Well, I guess the NFL will be ending its ridiculous lockout in a few days. And that means that we all are supposed to go running back and fall back in love with professional football. Personally, I was really conflicted about this. I am having a severe crisis of affection for the national sport. I was completely disgusted by the fight over EIGHT BILLION DOLLARS - especially at a time when so many were suffering. And, secondly, I am horrified as I find out more about the problems that come from head related injuries in football. Between the two, I have about had my fill with the NFL. As of about a week ago, I still had not decided if I was going to relaunch the Staples Football League.
If you want to know what really did, it was this. It is the TENTH YEAR of the SFL. That is a big accomplishment, to have a fake football league for that long. And, I couldn't stand the thought of disbanding the league right when we were hitting that anniversary. So, I relented and bought back in to the NFL crap. Here are some FAQs I'm sure you have.
1. How Do I Join This Fine League?
Good question. The link to the league is here. You should have received an email with the password. If not, let me know.
2. Is the Commish Actually Going to Post on His Blog This Year?
As always, yes. He will definitely post.
3. Is He Going to Post the Whole Year?
You know what, smart aleck? Why don't you come try to do this and stay home with three kids and run a ministry. See how well you post a weekly update on football read by AT MOST ten people. Ingrate.
4. Will the Winner Receive a Prize?
As with past years, the winner may be promised a prize. But they will not actually receive it.
5. Are All the Posts Going to Be Sanctimonious Griping Against the NFL Like Last Year?
Jackwagon. If you don't want to read the posts, go somewhere else. The internet is full of other things, like pictures of cats licking each other. Feel free to explore those options. Here's one to get you started.
6. You Seem Testy. Is It Your Time of Month?
I don't appreciate the tone this FAQ has taken.
7. Are There Any Surprises in Store for the Ten Year Celebration?
We are inviting some old teams to rejoin the league. And we are trying to book a big time celebrity to perform for our autopick draft. Final details are being worked out as we speak. I don't want to give away too much too soon, but her last name could be the answer to this question: "What do you call a residence that serves fermented grape juice." Pretty exciting stuff.
8. That Was Wrong, You Know That?
What? What are you talking about.
9. Anything Else You Want to Tell Us?
I hope you sign up. It will be epic. And even if the NFL turns your stomach, it doesn't mean you should neglect the virtual fellowship with other believers.
10. You Are Stupid. Anyone Ever Tell You That?
More people than I can count.
