WEEK FOURTEEN: I Still Suck

So, I my mouth makes a promise my butt can't cash. I distinctly said that I would be able to write a post this week. I missed last week and swore that I would be on the ball this week. Well, let me just give you a rundown of what happened since that last post.

• Friday - Pack for a weekend trip, pick up the kids, drive down to Tampa to see my mom and sister.
• Saturday - Spend the day with family. Games aren't played yet, anyway.
• Sunday - Drive back to Tallahassee. Pack my bags for my next trip. Watch maybe two minutes of football. Text a smack talk message to BadCounsel. Realize I had made a mistake. Try to backpeddle on my smack talk.
• Monday - Wake up to a flat tire. Get it fixed. Drive down to Orlando. Work on stuff for Defender whilst there. Go to bed.
• Tuesday - Spend nine hours writing. Get tired of being on the computer.
• Wednesday - Go to three meetings in Orlando. Drive all the way back. Feel rotten - hurting back and stomach. Go to bed early.
• Thursday - Finish up shopping, pick up kids, get stuff for party at Nat's school, write this whiny post.

So, there you have it. This is one of the first times I was even able to sit down and look at the SFL stuff to think about our post. Sure, I saw the results of the weekend. But I haven't been able to summon up some bologna to put on virtual paper. Here are some quick thoughts about the SFL playoffs.

• Hottest team in the SFL? Gator Greats. The team all but gave up about a two months ago. But then they went on a tear, winning five straight games and seven of nine. Their two losses were both by less than a point. The smallest win margin was 18 points. The average win was 29 points. And they beat Stickboy two weeks ago. AND, they beat Ferrets in both matchups this year (just looking forward to potential final game).
• Stickboy pulled in almost 100 points more than any other team. Quite simply, if they are running on all cylinders, they cannot be beat. Unless Gator Greats just keeps this insane fire going.
• Ugly Consequences has the potential to hang up an enormous number of points on people. But, somehow, they have lost both games to Bloodthirsty Ferrets. They didn't score 100 points in either game - the only two games they had under 100 points. Maybe the Ferrets are just in their head.
• Speaking of the Ferrets - they seem to be like the Cardinals last year. You almost scratch your head and wonder how the heck they got here, let alone finish 11-3. Their performances have never been very impressive, almost like Ohio State. But they don't inspire much confidence. Seriously, which quarterback is a sure fire start now? Big Ben or Brady? Are any of the receivers going to do diddly?
• Predictions: Stickboy 132, Gator Greats 141. Bloodthirsty Ferret 103, Ugly Consequences 131.

WEEK THIRTEEN: Bound to Happen

Well, it was bound to happen. I couldn't possibly have managed to actually update this every single week, could I? I knew it would happen. It is like when an NFL team is going for the undefeated season. It never is the game they should lose that takes them down, it is the one that they never should have lost. That's what happened. It wasn't Heather's exam week that knocked me out. It wasn't the week when I had a 103 fever. It was the week after all of the stress - the week when Heather was finally home for a month. I had no excuse. I had more free time than I have had since early this summer. There is no reason I would miss this week. And, yet, I did. Pretty pathetic.

By now, you know how last week played out in the NCAA, NFL, and SFL. The Gators lost, the BCS protected their big conference schools by matching TCU and Boise State in the worst big time bowl game ever, the Saints and Colts stayed undefeated, and the SFL moved one week closer to the playoffs. We are in our last regular season game. Stickboy and Bloodthirsty Ferrets are locked into the 1 and 2 slots. If Stickboy wins, he is #1. If he loses and Ferrets wins, Ferret is #1. If Ugly Consequences wins, he has the #3 slot. If he loses, it is mathematically possible for him to drop to #5 - but it would be an absolute miracle. If Gator Greats wins, he is in - probably as #4, unless Ugly loses and Gators wins and outscores Ugly by 28 points. Bad Counsel is in if he wins and Gator Greats loses. Tally Noles still has a slim chance, if both Gator and Counsel lose and Tally wins and outscores Gators by 90 points. Soooo, his chance of making the playoffs is about as good as Bobby Bowden's coming back as "Ambassador."

Got all that? Yeah, me neither. Next week, I will be back with a season recap and playoff preview. And in two weeks, we will have some SFL awards. So, sorry I blew it this week. I'll make it up to you next week.

WEEK TWELVE: Bunch of Crap

FOOTBALL THOUGHTS

• I found myself doing something I never thought I would on Saturday. I was rooting for UF. It happened subtly at first. When they scored on one drive, I went, "Yes!" Then I looked around and asked, "Why am I cheering for them?" The big thing is that UF is just not as easy to hate as before. You know, aside from the eye gouging and that they let Eddie Gilley roam the sidelines. The biggest thing is that I really like Tim Tebow. I like him as a person. I like him as a player. I hope that the Jaguars get him. (Not that I would saddle him with those losers.) He's the kind of player you want your team to have so you can cheer for him without feeling like a sellout. I hate how the media is into this backlash now. "Tebow is overrated. He only won the Heisman because Dixon got hurt. He's a media darling. Vince Young was better." I will say this, I have watched a lot of college football since 1979 - when I first remember watching the NCAA. I have seen a LOT of great players. Herschel Walker, Charlie Ward, Barry Sanders, David Klingler. But I think Tebow is the greatest college player I have ever seen. He may not have the passing records of a BYU stat inflator. He may have had a great defense to bail him out. But he has TWO national championship - with a good chance for a THIRD, THREE top five Heisman finishes (I'm assuming he'll at least be fifth), and the respect of a lot of people who know what they are talking about. I know as Christians we have a problem making Christian athletes out to be better than they are. "Heath Evans is the most underrated fullback in the NFL. Trent Dilfer was a Hall of Fame quarterback." We confuse the person with the player (see the Bowden item later). But in this case, I think the quality of his personhood makes him a better football player. I just enjoy watching him play - and even more hearing him talk. And think about the number of times Hebrews 12:1-2 got quoted in the national media since Saturday.
• What is with this Vince Young renaissance? It's like some movie villain got killed at the end of the first film and then got re-animated to haunt the second film. Like Agent Smith in the Matrix Trilogy. He is back without his former limitations. My brain can't even begin to understand that this is the same guy who had a nervous breakdown last year. At the end of that Cardinals game he was like Blue Steel.
• You know that the BCS bigwigs were very nervous on Saturday for most of that Alabama/Auburn game. It was the worst case scenario coming to pass. If Alabama had lost, and then beaten Florida in the SEC title game, TCU would be in the BCS title game. Then if Texas had lost to Nebraska, it would be TCU vs. Cincy or Boise State. Also would have been known as the "Crappiest Title Game Ever." Ah, well. We can still hope Texas loses and TCU worms its way in there.
• Georgia had an absolutely horrible season. I have been embarrassed as a person with affection for that team. So, can one game make up for the season? No. Definitely not. But it still was fun to screw over Tech. Hahaha. And more proof that the SEC is basically the NFL's true developmental league.
• USF. Sigh. Here is something very disturbing I have noticed about the Bulls. They do amazing things in the first half of the year. They beat ranked team, upset perennial powerhouses, make all kinds of waves. But then they kind of stagger through the second half and end up in some lame-butt bowl like the St. Petersburg Bowl. It happens every year. Five straight bowl appearances is impressive. It would be more impressive if it was a Bowl not named after a city or a car part. And with the way FSU sucked this year, it kind of minimizes the USF victory. They need to focus on staying the course.
• Congrats to my Golden Knights. 8-4 is impressive for that team, especially when no one expected that this year. They have proven resilient, won some close games, beaten a ranked team. I hope they can build on this. And I hope they enjoy playing in their bowl game. Even though it is, sigh, the lame butt St. Petersburg Bowl. This is what happens when you play in Conference USA.
• I am personally thrilled about the attention concussions has gotten this year in the NFL. And the safety steps they are taking is great progress. There was some question as to if Big Ben and Kurt Warner should have been sat out - which shows how far we still have to go to change our mindset regarding football. I'm glad they sat. And when they can remember their kids' names (the ones they know about), they will be glad they sat too.
• Something needs to happen to the Jaguars. I know they aren't as bad as the Browns and Redskins. But they are slowly getting into dangerous territory. Two years ago, they were a couple of plays away from the Super Bowl. Now they barely beat the crappiest teams in the NFL and get whipped by anyone with a winning record. Their ticket sales are terrible. I hate to see them go, but that's a franchise that would probably benefit from a Ravens-style reboot. Move them to London and let them start over. The London Jaguars. Or the San Antonio Chupacabras. Just not L.A.
• Small B-ball note: I finally finished Bill Simmons' Book of Basketball this weekend. I consider that a huge accomplishment. 702 pages. I feel like my knowledge of basketball has probably doubled since I started the book. Seriously. And, honestly, I think I enjoy the game more now. (Doesn't hurt that the Magic are doing well.) I wish it was feasible to do a football book like that, but there is no way. It would be 4000 pages.
• Do you remember a worse slate of Thanksgiving games? I knew going in they would be ugly. I just hoped the night game would be the saving grace. No such luck.
• I had an idea to help Notre Dame. They need something to bring them some attention. Since they refuse to play in a conference, and since they get special rules and treatment from the NCAA, we could pull this off. What about each year they switch to a different conference, just for football and just for one year? Tell me that wouldn't be fun. The first year, they can do the Big Ten, since that is basically what they are anyway. Then they can switch to the Big East, which is their basketball conference. Then the Pac 10, since they play them a lot. Then it gets fun - ACC, C-USA, SEC, , WAC, BIG 12, Mountain West. Every other year they could rule the roost and get a sweet BCS invite by rocking the Boise States and BYU's and UCF's of the world. Then they would have one year where they just get their arses handed to them - go like 2-10 against the SEC. They could keep their out of conference games against the military schools, to give them some easy games. But that would be a true independent. They would have to learn to recruit to play any style. Within a few years, they could become this monster team that could beat anyone. Or they would be miserable manhandled on a yearly basis. Either way would be fun to watch.
• I've been pretty vocal in my desire to see Bowden retire. And now that he did, it isn't as much of a happy feeling as I hoped it would be. Part of it is that once you strip away Incompetent Team Killing Bobby, you are left with Nice Old Man Bobby. That and all the pundits who were clamoring for his head last week now are chastising those who pushed out the Old Man. The truth of the matter that cannot be denied is that the person most responsible for how this ended for Bobby Bowden is Bobby Bowden. In 2002 he made an agreement with the school that he would leave before he lost his ability to coach. He has had eight seasons to do that. And he has insisted that "last year was just a glitch" and come back. He could have left like Vince Dooley at UGA and become Athletic Director. He could have dropped down to an assistant to Jimbo Fisher. He could have done something to admit he was not the same. But he didn't. Now he is like Tom Landry, a nice old man tossed out on the street after he built the building. I feel bad for him. But this could have been avoided.
• The other thing I truly believe that hurt FSU was the decision by FSU and UM to switch their game to opening weekend. Both teams got tired of watching their title hopes go down in flames in October. They realized losing early to a quality team allows you time to recover and weasel into the BCS by the end. This decision was made in 2004. Since then, neither team has been a player in the title chase. Neither team has won a conference championship - except for FSU that year with a lame 8-5 record. Instead of having this mid-season war to show the players that every game mattered, it showed them that it is easier to just try to get around the system.
• The last thing has to do with the New Orleans Saints. Way back in week 2, I said I thought the Saints were a team to watch out for. I wasn't alone. Gregg Easterbrook predicted a Saints/Colts Super Bowl before the season started. But a lot of sports people were seduced by other teams like the Giants and Cowboys and Falcons in the NFC and the Broncos and Jets in the AFC. Now the Saints are 11-0. If you had looked at their schedule early in the season, it would have been apparent their toughest opponents were going to be Philly, the Jets, the Giants, the Patriots, the Dolphins, and maybe the Falcons. They beat those teams by a combined score of 191 to 137. They have outscored their opponents 407-221. And their remaining games are against Washington, Atlanta, Dallas, the Bucs, and Carolina. Those five teams have a combined record of 22-33. Their only real test left is at home against the Cowboys. And, with the Vikings sporting a one loss record, the Saints can't take their foot off the gas like the Colts will. I like the Saints - they seem to enjoy playing. And you have to take into account the way that city gets behind them. The crowd was insane on Monday night. I still don't think anyone can go 16-0 this year, but it will be fun watching them try.

SFL WEEK 12 RECAP

• Bloodthirsty Ferrets has a major Achilles Heel. That would be their receivers. They are absolutely ridiculous. When Ted Ginn Jr. is your most consistent receiver, you have big trouble. They have a bunch of second and third option receivers playing. Not good. But it did help Monkey snap his losing streak.
• Absolutely brilliant pickup by the Tally Noles, in case you didn't notice. His biggest weakness for a long run through the playoffs was Peyton Manning. He'll get you there. But then he'll kill you once you are there. Instead of relying on Kyle Orton, he snagged Vince Young. And since the Titans could be fighting for the playoffs, it could be a big help for the Noles if they make the playoffs. Unfortunately, it was the only good move of the week for Tally as they got spanked by Formerly Known as Human Bye Week.
• Aside from the Stickboy vs Ugly Consequences match, the lower ranked team won each game. Weird. Lots of people were caught looking ahead, I guess.
• Talk about a great week for Gator Greats. By taking down the reeling Bad Counsel, Gators launched themselves into the 4th playoff spot. In two weeks they went from 7th to 4th. They had an enormous score. The big catch is what is going to happen with Matt Ryan, although they won without him this week. Bad Counsel is in trouble. They have fallen out of the playoffs and will have to hope for some help to get back in.
• Tampa Bay Rams helped to drag Da Bus further into the depths of the SFL. Now Busdriver is only a game out of the cellar. Rams still controls their own destiny to finish last, but at least there is going to be a challenge.
• Stickboy trailed the whole game against Ugly Consequences (AKA team that is good enough to be in 1st yet somehow ends up losing games they should win). Two weeks ago, Ugly found themselves in the same boat against Ferrets. And there was the same consequence this week. Even though the Pats played like Patsies, Maroney generated just enough to pull out the win for Stickdude.

SFL WEEK 13 PREVIEW

• There are some big games this weekend. Stickboy squares off the red hot Gator Greats. Sticky Boy basically has a two game lead on Ferrets, due to their 200 point difference. Gators needs to keep winning - with big scores - to secure a spot in the postseason.
• The Tally residents square off this week. Tally Noles is now in the 5th spot and in a horribly tough battle for the playoffs. Ferrets has lost two in a row and apparently is employing men without hands as receivers. Both teams need wins in the worst way.
• Monkey and BadCounsel are both trying to keep their small playoff hopes alive. The loser of this game can pretty much be assured of staying home for the holidays. 7th place with just one game left won't cut it.
• Steelas and Da Bus are battling for the cellar in waiting position. The loser will probably end up 9th - or maybe 10th with a little luck.
• Ugly Consequences and Tampa Bay Rams have very little in common. Ugly wants to stay in the 3rd spot so he can feast on Ferrets' sucky receiving corps for the playoffs. Rams are trying to stay in last so they can draft Colt McCoy next year.
• Just two weeks left before the playoffs! Can you feel the excitement? I can. Oh, wait, that was the taco talking back.

WEEK ELEVEN: Drinking Haterade

Bill Simmons wrote a great piece a couple weeks back about the loss of sports hate. He was saying that all sports fans understand the concept of sports hate. Eddie Gilley is a huge UF fan. So he hates FSU with a passion. Does he actually hate FSU or its players, coaches, or fans? No, but there is a sports hatred that does influence your approach to the school. Simmons was saying how a few years back he had three players he hated - Kobe Bryant, Peyton Manning, and A-Rod. But that this past year has really made his sports fan status override his sports hate for those players - they all answered the criticisms against them and became champions. He was mourning his loss of people to hate.

I can understand that. I have always hated Notre Dame. There is no logical reason for it. I just have hated them. So their downward spiral in sports was something I enjoyed greatly. But as I have grown up, I have realized that their downfall was largely due to their refusal to lower their standards for admission to allow the new generation of players access. They have a very high graduation rate. They are a good school. With most teams, we know that the grading systems are a suggestion when it comes to athletes. Schools find ways to get great athletes into their university. The only athletes who don't make it are SO bad they can't even fake it.

Take UCF, for example. UCF is a small player in the college sports world. They also probably don't have to bend the rules as much as, say, Alabama. But even at UCF look at the academic issues that have popped up. Daunte Culpepper miraculously is able to get his grades and tests high enough by his senior year to get into UCF - thanks to a tutor. Where that tutor came from or who paid for this magician was never explained. A couple years ago, UCF lost a half dozen players - including their starting QB - for a cheating scandal in some goofy music class. (Much like FSU's legendary music class that had athletes selling their books illegally.) Then there was Todd Cleveland. He played with Daunte and was one of the most amazing athletes I ever saw. His freshman year he touched the ball eight times and scored six. Kick returns. Punt returns. Long TD passes. Next year, he was a pre-season All American. Never played again. Why? He had a 0.25 GPA. Yes, that is correct. He got one D and three F's. Example of someone too dumb to even fake it.

So, Notre Dame doesn't play this game as much. And it hurts them. It minimizes the hatred I have for them. Sure, the golden helmets still get my blood racing. And I love watching Navy beat them. But it isn't the mighty arrogant Notre Dame any more. It is a more helpless team. I think the reason I still enjoyed the Notre Dame beatings was because Charlie Weis was such an insufferable prig. I liked seeing him get his comeuppance. Now, if they hired a nice respectable coach, it would be hard to still hate the Golden Domers.

I have seen this happen before. I used to loathe the Celtics, especially Larry Bird. By the end I had to give him his props. And I actually found myself rooting for the Celtics two years ago against those sons of guns on the friggin Lakers. I have hated UF with the fire of a thousand suns, going so far as to tell my children they are not allowed to become UF fans. But, between Tebow and Meyer and their amazing run the last four years, it is hard to hate them so much. Maybe it is only with the fire of fifty suns.

Just in case you were wondering what my hate list is, I would be glad to provide it. I tried to put it in some sort of gradient of hatred. I'm sure this will get some of you all ticked off. But, what did you want with a Hate List?

College Football

Miami, USC, Ohio State, Notre Dame, UF, Nick Saban, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Oregon's uniforms, Virginia Tech, George O'Leary

Pro Football Teams

Dolphins, Broncos, Redskins, Eagles, 49ers, Raiders

Pro Football Players

Ray Lewis, Chad Ochocinco, Shawne Merriman, Dan Marino, Terrell Owens, Randy Moss, Brett Favre, JaMarcus Russell, Jamal Lewis, John Elway (my hatred for Marino and Elway has not died down - it is still as strong as when they were playing)

Pro Football Coaches, Etc.

Jon Gruden, Rex Ryan, Bill Parcells, Daniel Snyder, Mike Shanahan, Don Shula

FOOTBALL THOUGHTS

• We're pretty much assured of this at this point - FSU will have the worst regular season record of all the major Florida schools. I doubt they will beat UF, which means they will end up 6-6. UF will be 12-0. UM will probably be 9-3 (if they beat USF). USF could end up 9-3 (if they beat UM and UCONN) or 7-5 (if they lose both - I think this is more likely). UCF will probably end up 8-4. All of them are going bowling. You have to admit, having five bowl bound teams from Florida is pretty freaking cool.
• UCF continues its roller coaster approach to football. O'Leary's records thus far (going backwards): 8-4, 4-8, 10-4, 4-8, 8-5, 0-11. Total record at UCF is 34-40. I want to be fair. O'Leary definitely earned the right to come back next year. They had a good season. Two of their losses were to Miami and Texas - no shame there. They knocked off a ranked team. The two losses to East Carolina and Southern Miss are maddening. But 8-4 doesn't deserve a firing at UCF. But, if next year is another 4-8, he needs to get up and get gone.
• The AFC South is a really interesting division right about now. They could really wreck things for the other teams hoping for a Wild Card. Indy has basically wrapped up the division, with a four game lead and six to play. But the Jaguars have somehow scratched to a 6-4 record, the Texans are a strong 5-5, and the Titans have won four in a row. Right now the Jags are tied for the wild card with Pittsburgh and Denver. It is entirely possible for the South to score both wild cards, especially if Indy takes December off.
• I don't ask for much. But I really want to see Indy vs. New Orleans in the Super Bowl.
• Forget all the other stuff, the really important race is for first draft pick. Right now it has been distilled down to a three team race between the Browns, Rams, and Bucs. All those other sucky teams keep winning games. They just aren't committed to the prize. Cleveland still has games against Cincy, San Diego, Pittsburgh, and Jax - along with Oakland and KC. So two winnable games for the Chiefs. The Rams have Arizona, Chicago, Tennessee, San Fran, Seattle, and Houston. Four of those will be fighting for playoff spots. They easily could lose all of those. Tampa has the worst shot, I think. The only sure loss is New Orleans. They also have Carolina, Atlanta twice, Jets, and Seattle. They easily could slip up and win a few of those.
• The Bowl Projections are starting to take shape. There are so many boring matchups. I don't know how it happens every year. Northwestern vs. Auburn. FSU vs. Kentucky. UGA vs. Iowa State. Nevada vs. East Carolina. Middle Tennessee State vs. UCF. Ugh.

SFL WEEK 11 RECAP

• Worst Coaching Decision of the Year. Bill Belichick and the Pats are off the hook for their blunder against the Colts. The Bloodthirsty Ferrets made that call look brilliant. He kept Big Ben and Ricky Williams on the bench last week. 66 Points, riding pine. The upgrade over who he started was over 40 points. Props have to go to Gator Greats, though. He had a very strong week. Gators have won two in a row and have worked their way back into the playoff hunt - just one game out of 4th place.
• Stickboy won his fifth in a row over the anemic Da Bus. That victory, combined to Ferrets' getting killed by his own receivers, enabled Stickman to reclaim first place. He even had an "off day" for him and had the biggest blowout of the week.
• Tally Noles and Monkey continued to be polar opposites. Noles won their third straight and moved into the all important 4th place. It has been a good run for Tally - from near the bottom to playoff contention in three weeks. Monkey, on the other hand, lost their fifth straight and dropped to 7th in the league. His plummet is kind of confusing. His player are consistent. But they just don't seem to ever put up that jaw-dropping game that so many other teams have benefitted from.
• Ugly Consequences and Bad Counsel played a very close game - just a two point victory for Ugly. It was a come from behind win, with his two Texans providing 35 points on Monday night. The loss was costly for Bad Counsel, who dropped out of the 4th playoff spot. This week he has to fight off the charging Gators, too.
• And in the battle for the bottom, it was just very apparent that Tampa Bay Rams wanted it more. Both teams had six players in double figures and one score over 20. But Rams was luckily able to field four players with 5 or fewer points also. The amazing thing about TB Rams' six game slide and claiming the bottom spot is that it was done without playing inactive players like Steelas. He usually plays a full roster, unlike Steeltown who puts up at least one guy in street clothes. That's commitment.

SFL WEEK 12 PREVIEW

• We have some pretty big matchups this week. The Gator Greats and Bad Counsel throwdown could kill the playoff chances for either team. A loss for Gators would put them 2 games back, basically eliminating them. A loss for Bad Counsel would drop them into 6th, losing on points to Gators. Ferrets has to get past the reeling Monkey. Stickboy and Ugly Consequences square off in a battle of probable playoff teams. And Tally Noles can solidify their hold on spot 4 with a victory over Steelas.
• Last week we looked at how team rosters would look come playoff time. (Did you notice Favre got benched late this past week to keep him healthy? It's already starting. And the Colts have a THREE GAME LEAD for home field advantage.) This week I wanted to look at schedules for the rest of the year.
• STICKBOY - Current record 9-2 - Remaining Opponent Records 16-17 ---- The opponent records don't reflect the hardness of the games left. He plays Ugly Consequences, who is still able to hang 200 points on anyone. Then he plays the charging defending champ Gators. And then his longtime, but reeling, nemesis Monkey.
• FERRETS - Current record 9-2 - Remaining Opponent Records 16-17 ---- Even though the remaining record is the same as Stickboy, Ferrets has a slightly easier road. True, he has to play two teams battling for a playoff spot (Noles and Counsel), but he also gets Monkey. And Noles and Counsel are two of the teams most at risk for end-of-year player benching.
• UGLY CONSEQUENCES - Current record 7-4 - Remaining Opponent Records 14-19 ---- After playing Stickboy, Ugly Consequences can rest his starters. He plays both cellar dwellers (Steelas and Tampa Bay Rams). His spot in the playoffs is all but assured.
• TALLY NOLES - Current record 6-5 - Remaining Opponent Records 16-17 ---- Noles' remaining record is also kind of deceiving. He plays Bloodthirsty Ferrets next week. But his other two opponents are Da Bus and Steelas. He is great shape to claim that last playoff spot, as long as his team keeps up the consistent play.
• BAD COUNSEL - Current record 6-5 - Remaining Opponent Records 18-15 ---- Bad Counsel is in a little bit of bad shape. He's the most in danger of player attrition at the end of the year. And he has one of the harder remaining records. First he plays a must-win game against Gator Greats. Then he travels to 2nd place to Ferrets. He finishes with Monkey. It won't be an easy ending.
• GATOR GREATS - Current record 5-6 - Remaining Opponent Records 17-16 ----- Gator Greats also has a rough road to the last playoff spot. He has the must-win with Bad Counsel. Then he has to play league leader Stickboy. He does get to finish with Tampa Bay Rams, though. At this point, every game is a must win for Gators. Two of those are going to be tough to secure.
• MONKEY - Current record 4-7 - Remaining Opponent Records 24-9 ----- Poor guy can't catch a break. He's lost five straight. He'll miss the playoffs for the first time ever in the SFL. And he has to finish against #2 Ferrets, #5 Counsel, and #1 Stickboy. The road to the playoffs go through Monkey. Or over him.
• DA BUS - Current record 4-7 - Remaining Opponent Records 11-22 ---- On the flip side, Da Bus gets the easiest record of them all. If he could have just pulled together a few more wins, then this could be his way to ice a playoff appearance. He gets both Tampa Bay Rams and Steelas, and then finishes with Tally Noles. The last game could be tough, with Noles trying to get a final spot in the playoffs, or easy, if all the Noles have already checked out.
• STEELAS - Current record 3-8 - Remaining Opponent Records 17-16 ---- Noles. Da Bus. Ugly Consequences. Not an easy road. But, does it really matter?
• TAMPA BAY RAMS - Current record 2-9 - Remaining Opponent Records 16-17 --- Da Bus, Ugly Consequences, Gator Greats. Even a 1-2 record should secure another last place finish.

WEEK TEN: Legal Problem

So there is this law firm. It is a very well known law firm in Washington DC. It isn't the oldest firm, but it has been consistently good. One of the reasons is that the senior partner helped the firm to emerge from the cloud of firms to reach a level of national prominence. For fifteen years, this firm was in the top five firms in America. It was able to pick from the best law students leaving school. It made tons of money - the really big money that comes with representing the biggest clients in the biggest trials. And the senior partner was well loved by his employees, respected by his clients, and admired by his adversaries. Even though the firm was named after its founders, there was no doubt that the firm was built by the great man.

One day, the senior partner decided he wanted his son to be named a partner as well. He had very little experience, and really didn't have what it took to be a high priced trial lawyer. But the senior partner was blinded by the love of the father. He put his son in charge of daily operations. Soon there were numerous problems surfacing. There were cases being mismanaged. The wrong lawyers were assigned to the wrong cases. Even the plan for how to run the trial was wrong. The firm's reputation began to take a beating. They lost some big cases. They no longer were getting the attention or accolades they were before. As a result, the firm started to have problems landing the best law students. They lost clients. They started losing money.

Finally the firm decided to fire the son. The senior partner got very angry. He took it as a personal attack. The great man also began to lose it - just a little bit at first. He wasn't able to win the big cases much any more. New technological advances were largely ignored. The firm started hemorrhaging clients, money, and lawyers. They still had their name. But the firm itself was slipping badly. The senior partner continued to cast his long shadow over the entire place, even though he had no idea what was going on. He didn't even recognize most of the lawyers working there - having handed over the daily operations to the junior partners. But he still insisted on determining the direction of the firm. And he still took the lead on big cases. Well, he at least looked like he had the lead. Truth is, he sat at the table most of the time and let everyone else do the heavy lifting.

The firm was in trouble. They were having trouble having enough lawyers to meet their case load. They got passed by several other firms in town. As a result, the firm just got content taking mid-level cases. They barely won as many trials as they lost. The old man got worse and worse. He had built the firm, but his hanging around was strangling it now. They had one large case. He stepped up his involvement and took a large role in the preparation and arguments. But in the press interviews after the case, he didn't remember who said what or when. He couldn't remember how the arguments had gone over. He knew they had lost, but didn't seem to understand why or how. He had been a legend. But he was now a liability - only no one had the nerve to tell the man. And, honestly, no one really knew what to do.

See, when you take his name off and change it to a law firm, it is pretty clear what is happening to FSU and Bowden.

FOOTBALL THOUGHTS:

• Bill Belichick is catching a lot of grief for his playcalling at the end of the Indy game on Sunday night. You've got the mainline sports guys wailing about how crappy the call was, how it showed no trust in his defense, how he was being arrogant. Then you have the more "troublemaking" sports guys defending it - saying it was gutsy and if they had gotten the two yards he would be hailed as a genius. Personally, I don't give a crap. You could make a case either way. We all have seen Peyton in the "no way I'm losing this game" mode before. He is going to score on your butt no matter what you do. Ask Miami from earlier this year. He was in that mode. And the Pats' D was sucking eggs. If they had wanted respect, maybe they should have stopped Manning. On the other hand, you're at the 28. That's playing with fire. I think Bill made the right call, but called the wrong play. It should have been a little longer to guarantee the first down. Faulk wasn't at the marker, even if he caught it.
• The Gators and the Saints are going through a similar issue right now. Both teams are winning, but they are winning ugly. So everyone assumes that they aren't really that good. They get seduced by TCU and Boise State whipping up on Idaho and Portland State and Guadalupe School for Boys. So suddenly these undefeated teams lose respect. UF is 10-0, with an undefeated SEC record. That is freaking hard. Same thing for Bama and Texas. Going undefeated in the NCAA is hard - especially in the tough conferences. Just ask the Pac 10 - any time anyone gets close, they lose some dumb butt game. The same for the NFL. So the Saints have won some close games. But they won, and they are resilient. They won games they would have lost in other years. So does that mean they are overrated? Or is it that year when everything seems to fall in place?
• You know I have to do it. UCF! UCF! They won a game I was sure they would lose. You put a number in front of a team's name and that is kryptonite to most smaller schools. I was really happy they pulled it off. I wasn't so happy with them nearly giving up their 17 point lead. They were up 37-20 with 8:30 left. The final was 37-32. I saw the 37-20 score and started saying how exciting it was they would win. Heather looked at me and goes, "Don't jinx it." That's a UCF family right there. I joked they gave O'Leary a contract extension after the game. Then I realized that was very very sad because it could be true.
• I have consistently underestimated the Bengals all year. In my survival league, I got knocked out by back to back Bengals bungles. And, even though I have their D in the SFL, they ride my bench. I guess I should start realizing they may actually be good.
• USC is just one of those teams that I love seeing get tripped up. They need a good come-uppance. And this year was one heck of one.
• Have you looked at the BCS Standings? In the top 10, there are 3 SEC teams, 2 Big East, 1 ACC, 1 Big 12, 1 Big 10, 1 WAC, 1 Mountain West. No PAC 10. I don't think I've ever seen anything like that before. It's also funny how everyone a few years ago was trying to strip the Big East of their BCS spot - saying they had no chance to field competitive teams.

SFL WEEK 10 RECAP:

• Week 10 went against the grain this week, with a complete lack of close matchups. The games were decided by 14, 22, 22, 27, and 92 points. With the exception of Monkey vs Gator Greats, the higher ranked team won each game. It was a pretty rare week for the SFL.
• 92 points. Yes, Tally Noles beat Tampa Bay Rams by 92 points. Noles finally had a huge week when his opponent didn't have a bigger week. Huge performances by Peyton Manning, Sidney Rice, Reggie Bush, Reggie Wayne, Joseph Addai - and the Non Active Dwayne Bowe. The Rams, on the other hand, have Drew Brees. That's all.
• The closest matchup all day was between the 8-2 Stickboy and 2-8 Steelas. The Human Bye Week gave Stickman all he could handle. Here's the thing to think about. Steelas has Darren Sproles riding his pine every week, while he starts the inactive Anthony Gonzalez. How many games could he have won if he made that one change?
• Gator Greats had to win that game and he did. Monkey seems to be impersonating the New York Giants, losing four in a row. They now are in a tie, with the points scored breaking the tie. It is hard to tell why Monkey is struggling so badly. His point scored is fine - 4th in the league. It just seems to be a run of bad luck - injuries and by weeks and such.
• Bad Counsel continued his strong run of late, beating up on Da Bus. BusDriver is probably out of the playoff hunt at this point. Even though he is only two games out, his low point total is going to keep him from winning any tiebreakers. Counsel, on the other hand, has gotten into a tie for 3rd with Ugly Consequences. This is good for him - he doesn't want to end up tied for 4th with anyone (like Tally Noles). His relatively low point total will also hurt him in a tie.
• It was pretty scary for a while for SFL leader Bloodthirsty Ferrets against Ugly Consequences. Ugly was winning up to the Sunday night game, when Tom Brady helped push the Ferrets ahead for good. Ferrets is like the New Orleans Saints of the SFL. His team is really not that impressive and he doesn't win big often. He just happens to luck out and play teams on their down week. Consequences was tearing through the SFL for the last month. This week he only scored 99 points. Lucky Ferret.

SFL WEEK 11 PREVIEW:

• Trade Deadline is Friday. Just letting you know.
• Instead of doing my traditional preview, I wanted to look at the playoff race and see how the teams are set up for a potential playoff run. Going 12-1 in the regular season is hardly a guarantee of postseason success. Let me explain. Bloodthirsty Ferrets one year went through the regular season undefeated. 15-0. It was something to behold. This was back when the Kansas City Chiefs were one of the powers of the NFL. Well, Ferrets had stocked their team with Chiefs. Priest Holmes, Tony Gonzalez, Dante Hall, Johnnie Morton. Then Holmes got dinged up, and the Chiefs rested their starters on the way to the real playoffs. What happened? Ferrets got knocked out in the first round of the playoffs. So, there is a difference. How will your team do in weeks 16 and 17? Let's look.
• Bloodthirsty Ferrets - Currently 1st place (9-1) - Late Term Dangers: Tom Brady -- The team is surprisingly well built for the long haul. Brady is the only player whose team will have wrapped up the division early. But Ferrets also has Big Ben on the big bench. The Steelers are in a dogfight with the Bengals, so they won't let up at all. Ferrets also has big players from the Packers, Jets, Cardinals, Dolphins, Panthers. They all should be playing hard - trying to get into the playoffs. No players from potential tanking teams either. Playoff Strength: Very Good
• Stickboy - Currently 2nd place (8-2) - Late Term Dangers: Pierre Thomas -- Another strongly built team. The biggest positions are filled with teams making a late season surge (Titans, Jaguars) or who are stumbling and trying to stay afloat (Packers, Giants, Eagles). Only one tanking player - Terrell Owens - who is usually parked on the bench anyway. Playoff Strength: Very Good
• Ugly Consequences - Currently 3rd place (6-4) - Late Term Dangers: Minny's D, Calvin Johnson -- There are a couple of question marks here, but mostly the team is just as well built as the top two. It is doubtful the Bengals, Chargers, Cardinals, or Broncos will wrap up anything too early. The Falcons, Cowboys, Texans, Ravens are all fighting for spots. Minny will wrap up the North soon, but their Defense won't stop playing. Biggest question is Calvin Johnson. Will the Lions tank at the end to improve draft spot? Or is that dangerous to a team with a legacy of losing? Playoff Strength: Very Good
• BadCounsel - Currently 4th place (6-4) - Late Term Dangers: Brett Favre, Randy Moss, Joshua Cribbs, Danny Amendola, N.O. D -- Bad Counsel is in the classic quandary. He has some great players he wants to start. But he has a ton of players on teams with a huge division lead, or who will be tanking for the draft. Favre will be playing limited action toward the end, probably, to save him from injuries. (Backup Kurt Warner is strong, though.) Randy Moss will probably sit out week 17. New Orleans D is in the same boat as Minnesota's - can't stop playing, won't play as hard. Several players on the Browns, Rams are warning signs. Most of his backups are a pretty big dropoff from the starters. Playoff Strength: A Little Scary
• Tally Noles - Currently 5th place (5-5) - Late Term Dangers: Peyton Manning, Reggie Wayne, Sidney Rice, Joseph Addai, Reggie Bush, Kevin Smith -- Tally Noles has the single player that makes this though process even necessary. Peyton Manning. He has killed more fantasy teams in the playoffs than anyone. The Colts shoot out to a huge undefeated record. Then he plays in weeks 13-17, but he doesn't play much. The drop off from Manning to Orton? ENORMOUS. Manning can win you games alone. In addition, the lineup is peppered with Colts, Vikes, Saints. And he even has a Lion, Chief, and Raider to hit the tankers too. Wow. Playoff Strength: Very Scary
• Monkey - Currently 6th place (4-6) - Late Term Dangers: Tony Romo, Brian Westbrook, Mike Bell, Patriots D -- Monkey is smart about building his team. He has won the SFL twice by avoiding the late season swoon. This year is pretty similar. Aside from a Saint and the Pats D (same as Vikes and Saints), Monkey is in good shape. His dangers are in Westbrook - who always gets injured late in the year (and is now) and Romo - who always sucks at the end of the year (and is now). No QB backup means that Monkey is hoping Romo shakes his late season trip to suckville. Playoff Strength: Good
• Gator Greats - Currently 7th place (4-6) - Late Term Dangers: Percy Harvin, Jamaal Charles, Fred Jackson, Steven Jackson, Jay Cutler -- Gators has been personally responsible for picking off the Ferrets late in the year on several trips to the playoffs. This year, though, Gators has more warning lights than usual. Harvin is on a Vikings team that will probably let up a little in December. He also has several draft pick tankers from the Chiefs, Rams, Bills. And he has Jay Cutler on his bench, who seems to be going crazy as the season goes on. Playoff Strength: A Little Scary
• Da Bus - Currently 8th place (4-6) - Late Term Dangers: Donovan McNabb, Marques Colston, Tomlinson, Marshawn Lynch, Kellen Winslow, Donald Brown -- Da Bus is peppered with players whose teams will be taking it easy (Colston, Brown), trying for top picks (Lynch, Winslow), getting hurt (Tomlinson), or choking in big games (McNabb). He is on the outside of playoff possibility anyway, but if he did make it, he would probably leave quickly. Playoff Strength: Very Scary
• Steelas - Currently 9th place (2-8) - Late Term Dangers: Wes Welker, Adrian Peterson, Dallas Clark, Matt Cassel, Visanthe Shiancoe -- At 2-8, playoff strength is irrelevant. If we are trying to decide who will finish last, then this becomes relevant. Steelas is great shape to tank at the end of the year. The players propping their team up won't be playing at the end (Welker, Peterson, Clark). And the team routinely starts a player who is out for the year. Cellar Strength: Very Good
• Tampa Bay Rams - Currently 10th place (2-8) - Late Term Dangers: Drew Brees, Pierre Garcon, Devery Henderson -- The Rams were built to finish the job. Once Drew Brees starts sitting out the second half, the Rams have no one to generate points. Cellar Strength: Excellent

WEEK NINE: Bowling for Playoffs

I still am a big fan of a college playoff system. I know this is never going to happen. There is too much money tied up in the BCS structure. The only way this will happen is if some wacky year yields a TCU vs Cincy national championship game. Then the big conferences will come racing into the BCS office with pitchforks and torches, demanding a playoff system.

I remember a few years back that someone proposed a 16 team playoff system, using the current bowl structure as the host sites. He said that there would be fifteen bowls that were used as the playoff games. Think of the NCAA basketball tournament - except with 16 teams instead of 64. They would play games each weekend from the first of December through the first of January. It would end at the same time. The first weekend would only have those first round of eight games. After that, the bowls that didn't make the 15 cut could still have their matchups during the week, with Saturday being the day for the tournament games. If we were to follow this pattern this year, here is how it would look right now.

Week One - 8 Bowls - 16 Teams

• Outback Bowl - #1 Florida vs #16 Utah
• Gator Bowl - #2 Alabama vs #15 Houston
• Insight Bowl - #3 Texas vs #14 Miami
• Holiday Bowl - #4 TCU vs #13 Oregon
• Champs Sports - #5 Cincinnati vs #12 Pittsburgh
• Emerald Bowl - # 6 Boise State vs #11 Ohio State
• Humanitarian Bowl - #7 Georgia Tech vs #10 Iowa
• Independence Bowl - #8 LSU vs #9 USC

Week Two - 4 Bowls - 8 Teams

• Fiesta Bowl
• Cotton Bowl
• Chick-Fil-A Bowl (Peach)
• Capital One (Citrus)

Week Three - 2 Bowls - 4 Teams

• Sugar Bowl
• Orange Bowl

Week Four - 1 Bowl to Rule Them All - 2 Teams

• Rose Bowl

Holy Crap!!! First of all, when would the bowls in round one ever get matchups like those? Never. And, you spread the bowls around so it isn't just Florida and California getting the big ones. That is why I included Humanitarian and Independence. How is this a losing proposal? Every major conference is represented. And the bigger the games got, the bigger the ratings would go. You think the NCAA tourney gets a lot of attention? Imagine the true National Championship game. And if you are feeling bad for the other NINETEEN bowls, they could still exist and be played during the week. This is how the teams outside of the Top 16 would get their rewards, just like now. No one gets left out. Maybe some 6-5 or 6-6 teams don't get invites. So what? They shouldn't anyway.

And, I mean, look at those games! Who wouldn't watch those? There isn't a lousy one in the whole batch. And the really stupid thing is that these matchups would never happen in our current bowl system. Thanks to agreements and politics, we will never see Texas vs Miami. USC vs LSU? Florida vs Utah? Think of the story lines? It is ridiculous? Why won't this work again? Why is the NCAA fighting this? Look at the potential second round matches, also. Florida vs USC. Alabama vs Georgia Tech. Are you worried about the TCU vs Boise State game? Well, if they can knock off Pitt and Oregon, then they deserve the right to play each other. We would see if these smaller teams are really better - not just if some coach or idiot sportswriter THINKS they are better. EVERY game would matter. Yes, the argument would be that you could lose a game and not be "out of it" - like USC or Ohio State this year. But think about the fact that who is #16 matters. Penn State, Wisconsin, Arizona would still be playing their butts off to make sure they got up to #16. So you wouldn't see teams get lazy at the end of the year once they lose the "good bid" and know they are going to St. Pete.

I guess it make TOO much sense.

FOOTBALL THOUGHTS

• Well, Iowa is out of the way. Ha.
• I still do not understand how BCS voters can get snookered by teams like TCU and Cincinnati. One bonehead announcer I heard the other day was saying that if Texas or one of the SEC monsters tripped up, that Cincy may even sneak into the title game. Whaaaaat? That alone should validate a playoff system. Fine, give them a #1 seed and then watch them get destroyed by LSU in the semifinals. Absolutely stupid. There is no freaking way that either of those teams has a chance.
• I was listening to the game on NBC Sunday night and they were talking about concussions, specifically dealing with Westbrook. Cris Collingsworth was going on about how the players in the NFL have been made soooo aware of the concussion problem, and how they have to be careful in coming back from them. The NFL now has baseline brain scans of every player, so they can compare the before and after with concussions. This is obviously a new thing. Players that left as recently as a few years ago (Kyle Turley, for one) did not get that info or care. I think the NFL is worried Congress is about to come whoop their tails, so they are trying to get things together before that happens. I hope it helps. I have had a hard time watching football lately.
• That Cal player that nearly snapped his head off on Saturday, plays like that aren't cool. I was sitting there worrying about how badly his brain got damaged. Seems so pointless.
• The Bucs got rid of those awful creamsicle uniforms. It was at that moment their fortunes changed, when they started to contend and be a real player in the NFL. So, they bring them back and they suddenly win. Kind of strange. Maybe they should switch back and see if they can reverse this current funk.
• I do not think the Colts or Saints will go 16-0. There are articles all over about which one has a chance to do it. NEITHER!!! In the long history of the NFL, two teams went undefeated during a regular season. After waiting 25 years for a second team to do it, is a team really going to pull that off two years later? No. When the Colts clinch the AFC South next week, you will see Manning start to shift into a lower gear to stay healthy for the playoffs. And the Saints have come way too close to losing three weeks in a row. I still want to see the Saints in the Super Bowl. I just think they'll lose at least once before that.
• Between the Bengals and the Bearcats, the city of Cincinnati is enjoying a great season. Who would have expected that at the start of the year?
• Also, is there another city whose main pro and college teams have uglier uniforms? The Bills are hideous, but the college team isn't too bad. Oregon doesn't have a pro team. UM is atrocious, but the Dolphins are pretty classy. The University of Washington can be pretty hideous and the Seahawks are terrible. I guess it would come down to Seattle and Cincinnati.
• I'm trying to decide if Georgia Tech just looks awesome on offense because they play in the ACC. Are they going to be able to put up those crazy numbers in their bowl game, or are they going to wilt when they play a team with a defense?
• After taking a week off, I would like to state publicly that I still think Bobby Bowden should retire. It drives me nuts that when I say that, people will respond with, "I think Bobby is a great guy." That is such an irrelevant comment. According to EVERYONE, Nick Saban is a total a-hole. But that isn't grounds for his employment at Alabama. Bowden has lost it. FSU has lost it. They need to start over before they are an afterthought. When Gator fans are saying, "I love Bobby. I think he should stay forever," you know there is something wrong.
• Did you see that UCF didn't start a couple of their big players in the Texas game? Supposedly O'Leary was keeping them out so they would be healthy for their big Conference USA match with Houston this week. So, you are playing the #2 team in the country. And you DON'T play your starters? It was almost like he was conceding the loss. I swear, why is this guy still employed at UCF? It is that mindset that will assure the Knights never get anywhere. "Well we are going to lose on national television, may as well be sure we're healthy for the game no one cares about." What a wanker.

SFL WEEK 9 RECAP

• You always want the game of the week to deliver on its promise of excellence. More often than not, it doesn't. This year in the SFL, Stickboy vs Ferrets was definitely a classic battle worthy of its hype. This week, Monkey vs Ugly Consequences was the hype target. And it certainly delivered. The teams were battling for third place in the SFL. And the game was wild and unpredictable. Ugly built a lead on Sunday, but Monkey slowly erased the lead. Finally, it all came down to the Sunday night Cowboys/Eagles matchup. Monkey is starting Tony Romo. Ugly was starting Miles Austin. For a good chunk of the game, it was playing into Monkey's hands. Romo had not hooked up with Austin. But without doing that, he wasn't generating enough points to pass Consequences. Finally, Romo caught Austin on a great pass and catch. Touchdown. It would have given Monkey the points, except it gave Ugly the points too. Ugly Consequences squeaked past Monkey. Tough loss for apeman.
• But in an even more exciting matchup, Gator Greats and Tally Noles took it down to the wire. Noles thought he had it locked up heading into the Monday night, leading by 17.88 points with Gator only sporting Denver's defense against the Steelers. Fast forward to the end of the game. Denver had generated 17.83 points. Final score Noles 104. 50, Gators 104.45. A difference of .05. To put that in perspective, if Denver had gained ONE MORE YARD in return yardage, Gator Greats would have won. Unbelievable. That gets the award for worst loss this year.
• The other three games were pretty much one-side affairs, with the higher ranked opponent whipping up on the lower ranked teams. Ferrets, BadCounsel, and Stickboy all continued their winning ways at the expense of Bus, Human Bye Week Steelas, and Tampa Bay Rams.
• For the first time all year, there are clear 1-4 ranked teams. There are just five weeks left until the playoff, which includes the top four teams. There are three teams piled up at 4-5, just a game out of the postseason (Monkey, Da Bus, Tally Noles). All three of those teams have shown potential, but are not very consistent. They need to do something or find themselves home come December.

SFL WEEK 10 PREVIEW

• The game of the week this week features former roommates Bloodthirsty Ferrets and Ugly Consequences. Ferrets have won seven games in a row and are perched at the top of the league. Ugly has more points than Ferrets, but are in third place. Lately, Consequences has been the most fearsome team, generating some huge scores. But it should be a close game. Yahoo's prediction is 121.45 to 121.30. Sounds like a good one.
• Aside from that matchup, the rest all are matchups of top tier teams versus bottom tier. But even with that going on, there still could be some movement in the rankings.
• Bad Counsel could put some distance between himself and the 4-5 pack by knocking off Da Bus - which would give him a two game lead on them.
• Gator Greats is only a game behind Monkey. A victory by Gators would help pull him back into playoff contention, while hurting the big simian. Monkey needs to win to keep within shooting distance of the 4 spot.
• Steelas and Tampa Bay Rams are battling for the bottom, tied at 2-7. This week could help Steelas in claiming the cellar, as they play the rejuvenated Stickboy. Tampa Bay Rams plays the second most erratic team in Tallahassee, the Tally Noles. The first time these teams met, Noles took the win.
• All the teams have played each other, which means we are starting our second trip through the matchups. You are playing the team you played the first week.
• Don't forget the trade deadline is Friday, November 20. And since it takes a day for trades to go through, you probably should get trades rolling by Wednesday the 18th to be safe. I guess this item is aimed just at Ugly Consequences, since he is the only team that considers trading as part of his approach.

WEEK EIGHT

FOOTBALL THOUGHTS

• It is funny how quickly UF has become the most hated team in America. They can't do anything right. Ever win was given to them by the referees. People love taking shots at Tebow for everything he does. They say he's overrated. They rip on his morality. People imply he and Urban Meyer are involved in a Bert n Ernie kind of relationship. Now the latest is this Brandon Spikes deal. He apparently tried to gouge a UGA player's eyes out and urinate in his dead skull. Maybe he watched A Few Good Men to get ready for the game. Maybe he is just a horrible man. But people think he should be run out of football. The funniest thing is how UF fans defend everything that happens. At this point, David Nelson could get arrested running naked with a dead cat on his head through town carrying a bow and arrow, whizzing arrows into oncoming traffic, and UF fans would ridicule you for thinking Nelson should miss a game (or a half). Don't defend bad behavior, Gator fan. Homeboy tried to gouge a dude's eyes. That is lousy sportsmanship. True, the rest of the country needs to chill out. But UF fans at least need to admit that it was wrong.
• I hated - HATED - the black helmets and pants for UGA. It looked like Grambling. It was horrible. Never do that again. Leave those kind of stupid color stunts to Tennessee.
• To anyone who is concerned Texas is going to crash the BCS championship party, have no fear. UCF will take care of everything this weekend in Austin. It is all going to be okay.
• Still don't give a crap about Iowa. You had trouble beating INDIANA. Go Away! Go play the useless Pac 10 in the Rose Bowl and leave the real games to the real conferences.
• Speaking of USC... WAAAAAAAA HAAAAAA HAAAAAA HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
• Cincinnati is number 5? Really? We're going to do this, aren't we? Just to get a Big East team into the BCS equation, we're going to send Cincinnati? Is there really anyone . . . ANYONE . . . that thinks Cincy can keep up with Oregon, LSU, Georgia Tech, USC, or Penn State (teams ranked behind the Bearcats)?
• The Saints have that feel, I'm telling you. Of course, now everyone is starting to say how they could run the table. The bandwagon to New Orleans is filling up. And that is never a good thing. Just remember that Brees and Co. still get to play the Bucs and Panthers twice each, and the Rams. Man, I would love to see the hype that would come with the Saints going to Super Bowl.
• There could be some high flying games in the playoffs of the NFL. I would love that. Just a 45-42 shootout on the frigid gridiron - or in the dome. Viking, Saints, Patriots, Bengals, Colts, Cowboys. Those teams can put up some serious points. That would be fun.
• Basketball Interjection - I have enjoyed watching the Magic thus far. They have a really deep team. Their second team could probably make the playoffs in the East (not saying much, I know). Also, I got The Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons the other day. It is very good, thus far. He's a great writer. It is much deeper in content than I expected. I'm starting to get into this basketball thing.
• Baseball - I have not watched even part of one game this year. And I intentionally am not watching the playoffs. It is my own personal protest for the game and the Yankees in particular. Not like anyone cares.
• Who would take the Redskins' job? I know they keep talking about Shanahan or Cowher or Gruden or Holmgren. The only moron I can see doing it is Gruden. He is an egomaniac enough to believe he can do something different than every other coach. Sure, Jim Zorn is beyond thunderdome stupid. But remember that Dan Snyder already ruined both Marty Schottenheimer and Joe Gibbs with his ham-handed handling of the Redskins, not to mention lesser coaches like Spurrier, Robieske, Gregg Williams. The problem is that the owner is the worst part of the team. This is a similar situation in Cleveland and Oakland and Dallas. The owners are stupid and think they are brilliant.

SFL RECAP

• Stickboy certainly decided to re-establish himself as a power player. Last week I mentioned that this was one of those weeks where he could have a huge output. 184 points? Yeah that would qualify. Thanks to the pathetic Tennessee/Jacksonville game, where Stickboy had both running backs, he completely decimated Tally Noles. It wasn't Noles' best performance. But, honestly, that's probably for the best. Losses like this suck even worse when you had a great week.
• The other suspected juggernaut, Ugly Consequences, inexplicably fell flat in their battle with Gator Greats. Only one player cracked 20 points, which is a big change from the last few weeks were Ugly seemed like he was going to bust the 200 point ceiling. Gators benefitted from a monster week from Percy Harvin. (Ironically, Ugly traded Harvin to the Greats in the first place.) That's why they play the virtual games.
• The Human Bye Week Steelas put up more of a fight than they seemed they would. League leader Ferrets was insanely lucky that he pulled Steelas this week because they basically sucked. They would have lost to just about everyone else. The luck of the draw.
• In another head scratcher, Monkey cannot string anything together. He was banking on concussion boy Westbrook to return. He did not. So Da Bus ran him over. Both teams are part of the 4-4 logjam, fighting for the final playoff spot. [Side Note. Have you ever noticed how McNabb never seems to put up huge fantasy numbers? Even on huge weeks for the Iggles, McNabb is just kind of pedestrian. They killed the Giants and he only had 24.5 points. Kind of odd.]
• Tampa Bay Rams solidified their cellar dweller spot. He finally started Drew Brees, and that turned out to be the only player who did anything. Bad Counsel benefitted from the Brett Favre "F You Tour 09" as he continued his rise up the standings.

SFL WEEK NINE PREVIEW

• The biggest matchup of the week is Ugly Consequences vs. Monkey. A victory by Ugly would give them a two game lead on Monkey for the playoffs. It also would drop Monkey further down into the scrum for Spot Four. A victory for Monkey will leave both teams tied at 5-4. It also would keep those two from getting too much distance from the pack. Right now, even the 3-5 teams are still in the playoff hunt.
• Two of those 3-5 teams, Gator Greats and Tally Noles, play each other in a must win battle. Both teams have the potential to generate big points. But they seem to have a consistency issue. A loss would put them at least 2 games out of the playoff spot with four weeks to go.
• It has been part of the legend of the SFL how Stickboy (Benji's Bulldogs) won his first title. He never changed his lineup, even starting a quarterback with a broken thumb. He stumbled into the playoffs and ended up winning. Why do I mention this? Steelas is becoming a frisky non-player. He is favored this week by Yahoo!, what with Bad Counsel's multiple Bye players. Is it possible for Steelas to go on a tear and end up in the playoffs? It would be hard, but not impossible.
• Stickboy is back. It is like the Patriots when they remembered how to score. The Tampa Bay Rams just need to hold on and hope they don't get beat by 100.
• Da Bus is dangerous. He is just sitting there, lurking, in the 4-4 peloton. But he's won two in a row. And he has some very dangerous players. All I'm saying is that Ferrets had better not let his guard down. Stickboy would love to reclaim that top spot.

WEEK SEVEN: Makes Me Sick

I am feeling awful right now. I have been fighting some kind of angry terrorist virus. It isn't the piggy flu, I think. From what I understand, there are things that help to identify victims of H1N1X2C3P0. You have really high fevers. You barf a lot. You have explosive trots. And you are the type of person who frequents pig pens. I have none of those qualities. I am merely coughing and having a roller coaster fever. Right now, I am wearing long pants, a long sleeve shirt, socks, a short sleeve shirt, and socks. And I'm covered in a blanket. It isn't cold in here. I don't get it.

So, if I am not as thorough or as funny as you would like, I apologize. Of course, I would like to point out the fact that I have not missed a post yet. And THAT is commitment.

FOOTBALL THOUGHTS

• If you are interested in reading two more articles on why you should hate football, here is one. And here is two. Really, I am having a hard time. As I watched Westbrook walk off the field last night, I was thinking, "He could have just cut two years off his life right there with that hit."
• Is it just me, or are the bottom feeder teams in the NFL worse than normal? I don't ever recall the Arena League scores we are seeing this year. The Saints put up in the 40s every week. The Pats are uncorking their Offense. Teams like Cincy, Seattle, Dallas, Indy all have gone off in games. It just seems like there are horrendous blowouts every week. I was watching RedZone this week again and at one point, every game but one was separated by MORE THAN 21 POINTS. That's crazy.
• I'm going to say it right now. IF Florida and Alabama both go undefeated and meet in the SEC Championship Game, you know that Texas (or God forbid, USC) will worm into that other title slot. How freaking fair is that? Two teams are significantly superior and happen to play in the same conference. And then you get punished for that. (Punished being a relative terms, since you still earn $12 million for playing in a BCS bowl.)
• Here's a thought that is circulating that should get all your football loving hearts pumping. There is a good chance that UCF and USF will play in the St. Petersburg Bowl (assuming both qualify for bowl play). Isn't that exciting? Running to buy tickets? As a UCF fan, I laugh at this. I know it just totally shafts Leavitt. He wants to play UCF like he wants to recruit outside of Florida. But, as a UCF fan, I don't want this because I want to have a chance to win. And USF is in George O'Leary's head. Looking forward to THAT matchup.
• Speaking of O'Leary... There is a growing sentiment that maybe, just maybe, he isn't what he is cracked up to be. Maybe, he sucks. Here are the names floating around as potential replacements. Tommy Tuberville, Charlie Strong (UF Def. Coor), and Terry Bowden. (shaking head) Yeah, why would we do anything about that? We definitely should keep the drunk Irish guy.
• Speaking of old coaches past their prime... I love how everyone wants to give Bowden a new lease after their comeback win against NORTH FREAKING CAROLINA! I read an article that actually said that Bowden had his headphones on most of the game, and that they were even on. This is progress? How can people still defend him. He's a great man. We get it. But even great men get old.
• I cannot wait until Hype Bowl this weekend. Vikings at Green Bay. I guess it is a big deal. Or so ESPN has said once or twice. I know that we are going to be disappointed. There is not going to be the vicious fan attack everyone thinks it is. This is Green Bay. They are nice up there. Sure, they can get angry, especially when they get some beer and cheese curds in them. But this isn't Philly or Giants Stadium. Oh, man, if it was Giants Stadium. Every store in a ten mile radius would be out of batteries.
• Have you seen this sissy slap fight between Deadspin and ESPN? As a writer and "member of the blogosphere," I am so proud.
• I think the London game is really special for the teams involved. It is really something to suck on two continents. You can't pay for that experience.
• I could not even care one iota less about Iowa. In the SEC they go 9-3.
• You know that UGA is having a terrible season when I look at my picks for this week, see they are playing UF, and go "yeah right." Normally I can talk myself into picking the Dawgs.
• Small basketball note - I am actually excited for this season. Reason one: The Magic look like a lot of fun and legitimate contenders. Reason two: no concussions.

SFL RECAP

• What The What?: Volume One -- Bloodthirsty Ferrets was struggling this week. It would have been a relatively easy to take him down, thanks to the sterling work of Jacoby Jones, Rashard Mendendroptheball, and Steve Breaston. In fact, Ferrets was very nervous. Then, out of nowhere, Tampa Bay Rams BENCHES HIS QB and TE. In the middle of the game. Huh? Turns out there was a glitch on his cell phone adjustment. But, what the heck?
• What The What?: Volume Two -- The Human Bye Week is lined up against Monkey. This should be another notch in the simian's belt as he charges back up the rankings. Instead, thanks to the Steelas' Steelers' D, their total was 135 points. Monkey still had a great chance, until Brian Westbrook suffered the NFL injury of choice - a concussion. Steelas win.
• Gator Greats and Da Bus played a great game. The score flipped and flopped. It came down to Monday night. David Akers vs Donovan McNabb. With the Eagles playing the Redskins, you knew there would be scoring galore. McNabb played a pedestrian game, but still got enough points. Gators fall.
• Stickboy seemed very vulnerable this week, too. He was reeling from two straight loses. And there was this weird feeling about the matchup. Both teams had tons of players who took a fantasy dump, too (7 players each under 10 pts). But, somehow, Stickboy managed to win, thanks to Brett Favre's game ending interception.
• Does Ugly Consequences scare the fantasy bejeebers out of anyone else? The Miles Austin pickup was brilliant. Matt Schaub delivers each week. Minnesota's D is always strong. Of course, Cedric Benson won't have a personal "Screw you Windy City" game every week. I feel bad for Tally Noles. The score points every week. They average 110 points a week. But the other team scores more. Frustrating.

SFL WEEK EIGHT PREVIEW

• Starting at the top, Bloodthirsty Ferrets would be in a world of trouble this week. They had to pick up MATTHEW STAFFORD to play QB. Matthew . . . Stafford. They lost their QB, TE, RB. But, as fate would have it, they play the Human Bye Week Steelas. They have Steelers D and Wes Welker out. And I have it on good authority they aren't going to do anything about it.
• When I look at Ugly Consequences' lineup and who they are playing, I have to wonder: can they crack 200 points? I'm completely serious. It just may be a bad timing thing for Gator Greats.
• Monkey vs Da Bus. What is apeman going to do about his byes? He loses his kicker and Defense. Bus loses Kellen Winslow Jr, which actually may help him. Could it be both teams are 4-4 after this?
• Tampa Bay Rams finally got it. Start Drew Brees unless he is dead. And then consider it. He has some very favorable matchups with his roster. Bad Counsel, on the other hand, has several players involved in grudge match games (NYJ/MIA, GB/MIN). Those can go either way. You could hit it right and make a killing when the Jets slaughter the Fins, or you could misstep and get "evil Rex Ryan" that week.
• Stickboy vs Tally Noles. On paper, this isn't close. But one thing we have learned this year in the NFL, there is no ceiling for how good a team can be or a floor for how bad they can suck. When you have Peyton Manning, Jones-Drew, and Chris Johnson in a game, there is no telling which way it is going.

WEEK SIX: Heads Up

I love football. It is my favorite sport. There is no number two. I watch a few sports related events here and there in between February and August, but nothing religiously. I follow the Magic and watched most of the playoffs last year. Baseball was slightly interesting last year with the Rays' run. Hockey is just a waste of bandwidth to me. Honestly, I would probably get into soccer more than anything else if I wanted a second sport. And I love the Olympics - both summer and winter. But that is only ever other year.

The point is, football is it for me. I watch it and love it. It is the only one I can talk even somewhat intelligently about. And it is the only one I follow on a consistent basis. It has been this way since I was a little guy. I used to sit on the couch with my dad and watch games. I was a huge Cowboys and UGA fan. I still have very vivid memories of CBS games - particularly NFC East matchups with Madden and Summerall doing the announcing. I remember crying one day when Rafael Septien missed a 63 yard field goal in a loss to the Falcons - this was before he groped a kid. My parents actually picked me up early from school in fourth grade so I could watch Georgia vs. Texas in the Cotton Bowl. (The game was played on the 2nd, and our school actually made us start back on that day. That year, we only got one week for Christmas. Stupid King's Academy.)

Anyway, all of that to say this. I never thought that football would be in danger with me. Sure, some of the luster is gone. Free agency, business obsessed owners, jerkwad players. All of those things have made me realize that football is just a business and I shouldn't get so invested. But nothing really hurt my love of football like the article I posted last week. The whole concussion thing really bothered me - and I think it will change how I watch football forever. I found myself this weekend seeing big hits and thinking about what damage they were causing those players.

I know that there is the argument out there. "These players know the risks. They love playing the game. They think it is worth it." I have to question that point of view. Do they really know the risks? Have they been briefed? I know that football players all think they are invincible and that getting hurt is just a career risk. But would all of those players be so quick to sign on for this if they really knew the odds of severe brain damage later? I know the NFL makes a big deal now about teaching young guys the importance of money management and keeping the right friends. They bring in financial experts to help them with the jump from broke college students (or paid under the table college student). They have athlete testimonies about going broke or getting arrested. But do they bring in guys like Kyle Turley to say, "Yeah, I pass out for no reason when on a date with my wife"? Do they do a lesson on the number of mental-illness induced suicides of former players?

I doubt they do all that. You know why? There are two sports writers I read on a very very regular basis. Bill Simmons of ESPN and Peter King of CNNSI. BOTH of these guys linked to this article this week - and both of them were stunned about what it said. If two of the most respected sportswriters in America were that surprised, then this is not common info yet. People don't have these reports in their hands yet. And the NFL is probably not going to running into meetings, waving them around any time soon. "Hey guys, look! We give people such brain damage it makes Alzheimers look mild!"

The worst thing is that the article kind of just left things at a "uh, not sure what to do" solution. There are not a lot of answers. You can't make the game less violent. The players are too big, too fast, too skilled, too amped up on chemicals. Helmet technology is getting better, but the stuff that is close to effective looks funny - so people won't wear it. You can't restrict hits to the level to stop the "car crash level" hits - especially when those are every play for offensive linemen. And then those injuries like Tebow's are just freak things. When he fell back, he hit another guy's leg. How do you stop that? You can't. I think it leaves football in a dangerous place - how do they take care of their players while keeping the game intact? I just know that, for now, I am having a harder time getting into the games without thinking of how senseless it is to risk your life for football.

FOOTBALL THOUGHTS:

• The Washington Redskins are pathetic at a historic level. This week is the first game that they are playing an opponent who had won a game. That is correct. Through six weeks, they have played six teams who have not won a game. Giants 0-0, Rams 0-1, Lions 0-2, Bucs 0-3, Panthers 0-3, Chiefs 0-5. That is crazy. NOW for the horrible part. Thanks to the Redskins, four of those teams got their first victory. It is like the Skins are personally making sure the Lions 0-16 stays unchallenged. FIRE JIM ZORN!
• UCF failed in another upset bid. This is what the Orlando Sentinel is saying. How is 27-7 an upset bid? I really think someone needs to sit down with the UCF athletic department and explain, "Playing close for a half against a big team doesn't matter." They still are taking moral victories from not getting annihilated by ranked teams. Just plain stupid. But, they still may have two more moral victories against Houston and Texas.
• USF fans. I have to say it. You have the same disease. ESPN was even railing about it during the game Thursday. You have to consistently beat those ranked in-conference games. It seems USF gets all hyped up for the first half of the year and then gets bored when it comes to winning the conference. So they knock off big teams on the front end and then lose to Rutgers or Cincinnati. That game on Thursday was completely winnable. There is no excuse. Bulls have to win that game or be destined to Insight.com Bowl again.
• If Tebow wasn't QB, Florida would have three losses. He personally put them on his back for the Tennessee, LSU, and Arkansas games. That is a special player - the one who says, "We are NOT losing this game." The more I watch him, the more I like Tebow. The more I watch UF, the more I realize they are completely dependent on him.
• What the heck happened in Jacksonville between January 2008 and August 2008? They go from a great playoff run, barely losing to undefeated New England to last year's debacle. And this year is just wacky. They get blown out by Seattle. In a game they have to bounce back in to get their season on track, they barely beat THE RAMS in overtime. Now there is talk of them moving to LONDON!?! Yeah, the franchise is in trouble. But deporting them? That's a bit much.
• Has any college player more hurt their NFL chances than Sam Bradford? Think about it. We all knew he would suck in the NFL because he's from Oklahoma. What? Name an Oklahoma QB who did well in the NFL. Troy Aikman doesn't count because he transferred to UCLA. Ever since Bradford robbed Tebow of the Heisman, he has been destroyed in the BCS Title game, and been hurt three times. It is like he is made of paper. That can't be good for his future in pro sports. (You know some dumb team was going to draft him. San Fran or Seattle or something.)
• Did you laugh when Ohio State lost to Purdue? I did. I laughed right out loud. No one knew why. I said, "Ohio State lost. Man I hate Ohio State." The only disappointing thing is that now the winner of UF and Alabama can't rely on beating the Buckeyes for the title this year.
• I'm kind of disappointed that Belichick pulled Brady and let up against the Titans. The all time record was in reach. 73-0 the Bears beat the Redskins in the 1940 Title Game. Two touchdowns. That would have been nothing. When you get a shot at immortality, you have to take it. And then go for 2 after the last TD to get the record by yourself

SFL RECAP

• You always hope those #1 vs #2 matchups will be great. More often than not, they don't live up to the hype. Then there are those few games, like Texas vs USC a few years back, where the game is just as epic as everyone hoped. That is what happened in the SFL this week. Stickboy and Bloodthirsty Ferrets were both 4-1, ranked 1 & 2. These two teams are original franchises. They have won three of the seven SFL titles. They have played in five of the seven championship games. They are the Colts and Patriots of the SFL. I swear, their game was more exciting than most of the NFL games. It went back and forth all day. Finally, Ferrets pulled it out with Thomas Jones' 71 yard TD run. Final score 166.68 to 149.30.
• And just think, if Ferrets had started Brady instead of Big Ben and Breaston instead of Maclin, he would have scored over 200 points.
• What do you do if you are Stickboy. In the last two weeks, he has lost to his two biggest rivals. This week he scored enough to win every other game. You can't really play any better than he did. This week he has to play the vastly improving BadCounsel. To avoid becoming the Jets, he HAS to win this game.
• Lots of very gaudy scores this week. Of course, that matched the Arena Bowl scores in the NFL this week. Four teams scored over 140 in the SFL. Twelve players generated 29 points or more - and two defenses did the same thing. Crazy week.
• Drew Brees is nuts. He again put up over 40 points. Of course, he was riding Tampa Bay Rams' bench in favor of Eli Manning. Actually, the top three points generators (Brady, Brees, Schaub) were all riding pine in the SFL. Of course, Ugly Consequences and Ferrets won, so it is hard to question their choices. Rams lost by less than 7 points. Kicking himself today.
• Trades. They are not a huge thing in the SFL. I wish I had tracked how many we had each year. This year we have had two - both involving Ugly Consequences. They have huge ramifications for the teams involved. Part of the reason Ferrets won this week was picking up DeAngelo Williams. Gator Greats has been helped a ton by his pickup of Percy Harvin. But, like the NFL, trades are not a big thing. This is also to remind you the Trade Deadline is later this year - November 20.
• Gator Greats took the threat of being the solitary cellar dweller seriously and put a serious beat down on Steelas. Sure, he was assisted by the fact that Steelas started a mind-numbing FOUR players out on bye. He also was helped by the ridiculous scoring on Yahoo! that gives Defense punt return yardage points. It was the whooping of the week.
• BadCounsel - once our basement troll - is now really coming on tough. He's won three of four, this last one in very convincing fashion. Tally Noles was traveling this Sunday, so we'll give him a slight break.
• Ugly Consequences played a solid game. Da Bus put up a valiant fight, but got stranded by McNabb's unbelievable performance versus Oakland. An interesting note, Consequences started neither player he traded for this week. Maybe he wanted them to learn the playbook more first. But he is on a tear, winning three in a row and leaping to third in the rankings this week.

SFL WEEK SEVEN PREVIEW

• The standing shook down to a big muddled mess. It seems each week there is a lot of big leaps and falls depending on win/loss. For the first time all year, the points seem to match the rankings, though. (Except for Ferrets)
• We don't have any power matchups like we had last week. The top four teams all play lower seeds. Stickboy is again faced with a streaking team as he squares off against BadCounsel. But Stickboy may have timed this match right - Todd Heap is on a Bye for BadCounsel. (Yeah, that won't matter.)
• Newly appointed number one Ferrets take on Tampa Bay Rams. Now, in years past, this would be the week that Ferrets does something stupid and lose. And with Drew Brees on the Rams, anything can happen. You know, if he starts, that is.
• Gator Greats looks to continue his climb out of the pit by taking Da Bus out behind the woodshed. Interesting story, Da Bus just got a new truck. Now he wants to be called Da Truck. He's the Chad Johnson of the SFL. He also is going to be attending UF starting in January. He best get used to Gator Greats now so the arrival isn't a shock.
• Monkey. He just sits there and lets other teams get their glory. And then, when the season is over, he's in the playoffs and everyone's like, "How the heck did he get there again?" 4-2 now. He'll be 5-2 after our glorified Bye Week (the Steelas). Better watch out for that primate.
• Ugly Consequences vs Tally Noles. It's the battle of Ferrets' former roommates. Bonus points for whichever one was more tortured by The Commish during their stint with him. Super bonus for whichever one has more embarrassing stories. This game could go a long way into setting up playoff position, too.
• Have a great week. And don't forget it is FAMU's Homecoming game this weekend. You know you want to be there.

WEEK FIVE

FOOTBALL THOUGHTS

• Well, apparently I am a bad bad man. This sentiment was first laid out there by Bobby Bowden. "The critics will keep criticizing. The good people won't." When I questioned the logic of this statement on Facebook, I was roundly ridiculed. Apparently I hate old people and sweet hearted old men. That all may be true. But Bowden still needs to quit and FSU needs to overhaul its program.
• If you want to hate football a little bit, read this article. It deals with the alarming concussion issue. And it puts a whole new light on Tebow's "just a concussion."
• Jim Zorn is still head coach of the Redskins. That, to me, is the biggest clue that Dan Snyder is just phoning in the rest of year hoping to snag Shanahan or Cowher or some big name coach.
• How about those Florida Tuskers? Big win for them, you know. Why do people insist on competing with the NFL? There is not ever going to be another league to cut into the NFL's power again - unless concussion lawsuits take it down.
• The "Knights' Notepad" column in the illustrious Orlando Sentinel today actually had this as a real poll question. "Would UCF beating UM be the biggest win in their program's history?" The other contenders? Barely beating a horrific Alabama team in 1998, winning the Conference USA, beating Troy, and almost beating USF. When you list "almost beating" a team as one of your biggest successes, you need to redefine success. And I would list "almost beating" Nebraska or West Virginia or Georgia as more impressive as "almost beating" USF.
• It just hit me that Daunte Culpepper and Kevin Smith are both on the Detroit Lions. As a UCF fan, I guess I should pay more attention to Detroit. But, honestly, I feel I have suffered enough for my allegiance to UCF.
• I was very impressed with the Dolphins on Monday night. They could have folded up their tents after the last Jets' TD. But they didn't. Maybe it was a combination of the orange jerseys and Marc Anthony in the stadium. But that team has guts. That's the biggest improvement Parcells brought to Miami. They used to collapse when the opponents glared at them. Now they are at least going to fight to the end.
• If you were a borderline SEC team, wouldn't it be worth entertaining an offer to jump into the Big East or ACC? Think about it. You could rule those conferences instead of getting the tar kicked out of you and ending up 7-5. South Carolina, for example, would be going 10-2 and 11-1 every year in the ACC or Big East. Just a thought.
• I remember just a few years ago when there was actually a debate over which conference was better - SEC, Big 10 (11), Pac 10, Big 12. No one debates that any more. The SEC Championship should just double as the BCS Title Game. Sorry, Boise State, it is a fact.
• Every Tuesday night at 8pm, ESPN is showing a one hour documentary as part of their 30 for 30 series. Tonight it was about the Baltimore Colts Band - and the move of the team. Directed by Barry Levinson. (Last week was the Gretzky trade.) Next week is the downfall of the USFL. They are really good shows. Just a viewing suggestion for you sports fans out there.

SFL RECAP

• It sucks to be Monkey. He knocks off previously unbeaten Stickboy. He ends his own losing streak in the process. And he drops a spot in the standings. That isn't right. Monkey is the Texas of the SFL.
• We had a couple of big blowouts this week - Ferrets and Consequences both had huge days. They were neck and neck for the Toyota Biggest Fantasy Blowout winner on our league page. Consequences squeaked it out.
• The most vicious opponent in the SFL thus far is that nasty BYE. Team after team gets taken down by that guy.
• We still are having a LOT of low scoring weeks. I'm not sure what is going on - but it seems like there are less monster weeks. Or they are done by guys like Miles Austin. Who? Yup.

SFL WEEK SIX PREVIEW

• The standings will definitely be shuffled up after this week. I actually have never seen a week with pairings like this before. 1 vs 2. 9 vs 10. 5 vs 6. We could have a mess of people logjammed at 3-3 . . . or at 4-2 . . . or at 2-4.
• Be sure to check your lineups. That vicious BYE jerk is lurking, always waiting to knock your team down a notch.
• Cellar is for the taking! Damp, dark, full of spiders! Who wants it?!? Steelas? Gator Greats? Fight for it. Or . . . OR . . . don't change your lineup and it should be easy to take it.
• Stickboy and Ferrets are fighting it out for the top spot. Winner takes . . . um . . . all? With Stickboy's recent choke job and the rampaging ferrets on the loose, could we have a new leader?
• Lots of good games this week. Don't forget you can check how your team is doing live during the games with the Stat Tracker feature.

WEEK FOUR: Eh?

It has been a rough week, which is why this didn't get out until tonight - or this morning depending on how you look at it. This weekend I will be driving down to Orlando and then over to Tampa for the U2 concert (with Tally Noles). So I wanted to make sure this got out. I don't have too many deep big thoughts. But I got some stuff in bullet lists. Expect something much more exciting next week - probably with a U2 theme.

FOOTBALL THOUGHTS

• I am glad to see that my personal mission to take down Bobby Bowden is gaining steam. You see articles everywhere backing me up. I appreciate everyone's support.
• Do you wonder, maybe just a little, if Big Ben Roethelfilllisbergerweinerreiner may actually not be the fun loving guy he wants us to think he is? I mean, one Harrah's employee accusing is one thing. TWO Harrah's employees both stating Big Ben displayed a sense of entitlement in his visit there. I don't think this story is over yet.
• I am really excited about the race down to the wire in the NFL. I think that this year we may have to play all sixteen games to see who is the victor. Rams, Bucs, Chiefs. Who sucks the worst? That's why they play the game.
• You think that Tennessee is regretting hiring Lane Kiffin yet? The team is weak at best. And the Titans are 0-4. Am I putting too much blame on Kiffin by putting the Titan debacle on his plate? I don't think so. Think about it. Put one turd in the water supply and it can ruin the whole thing.
• Don't get too excited reading this. You don't want flagged for excessive celebration. Technically, doesn't every blogger and tweeter bring "unnecessary attention to himself?"
• Is anyone paying attention to Texas? It just kind of feels like they are flying under the radar. That's hard to say about the #2 team. But it just seems like no one talks about them. Most of the focus is on the SEC dominating the charts.
• Speaking of that, how in the heck does one conference have THREE teams in the top five? That just is nuts. You would think that isn't possible - between having to play each other and recruit against each other.
• Is this resurgence of The U for good or temporary? I'm kind of excited to have those punks back in the mix. As Tally Noles told me, "I hate to admit it, but I love watching Miami play."
• I put this on my Facebook the other day. UCF is now 3-2. They play seven more games - three against ranked teams (Houston, Miami, Texas). The rest of their opponents have a combined record of 7-12. There is no excuse for UCF to do any worse than 7-5 and a bowl berth. So, expect some excuses when they go 6-6 or 5-7.

SFL RECAP

• I don't remember having a week where so many games were dependent on the Monday night game. I think every game was still some degree in play going into Favre's Last Stand.
• Stickboy and Ferrets up in the Top Two. It is like the SFL's version of Colts and Pats.
• Bad Counsel is charging up the standings. Two strong wins in the last two weeks. He has a very NFC North type of team - nothing overly spectacular, just guys who do their job.
• Frustrating season for the Tampa Bay Rams. They are fifth in scoring and in eighth place. Those kind of seasons are maddening.
• It is a tough season thus far for the Gator Greats. You would have thought he lost the Championship last year - like the famed NFL Super Bowl loser curse.
• Monkey and Ferrets are going in opposite directions. That's the way it goes in the animal kingdom sometimes.

SFL WEEK FIVE PREVIEW

• Everyone watch out. Michael Crabtree signed with the 49ers. Steelas may not be a gimme win any more.
• Two of the hottest teams square off this week as former co-staff members Bad Counsel and Bloodthirsty Ferrets battle. Someone's win streak will come crashing to a halt.
• The big showdown between Monkey and Stickboy seems kind of anti-climactic now, with Monkey petering out and Stickboy flying high. But these two teams hate each other with the passion of a thousands AAA batteries. So anything can happen.
• UM vs FSU - Consequences vs. Steelas. Guy who changes his roster vs. Guy who forgot the season started. AND Steelas will be suffering from U2 hangover this week too. Congrats on the victory, Matt.
• UF vs FSU - Da Bus vs Tally Noles. Both of these guys have solid teams and are trying really hard. At some point it will click. It is a long season.
• Battle for the spot above Steelas - Rams vs Gators. Loser gets stuck in the crawlspace above the basement.
• Don't forget to check those byes.