WEEK FOURTEEN: I Still Suck

So, I my mouth makes a promise my butt can't cash. I distinctly said that I would be able to write a post this week. I missed last week and swore that I would be on the ball this week. Well, let me just give you a rundown of what happened since that last post.

• Friday - Pack for a weekend trip, pick up the kids, drive down to Tampa to see my mom and sister.
• Saturday - Spend the day with family. Games aren't played yet, anyway.
• Sunday - Drive back to Tallahassee. Pack my bags for my next trip. Watch maybe two minutes of football. Text a smack talk message to BadCounsel. Realize I had made a mistake. Try to backpeddle on my smack talk.
• Monday - Wake up to a flat tire. Get it fixed. Drive down to Orlando. Work on stuff for Defender whilst there. Go to bed.
• Tuesday - Spend nine hours writing. Get tired of being on the computer.
• Wednesday - Go to three meetings in Orlando. Drive all the way back. Feel rotten - hurting back and stomach. Go to bed early.
• Thursday - Finish up shopping, pick up kids, get stuff for party at Nat's school, write this whiny post.

So, there you have it. This is one of the first times I was even able to sit down and look at the SFL stuff to think about our post. Sure, I saw the results of the weekend. But I haven't been able to summon up some bologna to put on virtual paper. Here are some quick thoughts about the SFL playoffs.

• Hottest team in the SFL? Gator Greats. The team all but gave up about a two months ago. But then they went on a tear, winning five straight games and seven of nine. Their two losses were both by less than a point. The smallest win margin was 18 points. The average win was 29 points. And they beat Stickboy two weeks ago. AND, they beat Ferrets in both matchups this year (just looking forward to potential final game).
• Stickboy pulled in almost 100 points more than any other team. Quite simply, if they are running on all cylinders, they cannot be beat. Unless Gator Greats just keeps this insane fire going.
• Ugly Consequences has the potential to hang up an enormous number of points on people. But, somehow, they have lost both games to Bloodthirsty Ferrets. They didn't score 100 points in either game - the only two games they had under 100 points. Maybe the Ferrets are just in their head.
• Speaking of the Ferrets - they seem to be like the Cardinals last year. You almost scratch your head and wonder how the heck they got here, let alone finish 11-3. Their performances have never been very impressive, almost like Ohio State. But they don't inspire much confidence. Seriously, which quarterback is a sure fire start now? Big Ben or Brady? Are any of the receivers going to do diddly?
• Predictions: Stickboy 132, Gator Greats 141. Bloodthirsty Ferret 103, Ugly Consequences 131.

WEEK THIRTEEN: Bound to Happen

Well, it was bound to happen. I couldn't possibly have managed to actually update this every single week, could I? I knew it would happen. It is like when an NFL team is going for the undefeated season. It never is the game they should lose that takes them down, it is the one that they never should have lost. That's what happened. It wasn't Heather's exam week that knocked me out. It wasn't the week when I had a 103 fever. It was the week after all of the stress - the week when Heather was finally home for a month. I had no excuse. I had more free time than I have had since early this summer. There is no reason I would miss this week. And, yet, I did. Pretty pathetic.

By now, you know how last week played out in the NCAA, NFL, and SFL. The Gators lost, the BCS protected their big conference schools by matching TCU and Boise State in the worst big time bowl game ever, the Saints and Colts stayed undefeated, and the SFL moved one week closer to the playoffs. We are in our last regular season game. Stickboy and Bloodthirsty Ferrets are locked into the 1 and 2 slots. If Stickboy wins, he is #1. If he loses and Ferrets wins, Ferret is #1. If Ugly Consequences wins, he has the #3 slot. If he loses, it is mathematically possible for him to drop to #5 - but it would be an absolute miracle. If Gator Greats wins, he is in - probably as #4, unless Ugly loses and Gators wins and outscores Ugly by 28 points. Bad Counsel is in if he wins and Gator Greats loses. Tally Noles still has a slim chance, if both Gator and Counsel lose and Tally wins and outscores Gators by 90 points. Soooo, his chance of making the playoffs is about as good as Bobby Bowden's coming back as "Ambassador."

Got all that? Yeah, me neither. Next week, I will be back with a season recap and playoff preview. And in two weeks, we will have some SFL awards. So, sorry I blew it this week. I'll make it up to you next week.