Ugh.

SFL WEEK 11 RECAP

• Worst Coaching Decision of the Year. Bill Belichick and the Pats are off the hook for their blunder against the Colts. The Bloodthirsty Ferrets made that call look brilliant. He kept Big Ben and Ricky Williams on the bench last week. 66 Points, riding pine. The upgrade over who he started was over 40 points. Props have to go to Gator Greats, though. He had a very strong week. Gators have won two in a row and have worked their way back into the playoff hunt - just one game out of 4th place.
• Stickboy won his fifth in a row over the anemic Da Bus. That victory, combined to Ferrets' getting killed by his own receivers, enabled Stickman to reclaim first place. He even had an "off day" for him and had the biggest blowout of the week.
• Tally Noles and Monkey continued to be polar opposites. Noles won their third straight and moved into the all important 4th place. It has been a good run for Tally - from near the bottom to playoff contention in three weeks. Monkey, on the other hand, lost their fifth straight and dropped to 7th in the league. His plummet is kind of confusing. His player are consistent. But they just don't seem to ever put up that jaw-dropping game that so many other teams have benefitted from.
• Ugly Consequences and Bad Counsel played a very close game - just a two point victory for Ugly. It was a come from behind win, with his two Texans providing 35 points on Monday night. The loss was costly for Bad Counsel, who dropped out of the 4th playoff spot. This week he has to fight off the charging Gators, too.
• And in the battle for the bottom, it was just very apparent that Tampa Bay Rams wanted it more. Both teams had six players in double figures and one score over 20. But Rams was luckily able to field four players with 5 or fewer points also. The amazing thing about TB Rams' six game slide and claiming the bottom spot is that it was done without playing inactive players like Steelas. He usually plays a full roster, unlike Steeltown who puts up at least one guy in street clothes. That's commitment.

SFL WEEK 12 PREVIEW

• We have some pretty big matchups this week. The Gator Greats and Bad Counsel throwdown could kill the playoff chances for either team. A loss for Gators would put them 2 games back, basically eliminating them. A loss for Bad Counsel would drop them into 6th, losing on points to Gators. Ferrets has to get past the reeling Monkey. Stickboy and Ugly Consequences square off in a battle of probable playoff teams. And Tally Noles can solidify their hold on spot 4 with a victory over Steelas.
• Last week we looked at how team rosters would look come playoff time. (Did you notice Favre got benched late this past week to keep him healthy? It's already starting. And the Colts have a THREE GAME LEAD for home field advantage.) This week I wanted to look at schedules for the rest of the year.
• STICKBOY - Current record 9-2 - Remaining Opponent Records 16-17 ---- The opponent records don't reflect the hardness of the games left. He plays Ugly Consequences, who is still able to hang 200 points on anyone. Then he plays the charging defending champ Gators. And then his longtime, but reeling, nemesis Monkey.
• FERRETS - Current record 9-2 - Remaining Opponent Records 16-17 ---- Even though the remaining record is the same as Stickboy, Ferrets has a slightly easier road. True, he has to play two teams battling for a playoff spot (Noles and Counsel), but he also gets Monkey. And Noles and Counsel are two of the teams most at risk for end-of-year player benching.
• UGLY CONSEQUENCES - Current record 7-4 - Remaining Opponent Records 14-19 ---- After playing Stickboy, Ugly Consequences can rest his starters. He plays both cellar dwellers (Steelas and Tampa Bay Rams). His spot in the playoffs is all but assured.
• TALLY NOLES - Current record 6-5 - Remaining Opponent Records 16-17 ---- Noles' remaining record is also kind of deceiving. He plays Bloodthirsty Ferrets next week. But his other two opponents are Da Bus and Steelas. He is great shape to claim that last playoff spot, as long as his team keeps up the consistent play.
• BAD COUNSEL - Current record 6-5 - Remaining Opponent Records 18-15 ---- Bad Counsel is in a little bit of bad shape. He's the most in danger of player attrition at the end of the year. And he has one of the harder remaining records. First he plays a must-win game against Gator Greats. Then he travels to 2nd place to Ferrets. He finishes with Monkey. It won't be an easy ending.
• GATOR GREATS - Current record 5-6 - Remaining Opponent Records 17-16 ----- Gator Greats also has a rough road to the last playoff spot. He has the must-win with Bad Counsel. Then he has to play league leader Stickboy. He does get to finish with Tampa Bay Rams, though. At this point, every game is a must win for Gators. Two of those are going to be tough to secure.
• MONKEY - Current record 4-7 - Remaining Opponent Records 24-9 ----- Poor guy can't catch a break. He's lost five straight. He'll miss the playoffs for the first time ever in the SFL. And he has to finish against #2 Ferrets, #5 Counsel, and #1 Stickboy. The road to the playoffs go through Monkey. Or over him.
• DA BUS - Current record 4-7 - Remaining Opponent Records 11-22 ---- On the flip side, Da Bus gets the easiest record of them all. If he could have just pulled together a few more wins, then this could be his way to ice a playoff appearance. He gets both Tampa Bay Rams and Steelas, and then finishes with Tally Noles. The last game could be tough, with Noles trying to get a final spot in the playoffs, or easy, if all the Noles have already checked out.
• STEELAS - Current record 3-8 - Remaining Opponent Records 17-16 ---- Noles. Da Bus. Ugly Consequences. Not an easy road. But, does it really matter?
• TAMPA BAY RAMS - Current record 2-9 - Remaining Opponent Records 16-17 --- Da Bus, Ugly Consequences, Gator Greats. Even a 1-2 record should secure another last place finish.

WEEK TEN: Legal Problem

So there is this law firm. It is a very well known law firm in Washington DC. It isn't the oldest firm, but it has been consistently good. One of the reasons is that the senior partner helped the firm to emerge from the cloud of firms to reach a level of national prominence. For fifteen years, this firm was in the top five firms in America. It was able to pick from the best law students leaving school. It made tons of money - the really big money that comes with representing the biggest clients in the biggest trials. And the senior partner was well loved by his employees, respected by his clients, and admired by his adversaries. Even though the firm was named after its founders, there was no doubt that the firm was built by the great man.

One day, the senior partner decided he wanted his son to be named a partner as well. He had very little experience, and really didn't have what it took to be a high priced trial lawyer. But the senior partner was blinded by the love of the father. He put his son in charge of daily operations. Soon there were numerous problems surfacing. There were cases being mismanaged. The wrong lawyers were assigned to the wrong cases. Even the plan for how to run the trial was wrong. The firm's reputation began to take a beating. They lost some big cases. They no longer were getting the attention or accolades they were before. As a result, the firm started to have problems landing the best law students. They lost clients. They started losing money.

Finally the firm decided to fire the son. The senior partner got very angry. He took it as a personal attack. The great man also began to lose it - just a little bit at first. He wasn't able to win the big cases much any more. New technological advances were largely ignored. The firm started hemorrhaging clients, money, and lawyers. They still had their name. But the firm itself was slipping badly. The senior partner continued to cast his long shadow over the entire place, even though he had no idea what was going on. He didn't even recognize most of the lawyers working there - having handed over the daily operations to the junior partners. But he still insisted on determining the direction of the firm. And he still took the lead on big cases. Well, he at least looked like he had the lead. Truth is, he sat at the table most of the time and let everyone else do the heavy lifting.

The firm was in trouble. They were having trouble having enough lawyers to meet their case load. They got passed by several other firms in town. As a result, the firm just got content taking mid-level cases. They barely won as many trials as they lost. The old man got worse and worse. He had built the firm, but his hanging around was strangling it now. They had one large case. He stepped up his involvement and took a large role in the preparation and arguments. But in the press interviews after the case, he didn't remember who said what or when. He couldn't remember how the arguments had gone over. He knew they had lost, but didn't seem to understand why or how. He had been a legend. But he was now a liability - only no one had the nerve to tell the man. And, honestly, no one really knew what to do.

See, when you take his name off and change it to a law firm, it is pretty clear what is happening to FSU and Bowden.

FOOTBALL THOUGHTS:

• Bill Belichick is catching a lot of grief for his playcalling at the end of the Indy game on Sunday night. You've got the mainline sports guys wailing about how crappy the call was, how it showed no trust in his defense, how he was being arrogant. Then you have the more "troublemaking" sports guys defending it - saying it was gutsy and if they had gotten the two yards he would be hailed as a genius. Personally, I don't give a crap. You could make a case either way. We all have seen Peyton in the "no way I'm losing this game" mode before. He is going to score on your butt no matter what you do. Ask Miami from earlier this year. He was in that mode. And the Pats' D was sucking eggs. If they had wanted respect, maybe they should have stopped Manning. On the other hand, you're at the 28. That's playing with fire. I think Bill made the right call, but called the wrong play. It should have been a little longer to guarantee the first down. Faulk wasn't at the marker, even if he caught it.
• The Gators and the Saints are going through a similar issue right now. Both teams are winning, but they are winning ugly. So everyone assumes that they aren't really that good. They get seduced by TCU and Boise State whipping up on Idaho and Portland State and Guadalupe School for Boys. So suddenly these undefeated teams lose respect. UF is 10-0, with an undefeated SEC record. That is freaking hard. Same thing for Bama and Texas. Going undefeated in the NCAA is hard - especially in the tough conferences. Just ask the Pac 10 - any time anyone gets close, they lose some dumb butt game. The same for the NFL. So the Saints have won some close games. But they won, and they are resilient. They won games they would have lost in other years. So does that mean they are overrated? Or is it that year when everything seems to fall in place?
• You know I have to do it. UCF! UCF! They won a game I was sure they would lose. You put a number in front of a team's name and that is kryptonite to most smaller schools. I was really happy they pulled it off. I wasn't so happy with them nearly giving up their 17 point lead. They were up 37-20 with 8:30 left. The final was 37-32. I saw the 37-20 score and started saying how exciting it was they would win. Heather looked at me and goes, "Don't jinx it." That's a UCF family right there. I joked they gave O'Leary a contract extension after the game. Then I realized that was very very sad because it could be true.
• I have consistently underestimated the Bengals all year. In my survival league, I got knocked out by back to back Bengals bungles. And, even though I have their D in the SFL, they ride my bench. I guess I should start realizing they may actually be good.
• USC is just one of those teams that I love seeing get tripped up. They need a good come-uppance. And this year was one heck of one.
• Have you looked at the BCS Standings? In the top 10, there are 3 SEC teams, 2 Big East, 1 ACC, 1 Big 12, 1 Big 10, 1 WAC, 1 Mountain West. No PAC 10. I don't think I've ever seen anything like that before. It's also funny how everyone a few years ago was trying to strip the Big East of their BCS spot - saying they had no chance to field competitive teams.

SFL WEEK 10 RECAP:

• Week 10 went against the grain this week, with a complete lack of close matchups. The games were decided by 14, 22, 22, 27, and 92 points. With the exception of Monkey vs Gator Greats, the higher ranked team won each game. It was a pretty rare week for the SFL.
• 92 points. Yes, Tally Noles beat Tampa Bay Rams by 92 points. Noles finally had a huge week when his opponent didn't have a bigger week. Huge performances by Peyton Manning, Sidney Rice, Reggie Bush, Reggie Wayne, Joseph Addai - and the Non Active Dwayne Bowe. The Rams, on the other hand, have Drew Brees. That's all.
• The closest matchup all day was between the 8-2 Stickboy and 2-8 Steelas. The Human Bye Week gave Stickman all he could handle. Here's the thing to think about. Steelas has Darren Sproles riding his pine every week, while he starts the inactive Anthony Gonzalez. How many games could he have won if he made that one change?
• Gator Greats had to win that game and he did. Monkey seems to be impersonating the New York Giants, losing four in a row. They now are in a tie, with the points scored breaking the tie. It is hard to tell why Monkey is struggling so badly. His point scored is fine - 4th in the league. It just seems to be a run of bad luck - injuries and by weeks and such.
• Bad Counsel continued his strong run of late, beating up on Da Bus. BusDriver is probably out of the playoff hunt at this point. Even though he is only two games out, his low point total is going to keep him from winning any tiebreakers. Counsel, on the other hand, has gotten into a tie for 3rd with Ugly Consequences. This is good for him - he doesn't want to end up tied for 4th with anyone (like Tally Noles). His relatively low point total will also hurt him in a tie.
• It was pretty scary for a while for SFL leader Bloodthirsty Ferrets against Ugly Consequences. Ugly was winning up to the Sunday night game, when Tom Brady helped push the Ferrets ahead for good. Ferrets is like the New Orleans Saints of the SFL. His team is really not that impressive and he doesn't win big often. He just happens to luck out and play teams on their down week. Consequences was tearing through the SFL for the last month. This week he only scored 99 points. Lucky Ferret.

SFL WEEK 11 PREVIEW:

• Trade Deadline is Friday. Just letting you know.
• Instead of doing my traditional preview, I wanted to look at the playoff race and see how the teams are set up for a potential playoff run. Going 12-1 in the regular season is hardly a guarantee of postseason success. Let me explain. Bloodthirsty Ferrets one year went through the regular season undefeated. 15-0. It was something to behold. This was back when the Kansas City Chiefs were one of the powers of the NFL. Well, Ferrets had stocked their team with Chiefs. Priest Holmes, Tony Gonzalez, Dante Hall, Johnnie Morton. Then Holmes got dinged up, and the Chiefs rested their starters on the way to the real playoffs. What happened? Ferrets got knocked out in the first round of the playoffs. So, there is a difference. How will your team do in weeks 16 and 17? Let's look.
• Bloodthirsty Ferrets - Currently 1st place (9-1) - Late Term Dangers: Tom Brady -- The team is surprisingly well built for the long haul. Brady is the only player whose team will have wrapped up the division early. But Ferrets also has Big Ben on the big bench. The Steelers are in a dogfight with the Bengals, so they won't let up at all. Ferrets also has big players from the Packers, Jets, Cardinals, Dolphins, Panthers. They all should be playing hard - trying to get into the playoffs. No players from potential tanking teams either. Playoff Strength: Very Good
• Stickboy - Currently 2nd place (8-2) - Late Term Dangers: Pierre Thomas -- Another strongly built team. The biggest positions are filled with teams making a late season surge (Titans, Jaguars) or who are stumbling and trying to stay afloat (Packers, Giants, Eagles). Only one tanking player - Terrell Owens - who is usually parked on the bench anyway. Playoff Strength: Very Good
• Ugly Consequences - Currently 3rd place (6-4) - Late Term Dangers: Minny's D, Calvin Johnson -- There are a couple of question marks here, but mostly the team is just as well built as the top two. It is doubtful the Bengals, Chargers, Cardinals, or Broncos will wrap up anything too early. The Falcons, Cowboys, Texans, Ravens are all fighting for spots. Minny will wrap up the North soon, but their Defense won't stop playing. Biggest question is Calvin Johnson. Will the Lions tank at the end to improve draft spot? Or is that dangerous to a team with a legacy of losing? Playoff Strength: Very Good
• BadCounsel - Currently 4th place (6-4) - Late Term Dangers: Brett Favre, Randy Moss, Joshua Cribbs, Danny Amendola, N.O. D -- Bad Counsel is in the classic quandary. He has some great players he wants to start. But he has a ton of players on teams with a huge division lead, or who will be tanking for the draft. Favre will be playing limited action toward the end, probably, to save him from injuries. (Backup Kurt Warner is strong, though.) Randy Moss will probably sit out week 17. New Orleans D is in the same boat as Minnesota's - can't stop playing, won't play as hard. Several players on the Browns, Rams are warning signs. Most of his backups are a pretty big dropoff from the starters. Playoff Strength: A Little Scary
• Tally Noles - Currently 5th place (5-5) - Late Term Dangers: Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne, Sidney Rice, Joseph Addai, Reggie Bush, Kevin Smith -- Tally Noles has the single player that makes this though process even necessary. Peyton Manning. He has killed more fantasy teams in the playoffs than anyone. The Colts shoot out to a huge undefeated record. Then he plays in weeks 13-17, but he doesn't play much. The drop off from Manning to Orton? ENORMOUS. Manning can win you games alone. In addition, the lineup is peppered with Colts, Vikes, Saints. And he even has a Lion, Chief, and Raider to hit the tankers too. Wow. Playoff Strength: Very Scary
• Monkey - Currently 6th place (4-6) - Late Term Dangers: Tony Romo, Brian Westbrook, Mike Bell, Patriots D -- Monkey is smart about building his team. He has won the SFL twice by avoiding the late season swoon. This year is pretty similar. Aside from a Saint and the Pats D (same as Vikes and Saints), Monkey is in good shape. His dangers are in Westbrook - who always gets injured late in the year (and is now) and Romo - who always sucks at the end of the year (and is now). No QB backup means that Monkey is hoping Romo shakes his late season trip to suckville. Playoff Strength: Good
• Gator Greats - Currently 7th place (4-6) - Late Term Dangers: Percy Harvin, Jamaal Charles, Fred Jackson, Steven Jackson, Jay Cutler -- Gators has been personally responsible for picking off the Ferrets late in the year on several trips to the playoffs. This year, though, Gators has more warning lights than usual. Harvin is on a Vikings team that will probably let up a little in December. He also has several draft pick tankers from the Chiefs, Rams, Bills. And he has Jay Cutler on his bench, who seems to be going crazy as the season goes on. Playoff Strength: A Little Scary
• Da Bus - Currently 8th place (4-6) - Late Term Dangers: Donovan McNabb, Marques Colston, Tomlinson, Marshawn Lynch, Kellen Winslow, Donald Brown -- Da Bus is peppered with players whose teams will be taking it easy (Colston, Brown), trying for top picks (Lynch, Winslow), getting hurt (Tomlinson), or choking in big games (McNabb). He is on the outside of playoff possibility anyway, but if he did make it, he would probably leave quickly. Playoff Strength: Very Scary
• Steelas - Currently 9th place (2-8) - Late Term Dangers: Wes Welker, Adrian Peterson, Dallas Clark, Matt Cassel, Visanthe Shiancoe -- At 2-8, playoff strength is irrelevant. If we are trying to decide who will finish last, then this becomes relevant. Steelas is great shape to tank at the end of the year. The players propping their team up won't be playing at the end (Welker, Peterson, Clark). And the team routinely starts a player who is out for the year. Cellar Strength: Very Good
• Tampa Bay Rams - Currently 10th place (2-8) - Late Term Dangers: Drew Brees, Pierre Garcon, Devery Henderson -- The Rams were built to finish the job. Once Drew Brees starts sitting out the second half, the Rams have no one to generate points. Cellar Strength: Excellent