NINTH SEASON: WEEK THREE

I don't have a whole lot to say up here, so I won't waste your time.  ON TO THE QUICK HITS!!!

NFL HITS

• The Jaguars are atrocious.  They have a -43 point differential this year, second only to the 49ers (who, funny enough, have a -49 difference.  Maybe they should change their name to the -49ers).  Jacksonville needs to do something.  This is not a team that can suck long term and survive.
• I remember before the year started, the experts were talking about the Steelers and how they hoped to hand Big "And Not Afraid To Use It" Ben a 2-2 team (best case scenario).  Then they lost Dixon and were hoping to hand him a 1-3 team.  Now they are 3-0 with the best point differential in the NFL.  Their defense is crazy good.  This week they play Baltimore and their pathetic offense.  Then they have a bye week.  So Rothlisnoogieburger could come back to a 4-0 team coming off of a bye week and playing Cleveland in their first game together.  Their tough games remaining are at Miami, at New Orleans, home against Patriots, and at Baltimore.  Bad news for Steeler haters.
• At what point can we just demote Detroit to the CFL?
• Buffalo too.  I mean, they are both already up there and would fit in nicely.  
• And Cleveland?  Or would that be pushing it?  
• Tim Tebow got demoted?!?  This is horrible.  Now he won't be getting to play while listed as third on the depth chart instead of second.  Really, so what?  People get worked up over the dumbest stuff.
• I love it when a team like Dallas or Washington starts to struggle.  You know, those teams with a really intrusive owner.  Who are they going to blame?  They fire coaches, ream out players, squawk all over the place.  But they forget that THEY BUILT THE TEAM!  It blows my mind that they can't see they are part of the problem.  It is like when an overbearing pastor blames his staff for all the problems at a church.  How can it be their fault?  He's fired everyone who could have been a problem.  At some point, you have to look at yourself.  
• John Fox is supposedly going to break the bank for some team next year as their new head coach. Would this qualify as the worst contract year in the history of sports?  That team is pathetic.  That has to rub off on him, doesn't it?  Maybe he can join Jerry Jones and neither of them can be to blame.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL HITS

• I know I'm guilty of focusing too much on UCF.  But I think I'm one of two writers in the country that writes about them, so give me a break.  As a UCFan, I get very upset at the Knights.  Here they were last week.  They are 2-1, their only loss against NC State.  The Wolfpack are now 4-0 and appear to be one of the few decent teams in the ACC, so that loss isn't that bad in retrospect.  They are playing in horrible weather conditions in Manhattan, Kansas against Kansas State.  The playing field is level - home field advantage swept away by a tornado.  They lead the whole game.  This could be a defining moment for the team.  They hold the lead, leave 3-1 with a tough fought victory over a big BCS conference team.  Instead, they crumble and give up a touchdown on a long drive with under two minutes left.  That is just bush league.  UCF may be one of the five biggest universities in the USofA.  They may be trying to convince the world they deserve a BCS slot.  But, until they learn to stop losing stupid games against BCS teams, they aren't going anywhere.  There are enough Vanderbilts, Dukes, and Iowa States to handle that role.  
• Eddie Gilley, owner of Gator Greats, enlightened me to more information on my comments regarding UF's arrest record.  Apparently only a handful of those arrest actually led to sentencing - most were dropped, plea bargained, whatever.  And, he made the point that UF cops are not easy going - rather they get their jollies pulling people over.  Fair enough.  I still stand by my assertion that they need to buckle down that program.  I would say that about any team - even UCF.  Of course, UCF players can't even get arrested.  They drop the bong with two minutes to play.
• That insane laughter you heard coming from Live Oak, Florida on Saturday around 6pm was me when I saw the final from the Texas/UCLA game.  Paving the way for TCU/Boise State in the title game.
• Seriously, though.  What would happen if it came down to the end of the season and Boise and TCU were ranked 1-2?  It is entirely possible.  They are ranked 3-5 right now.  Both teams should run the table.  The only challenge to that is really TCU playing Utah later this year.  Ohio State could lose on any given Saturday.  (This is Ohio State, after all.)  The SEC could take each other out easily.  It will be a miracle if an SEC team finishes undefeated.  Oregon and Stanford play this Saturday, so one of those two will be knocked out.  The other one still has to play USC and Arizona.  If Oklahoma can get past Texas this week, they have a great chance to go undefeated.  You want to see some shady voting?  Wait until the last three undefeated teams are Boise State, TCU, and Oklahoma.  I bet we would see a BCS official run onto the field and shoot a player ala The Last Boy Scout rather than let Boise and TCU play in the title game.
• I repeat: Mark Richt cannot survive this year.  When I was counting UGA's losable games, I didn't include Mississippi State.  I guess I need to lower the bar.  4-8?  Do they have any winnable games left?  Idaho State, Vandy, Kentucky?  Sad day in Athens.  Happy day in Gainesville.
• There's been lots of grief about FSU's empty seats in their win over Wake Forest.  I can understand Samford in the opening game.  But the ACC opener?  It was a beautiful day.  There was no excuse.  That's the kind of crap UCF has to put up with.  Big league teams don't have empty seats on games like that.  It shows the hold Bowden had on this city, though.  I'm not sure what FSU is going to do about this, but this spells long term trouble.
• Hey!  The ACC is . . . still struggling.  UM beat a Pitt team that is hardly as good as advertised.  But the other ACC teams didn't look dominant against their non-conference foes - including a loss by Duke to Army.  This week should give another clue when Notre Dame plays BC and UNC plays East Carolina.

SFL HITS

• The showdown between top ranked Gator Greats and Tampa Bay Rams turned into yet another dominating performance by Gator Greats.  They are the last undefeated team.  But, more than that, they currently are sporting a +97.52 point differential in his three games.  How impressive is that?  The next best point differential is +49.69 by Mean Green.  This isn't always an indicator of anything.  (Second place Ferrets has a -8.84 difference.)  But it is a good indicator of how dominant a team is - lots of blow out victories, close losses.  Right now, Gator Greats is pretty tough.
• Tampa Bay Rams dropped to fifth with their loss.  But, again, losing to Gator Greats isn't a shameful thing.  They need to be more worried about their team's lopsided reliance on Peyton Manning.
• On the flip side of the league, you have Monkey and Queen City Noles.  Monkey has the cellar to himself this week, the last team without a win.  To say they are underperforming is a mild assessment.  And this week doesn't look much better, as they square off against their nemesis Stickboy.  If anyone is going to steal that cellar, it will be Queen City Noles.  I talked this week to the team owner and he summed it up best.  "Man, my fantasy team is horrible!"  Truer words have never been spoken.  Averaging 83 points a week makes you horrible.
• There were two games that went down to the wire this week.  Bloodthirsty Ferrets took down Stickboy by 2.08 points, despite Stickboy's pleas to Aaron Rodgers on the message boards.  Da Bus clipped Odious Repercussions by only .89 points.  Less than a point.  That's just ten yards running or receiving, a missed field goal, a dropped interception, an avoided sack.  Tough losses for both those teams.  Lucky wins for Ferrets and Bus.
• The top four teams all square off against each other this week, so there could be some shake ups in standings next week.  Remember bye weeks start this week.  So check your rosters.

NINTH SEASON: WEEK TWO

The Bizarre Case of Mike Vick.

I have read quite a few things this past week about how strange it is that people are not rallying behind Michael Vick.  Normally, we here in America are complete suckers for a comeback story.  We love it when a player hits bottom and then scrapes their way to the top again.  Shoot, we don't just feel that way about athletes - we feel that about all kinds of people.  Robert Downey Jr, Mickey Rourke, and Sandra Bullock are all examples of this.  They were down professionally, and then we embraced them once they finally got their talent to match their opportunities - while not shooting themselves in the foot.  Donald Trump went from an egomaniacal billionaire to a bankrupt egomaniacal former billionaire to a beloved egomaniacal billionaire again.  George Foreman was more loved on his second run at the heavyweight championship, and turned himself into a multi-million dollar industry.

In sports, we have awards like "Comeback Player of the Year."  We celebrate players who can make it back from bad years or injuries.  It is part of the sports culture.  We do the same thing with teams.  Would the Saints have been so supported last year if they had not always stunk and if the city hadn't been underwater?  We love stories like that - overcoming the odds to reclaim success.  So why is Michael Vick still so hated?

His crimes were heinous.  That much is true.  Injuring and killing animals is depraved and shows a major moral deficiency.  He did his time.  He was reinstated.  He worked hard to get back in shape - mentally and physically.  And he was willing to take a second position.  Now, he has had two incredible weeks.  He earned the starting job.  And he still has to deal with booing fans and newspapers running headlines like "Michael Vick: Top Dog."  There are still fans who think he never should have been allowed back into the league.

It is bizarre.  There are other players who have been suspended and brought back.  Few have met the open hostility Vick has.  Bret Favre has battled both painkiller and alcohol addiction issues.  Ray Lewis stabbed a man to death (allegedly).  Donte Stallworth killed a pedestrian.  Jamal Lewis ran a drug ring.  Manny Ramirez and multiple others did steroids.  And that is not to mention the countless drug using arrests, DWI arrests, domestic abuse arrests, holdouts, and halfheartedly played games.  So, why is Michael Vick getting the short end of the stick?

It comes down to the fact that there are two things you can't do in this world - hurt a kid and hurt a dog.  Think about it.  In the movies, that is how you really know a villain is a SUPER villain.  They are willing to hurt a dog.  I remember watching Independence Day in the theater when it came out.  There was a scene after the aliens started to attack.  Fire is boiling down the streets of Manhattan - destroying everything in its path.  A small group of people race into an alleyway.  Their dog is chasing after them.  The whole audience was terrified the dog wasn't going to make it.  Now, mind you, like five million PEOPLE had just been crispified.  The White House was destroyed.  All over the world, complete devastation.  But, dang it, if that dog had died, it would have been too much to take.

I think that is the kicker.  He hurt dogs.  They are cute and innocent.  And, according to Vietnamese people, quite tasty.  That is not to minimize his crimes.  But it is to remember that they were animals.  he was sentenced.  He did his time.  He is allowed to come back.  Good for him if he does well.  Why should he be denied the opportunity to earn a living?  Vick would have been better off running a real life Fight Club or a human trafficking ring than a dog fighting ring.  Then, he would have probably already have earned redemption.

NFL HITS

• Like I said a couple weeks back, the NFL concussion rule is just a big mess.  Reading the excellent as always Gregg Easterbrook, he highlighted the inconsistencies in the rule.  Eagles linebacker Stewart Bradley got his bell run in week one.  A few minutes later he went back into the game.  He was not examined by an independent neurologist.  Rather, the team doctor - an internist - green lighted his return.  The Iggles claim they were exempt from the rule because Bradley "left the game on his own" instead of being taken out.  Now we have an answer - no league officials, no refs.  The teams are left to police the rule themselves.  I'm sure they'll err on the side of caution.  Whatever.
•  The Tampa Bay Bucs are 2-0 and FAVORED over the Steelers this week.  What. The. Heck.  This comes after I wrote the stunning piece on my other blog, ripping the organization.  I guess it just served as bulletin board material.  And it proved, once and for all, that I know absolutely nothing.
• I'm going to say this in the nicest way possible.  I can't stand the obnoxious, press addicted, ugly, stupid Manning family.
• There were many glasses of beer cheese soup raised in celebration of Bret Favre's sterling performance on Sunday, I betcha.  
• I know it makes me a petty person, but I absolutely love it when some big overbloated team with a ridonkulous owner and stadium just sucks.  I don't know where the unhealthy obsession with the Cowboys comes from.  But it sure is funny to see them flounder.  Haha.
• Let's see how I'm doing on my last place picks...  Not so great.  I am on track with Buffalo, Cleveland, St. Louis, and Oakland.  But Washington, Chicago, and Tampa Bay are in first place.  So far, Indianapolis, Dallas, Minnesota, and Carolina are bringing up the rear in the other divisions.  I don't think that will stick, though.
• What the heck is going on with Denver?  Three players dying in four years?  That is bizarre.

COLLEGE HITS

• Continuing our weekly lambasting of the ACC...  Well, they didn't do as bad as in the first two weeks, I guess.  They can add three more "quality opponents" to their victim list.  BYU, East Carolina, and Cincinnati join UCF and Navy on that list of "teams that don't completely suck but are by no means national championship material that got clipped by the ACC."  However, West Virginia, Stanford, Auburn, and Alabama took ACC teams behind the wood shed this past week.   The ACC is now 0-9 against ranked teams.  This next week should be a reprieve for the ACC, since the only "quality teams" they play are UM vs Pitt, UNC vs Rutgers, and Duke vs Army.
• On the flip side, the SEC has six teams in the Top 15.  Yeah, that battle of top conference is pretty tight.  
• I wanted to comment on the UF arrest story.  Gator Greats owner Eddie Gilley wrote a pretty thoughtful (and only mildly defensive) post the other day about this issue.  I agree with several of his points, especially the one about the environment these kids come from.  How many arrests are going on in those areas?  Is the ratio higher?  But, I do differ with Eddie on some points - as would be expected from someone who is not close with athletes.  I think that one arrest on a team is too many.  But thirty over six years is a serious problem.  Sure, some of those were dropped or easily resolved.  However, that is still going to leave a good number.  I think of it this way.  My kids have things called markouts in their classes.  This is the disciplinary action of choice.  For a kid to actually get a markout for behavior, they have to do something multiple times - ignoring all the warnings.  I'm not talking about the "work not in" markout.  People don't get arrested for minor stuff - and chances are campus cops are going to be pretty lenient if at all possible, especially with athletes.  So the action would either be repetitive or bad enough it couldn't be ignored.  We've all done stupid immature stuff.  None of it was arrest-worthy.  There are times these things are going to happen with college kids - especially with ones from bad upbringings.  But, still, thirty arrests is ridiculous.  I like Eddie's comments about the athletic dorms.  Maybe we do need to go back to that kind of environment.  Whatever the solution, I think UF has to seriously address it - and they needed to do so earlier than now.
• Final point on that, remember when tons of FSU players were getting arrested?  People took great glee in using that as examples of how Bowden had "lost control" of the program.  How is this any different?  
• I have a feeling that Mark Richt needs to get his resume together.  UGA is 1-2.  True, both losses came to Top 15 teams, but how bad is this year going to be?  They still play highly losable games to UF, Auburn, Tennessee, Colorado, and Georgia Tech.  I don't think he can survive 6-6 or 5-7.
• I said after last year that UCF had to give George O'Leary this year to see if he could establish some kind of consistency.  Like most UCF fans, I hoped for a strong year.  After losing to NC State and struggling against Buffalo, I really don't know.  If this is the same old UCF, there are plenty of games they could lose on their schedule.  Unfortunately, if UCF pulls off a 6-6 or 7-5 year, they won't have the cojones to can him.  (Even though they fired their basketball coach for the same kind of frustrating inconsistency - it just took 10 years to do it.)

SFL HITS

• STOP THE PRESSES!  We can not go any further in this sham of a recap without shouting from the rooftops that the Tampa Bay Rams are 2-0 and in second place.  Their success is almost as startling as the Tampa Bay Bucs.  The Rams have never started a season 2-0.  But there they are, at the top of the league.  Good for them.  Their close shave victory over Mean Green kept them undefeated.  The future looks good - it is always good when you have Peyton Manning.  Looks like we're in the market for a new whipping boy.  We'll have to see how Reggie Bush's injury hurts them.  Green had some trouble this past week.  Romo was strong, but Dallas is looking shaky and Romo's taking a lot of the blame.  Will that affect his mental state?  The supporting cast, though, is pretty rough - not many #1 guys.
• Tebow Tosser is staking his claim to the post of whipping boy with another losing performance.  Of course, he lost to first place Gator Greats, so the jury is still out.  Tebow's roster is a little shaky - not a lot of big playmakers (aside from the Steelers' D and Frank Gore).  He also has the wrong Manning.  Gator, on the other hand, has an embarrassment of riches.  Vick and Cutler.  A stable of good running backs.  Kind of scary for his opponents.
• While Monkey may also be occupying the cellar, it is hard to be too tough on him.  He lost a heartbreaker to Bloodthirsty Ferrets this week - he didn't relinquish the lead until Monday night with Pierre Thomas' performance.  He also has Matt Schaub, Randy Moss, and Reggie Wayne - and Big "No Means No" Ben on the bench.  It's hard to imagine they'll stay down all year.  Ferrets is up to his usual high scoring ways.  Solid lineup - everyone has high point potential.  (This week he won despite having Dez Bryant on the bench.)  His point total is 2nd highest, by just .32 points.  Although there is that loss....  
• The team that actually appears to be in the best position to be strapped to the whipping post is Queen City Noles.  Even though they are 1-1, their point total is second worst.  They have some strong players, but there is a big fat old question mark at QB.  If Favre looks like he has thus far all season, it is going to be a rough year for QC.  If he can get his act together, then there may be a chance to right the ship.  Da Bus is proving they got over their weak start.  They laid the hammer down on QC this week with a 50+ point win.  There is some real explosive potential on that team - if everyone clicks at the same time.
• The last matchup featured two of the teams that have to be favorites to be virtually playing deep into November.  Odious Repercussions lost, but it was largely due to a smaller performance by Arian Foster and a near no show by Jacksonville and Jones-Drew.  Even still, he may have pulled off the win if it wasn't for Jahvid Best's out-of-your mind performance.  Stickboy really got bailed out with that game.  He had five players under 10 points and three under 4 points.  Rumor has it that thank you cards have already been sent to Detroit and Philadelphia.  
• We know for sure that we will have a sole possessor of first place after this week.  Gator Greats and Tampa Bay Rams go at it head to head.  Yahoo! is predicting a 99.2 to 98.3 victory for Gator Greats.  Stay tuned to see what happens.  The bottom four teams all square off against each other, too.  So we should have some clarity on the cellar dweller as well.

NINTH SEASON: WEEK ONE

Did you see Despicable Me?  I thought it was a great movie - my kids loved it.  They actually liked it better than Toy Story 3.  But, then again, they are kids.  And I think they eat paint.  Or paste.  Or paint and paste sandwiches.  I'm not sure.  I try to ignore them all day when I'm home with them.  They put a seriously crimp into my fantasy football research.  Where was that going?  Oh yeah.  In Despicable Me, one of the girls the main guy, voiced by Steve Carrell, is watching sees this stuffed animal at the amusement park.  She goes, "It's so fluffy I could die!"  Then when she gets her hands on it, she screams, "IT'S SO FLUFFY!!!!!"

That was how the collective male population of the United States felt this past week.  "IT'S SO FOOTBALL!!!!"  I actually found myself watching numerous games.  This was probably due to the fact we were at my in-laws' house with Heather's brother's family.  The kids have other things to do there, so I can actually watch sports without having to switch to Wow Wow Wubbzy whenever a game gets exciting.  Heather's brother was drinking it all in, too.  My in-laws have a huge high def screen down in the living room, which is awesome for watching sports.  So we just kept flipping between all the big college games on Saturday.  Of course, Andy and my father in law ditched us to go to the Jags game.  But they almost got killed by lightning.  Serves them right.  Andy also said that he had been loving watching the stuff all week.  I said, "Because of the big screen?"  He said, "That too.  We don't have ESPN, so I don't get to watch football a whole lot."  I swear I stared at him like he had just told me he actually was a lizard under his skin.  "Who doesn't have ESPN?"  I forget frequently that it is not a network.  I also thought about how he is a better person than me because I wouldn't get rid of cable unless it was the last step between me living in a house or a box.  So, once I got home, I flipped on my much smaller cable infused HD TV and watched some more of the games - including some of the Cowboys and Indians game.  And then I actually watched almost the whole Jets/Ravens game on Monday - on cable.  Let's take a quick look at some of what happened on this glorious first football weekend.

COLLEGE QUICK HITS:

• There were several groups that had a bad day on Saturday.  Let's take a look at a few.  First, the state of Florida.  We have a certain swagger in the Sunshine State.  A couple of weeks back, I mentioned how spoiled we were - always expecting a national title.  Days like Saturday are good reminders that the state is far from invincible.  FSU got beheaded by Oklahoma.  Miami was manhandled by Ohio State.  USF left Gainesville realizing they were not on par with the big guys.  UCF shot themselves in the collective foot about twenty times - including George O'Leary refusing to put in the obviously better quarterback until it was too late.  FIU lost.  FAU lost.  The only two Florida teams that won was UF and FAMU.  Bad day.
• Bad day for the ACC.  There were rumblings after Week One, when the ACC wrecked havoc in the cupcake store, but lost to all the quality teams.  Week Two was even worse.  Miami, FSU, Georgia Tech,  and Virginia lost to big conference teams.  And, just for fun, Virginia Tech lost to a crappy team.  These are the teams ACC teams have beaten thus far:  FAMU, Samford, Presbyterian (twice), South Carolina State, Weber State, North Texas, West Carolina, Richmond, Elon, and Kent State.  The only teams with any remote level of quality the ACC has beaten was UCF and Navy - dubious to say the least.  Oh, yeah, Wake Forest barely beat Duke.  They've lost to LSU, Ohio State, Oklahoma, Kansas, Boise State, USC, and the powerhouse James Madison.  Bad start, ACC.
• Bad day for Boise State.  Every college football expert has already mentioned this.  I don't think Virginia Tech losing to Midvalle School for the Blind SHOULD hurt Boise State, but I think it WILL hurt them.  It is obvious that VaTech's season is a bust.  And losing to Boise really got into their head.  It is hard to know your season is doomed the second it starts - especially when you are hyped.  They were not ready and got picked off.  I think voters are looking for any reason to shaft Boise State, and this is just the ammo they need.
• If you were a college coach and you had two quarterbacks.  Both of them are decent enough cubes.  One of them is older and more experienced.  But he is a little sketchy in his play.  He's made some dumb mistakes.  Very importantly, the fans don't like him. In fact, they boo him.  Then you have another guy - a freshman.  He's crazy good, but inexperienced.  He has nutso athletic skill.  The fans absolutely go crazy for this kid - and he thrives on it.  Let's say the first guy struggles so badly that you have to pull him.  The second guy comes in and immediately registers two touchdowns against a big conference team's defense that - to that point - had completely shuttered your offense.  What would you do?  How long would it take you to make the call on who would start?  Me?  I would have looked at the older guy on the sidelines during the second TD drive and said, "Get used to that clipboard, son."  But, that is why I run a fantasy football league and George O'Leary coaches a team with fantasies of being important.  He gets paid to (not) make the big decisions.
• I'm getting to the point where I am sick of the NCAA.  They suspend a UGA player for selling an old jersey.  But they take FIVE YEARS to hit USC with sanctions from the Reggie Bush era.  Seriously?  You didn't know this guy was on the take then?  I mean, it took that long to put the pieces together?  I'm at the point now with USC where, if a big name guy signs there, I just wonder how many zeroes were on his check.  OJ Mayo, Reggie Bush.  And with Lane Kiffin there now, it is like the perfect storm of cheating.  I wouldn't be surprised at some point if they actually field a semi-pro team.  Just stop pretending.  Go for broke.  Lane can write it off as "I didn't realize it was an infraction."  

NFL QUICK HITS:

• I will always admit when I'm wrong.  Both times it has happened, I quickly published a retraction.  Last week I cracked on the Jaguars inability to sell tickets.  I was wrong.  Jacksonville is NOT one of the twelve NFL teams doomed to blackouts all year.  Tampa is, but Jacksonville is not.  They sold out the Broncos game and, as of last week, were only a small number of tickets away from being on tv all year.  Pretty amazing, actually, that they have pulled it off.
• Remember back when the Oakland Raiders were this bad-butt team.  They got a lot of penalties, ran their mouths a lot, signed questionable characters.  When some nutjob signed with the Raiders, people would just nod their head and say, "Figures."  The 2010 New York Jets are the reincarnation of those Raiders teams.  The big difference?  The Jets haven't won anything to justify that swagger/stupidity.  There complete lack of control in penalties cost them that game.  They should have won, no excuse.  That's what happens when you have a bunch of undisciplined psychos on a team.
• I don't think any teams looked out of this world on Sunday.  But there sure were some teams that looked pretty cruddy.  And, surprisingly, several of them were supposed to be good.  The Jets and Cowboys looked like they hadn't even had a preseason.  Cleveland looks like they would lose to Virginia Tech.  San Fran was ridiculous.  And, honestly, Minnesota was not the same team that went to the conference title game last year.  There was a lot of sub-par football this past weekend.
• Did you know that this past Sunday's Jaguars/Broncos game was the hottest home game ever for the Jags?  It also got delayed due to lightning and storms.  I was driving through those storms, and let me tell you - they were horrible.  
• What did I tell you?  There already had been a "big name player" that fell victim to the new NFL concussion rule.  Kevin Kolb can't even practice until Friday - and it may cost him his job.  Of course, do you really think Mike Vick can actually be the answer for the Iggles?  Don't bet your dog's life on it.  

SFL QUICK HITS:

• It's a new day in the SFL.  Perennial league leaders are on the bottom of the heap.  Teams with a history of dubious performances have risen to the top.  What can we learn from this week?  As David Crowder sang so eloquently, "Things will never be the same.  They will never be the same.  We will never be the same."  Perhaps all this talk of league upheaval is premature.  But, what kind of sports analyst would I be without panicky conclusions from one week of football.
• FERRETS vs CONSEQUENCES:  Ferrets started this season the way they do every season - with a stupid loss.  Seriously, they have lost the first game for like the last five years straight.  They had solid performances from several players (Brady, Welker, Jets D), but they had no clue they were meeting the irresistible force known as  . . . Arian FOSTER!!!  Huh?  There is one thing that Consequences does every single year.  He finds that guy that is going to have a break out year and signs them.  Last year, it was Miles Austin.  This year, Foster.  It seems like every time I go to find a player that came out of nowhere, he's on Consequences' roster.
• NOLES vs TWIGBOY:  How the mouthy have fallen.  Defending champion Twigboy did not follow in the Saints footsteps.  And QC Noles did not follow in the FSU footsteps (off a cliff).  Instead, Noles have shown they are ready to climb out of the cellar hole they have frequented for several years with a solid showing on Sunday - largely thanks to his receivers.  Stickboy didn't play poorly, he just was not good enough.  Uneasy is the head that wears the virtual crown.
• BUS vs GATORS: There was a period before Monday's games where Da Bus was quietly putting together the worst game the SFL had ever seen.  I actually checked to make sure he hadn't started Kurt Warner and Tiki Barber.  He had 32 points with just three players waiting on deck Monday night.  Fortunately for him, those three had a good night - which pulled his numbers up.  Unfortunately for him, it didn't matter as fellow G'Ville resident Gator Greats got off to his usual strong start.  Thanks to Jay Cutler (wha??), Chris Johnson, and everyone's preseason MVP vote Austin Collie, Gator Greats put up the second highest score this week.  (The third highest was Ferrets' loss - grrrrr.)  
• TEBOW vs MEAN GREEN:  Expansion franchise Mean Green looked more like the Carolina Panthers expansion than the Cleveland Browns 2.0 one.  They won their first game ever!  It wasn't a powerhouse performance, but a win is a win - especially in the cutthroat SFL.  Tebow Tosser was the winner of two prestigious awards this week.  First, he won the "Worst Performance" award - which is one of Gabe's diapers.  He won it thanks to his second award - the first "OOOOoooo That looks like it hurt bad.  CRAP!  HE'S ON MY FANTASY TEAM" award of the year.  Kevin Kolb, former starter for the Philly Iggles, was the cause of that piece of hardware. Tebow Tossers also had three players under two points.  Why does the number two sound familiar?  Oh yea, the number of plays and yards for Tim Tebow this week.  Wait a minute.  Two yards, two plays, two points.   Tebow - - Tebow Tossers.  Coincidence?  Hmmmm.
• We would be remiss if we didn't proclaim loudly THE TAMPA BAY RAMS WON THE FIRST GAME OF THE SEASON.  Seriously, I don't know if that has ever happened.  But the Rams came out prepared with a game plan.  The amazing thing is that TB Rams only had two players over 10 points in that game.  The Saints D, with 11 points.  And Peyton Manning with 38.65.  Haven't we seen this game plan before?  Ah, yes.  That was the method for the Queen City Noles about four years ago - ride Manning like he was the only horse on the reservation.  Lost in all of this was Monkey's lame performance.  It just was not very Monkey like.  It seems like this once proud franchise has not handled the move to Rocky Top so well.  
• Well, we're underway.  Let's have fun out there.  Keep it clean.  And try not to sexually harass any female reporters in the locker room.

NINTH SEASON: NFL Preview

I'm sorry that this hasn't gone up earlier.  I forgot there was a Thursday night game this week.  I hope that it didn't negatively affect your roster choices.  I know how much you all value my insight and vast knowledge.  I had started writing an examination of if a fan base was willing to gain a title if it cost them a decade of suckitude.  It was started because I was thinking about the Bucs and how bad they have stunk it up since their title.  But the article became too big for this setting, so I posted on my other award winning blog.  If you want to read it, go over there and read it.  Or read it on Facebook.  Or don't.  I don't care.

I don't pretend to know a great deal about every single NFL team.  As I have gotten older, my affection for the NFL has diminished.  I know I've said this a bunch of times, but I find it hard to root for a corporation (unless it's Apple - Steve Jobs! 1-2-1-2! Making iPods for Me and You!)  But football still is the king of sports - and we all do love it.  So, what would a new season be without a bunch of stupid lazy guys making a ton of off the wall comments about how billionaires and millionaires should run their business better.  And, heeeeeere we go!

NFL STUFF

• There are two rule changes that I think are going to really play a part in this season.  One of them is getting its overabundance of press because it affects one of the royal family of the NFL - the Mannings.  The new placement of the ump is going to hurt the Colts.  That is just a fact.  That team runs like a machine.  And when there is a two second delay put into a machine without the designers of that machine knowing, bad things happen.  My guess is that it will cost the Colts one win.  So, that means they will only go 13-0 before losing to Tennessee on the road on a Thursday night.  (Now, if that happens, I am going to book a flight to Vegas.)
• The other rule change is the harder stance taken on concussions.  Last year I harped the whole season about concussions.  And apparently the NFL listened to my position, since we all know the first place Roger Goodell goes is this website.  Now, players with a head injury must be kept off the field until all symptoms are gone and the player has been examined by an independent neurologist - who is probably going to be the brother-in-law of the Offensive Coordinator.  As a (overly) sensitive human bean, I am glad for this rule.  We have had enough players lose their health and life over a poorly treated head injury.  But, as a fan, this is going to wreck havoc with the season.  We saw it briefly in the preseason when Eli Manning and Ryan Grant both got sidelines by getting whacked in the head.  It is out of the team's hands now.  A player with a head injury is out of the game - since it is impossible to have no symptoms AND be examined by Uncle Jimmy before time expires.  And how does the rule go into effect?  Is there going to be a league official on hand in each game to decide if a player needs to be benched?  What if a team hides the injury?  If a player gets his bell rung on a play and stays down, does that mean he is automatically out?  And if it is decided by refs or league officials, will they have a subjective approach or a clear standard?  It could get awkward if one ref is more strict than another - leading to questions of favoritism.  My guess it that we will see at least a half dozen games decided by a random head shot.  Just imagine if in week 17 you have a game with playoff implications and having the star QB hit hard in the first quarter - not enough to give him a concussion, but enough to put him out for a play or two.  That should be interesting.
• The Tom Brady wreck this morning showed just how random things can be.  We sometimes forget that these players live normal lives too.  We tend to think of them strictly as players.  Their injuries only come on the field.  But we have seen several players involved in vehicle related issues in the last few years - the worst being the death of Chris Henry.  I know from my personal experience, several injuries have been completely random.  Falling down a wet set of stairs.  Spraining an ankle on a broken sidewalk.  Dropping an ice cube on my foot and cutting my toe.  I'm actually amazed we don't see weird random injuries more often.
• As you can probably imagine, I'm pretty hacked off about the whole labor dispute that is coming up.  I think that you have to question the reasoning abilities of a bunch of billionaires and millionaires fighting over the pie.  It is actually disgusting.  The owners are trying to take this opportunity to stick it to the players on several fronts.  One of the biggest sticking points is that the players are asking for lifetime medical coverage for injuries incurred on the field.  The owners are refusing.  I have a guy I went to church with in high school who plays for the New Orleans Saints.  He has been posting about the labor struggle and how it going to be a lockout - NOT a strike.  The owners are the ones causing it.  And he talked about the coverage issue.  He blew his knee out last year and had to have major surgery.  So, later on in life, he is pretty sure he will have to have his knee replaced.  That is not covered by the NFL.  It is an out of pocket expense, even though it happened on the field.  That is a $250,000 surgery.  Like he said, I don't care how much you make, that is hard to plan for.  I wish that the owners would see their players as human beings.  That doesn't happen - I mean look at what it took for anything to be done about the concussion issue.  These guys were sacrificing their brains and then were ridiculed for sitting out after a major head injury.  It took Congress making noise about investigations before the NFL did anything.  Pretty lame.
• I think the golden days of the NFL are definitely in danger of being gone - if they aren't already.  As the MLB learned, the American public is not forgiving about a work stoppage.  That is going to be especially true when the country is in the middle of big economic struggles.  In addition, the days of sellouts and high ticket prices are over.  There are twelve teams in danger of having blackouts this season!  The Giants and Jets just built this huge billion dollar stadium and are having trouble selling the seats.  The average fan was priced out long ago.  Even the somewhat affluent fan is ditching the stadium.  It just isn't economically feasible to go to games - especially if you have a family wanting to go.  The NFL should be thinking about how to re-connect to the people who made it such a success.  Corporate partners may be nice money sources, but they make lousy fans.
• I really wonder how many more Heisman Trophy winners will become NFL stars.  The numbers are getting worse and worse.  Do you honestly think Mark Ingram is going to light it up?  The Heisman rewards something different than the NFL needs.  Heisman voters are impressed by players who use their unbalanced talent to rack up crazy numbers.  But in the NFL everything is more even, so there is not that dominance any more.  That is why there are only eight Heisman trophy winners in the Hall of Fame.  One play demonstrated the difference:  Tim Tebow bulling across the goal line for that touchdown in the first Denver preaseason game.  And then he came away with broken ribs.  He had done that play so many times in college.  This time he got nutted up.  That is the difference between the NFL and College.  He got worked by third stringers.
• The Tebow Question.  I am not a Gator fan.  I hate UF.  But I like Tebow.  And I really WANT him to succeed.  But, honestly, I don't know.  If this is going to be determined by sheer will, power of personality, and dedication - then he is the guy who could do it.  But I don't know.  I read a really interesting thing about Tebow the other day.  Bill Simmons of ESPN wrote the following:  "After watching football for 35 years, I now believe the QB Success Pie Chart is something like 65 percent confidence/leadership/poise/coolness/intelligence, 20 percent accuracy/arm strength, 5 percent athletic ability and 10 percent toughness/balls/heart. That means Tebow is already 80 percent home. Throw in his marquee value and I believe Jacksonville fans and Buffalo fans will be very bitter by December."  Simmons is about the most cynical writer out there - someone who would hate Tebow BECAUSE of his faith.  And he says that Tebow already has 80% of the tools necessary to win.  I guess it comes down to how important that other 20% is, and how fast Tebow can improve that.
• Here's one thing I don't understand.  Kurt Warner retired to spend more time with his family.  Then he agreed to do Dancing With The (Sort of) Stars.  Why can't people just be honest.  "I'm retiring because I don't want to get the crap kicked out of me and have my brain turned into jelly.  I want to parlay this fame into a truckload of caysh while I have the body and brains to enjoy it."  I thought he was going to be an announcer.  Maybe he figured the exposure (heh heh - double meaning) from DWTS would help him land a studio spot.  
• Rather than going the route of all the other prognosticators, I am now going to predict who will come in LAST in each division.  Buffalo, Cleveland, Jacksonville, Oakland, Washington, Chicago, Tampa Bay, St. Louis.  And, chances are, you can use seven of those eight again next year.

COLLEGE STUFF

• It appears as if the ACC is the new Big East.  I forgive Virginia Tech for losing to Boise State - the Broncos are a good team.  But that UNC performance against LSU was horrific.  I don't know if I have ever seen a team fall apart so fast as they did in the second quarter.  Having every skill player suspended didn't help.  But that is inexcusable in and of itself.  I guess we'll find out this week what kind of year the ACC will have.  Ohio State/Miami, FSU/Oklahoma, Virginia/USC, and NC State/UCF.  
• I think the UF/USF game is going to be interesting.  USF has developed a bit of a cockiness, what with their impressive ability to knock off ranked opponents.  That bodes well for them - not being skerred of the UF monster.  But, UF is a team that loves to knock the cockiness out of teams that don't have a reason to be cocky.  And they need to prove something after last week's half-hearted effort.  That combined with the USF coaching change could bode poorly for USF.  But, that game last week showed UF has chinks in its armor.  If it was possible to objectively view this game for any of the SFL, it would be an interesting matchup.  
• Georgia plays South Carolina this week.  Both teams are ranked and the both are in that mid-level SEC group that will probably split all the games leading to a bunch of 8-4 and 9-3 SEC teams.  I have no clue who to pick at this point.  All I remember is back in 1996, when I first had started working at USF, I had made it very clear that I was a Georgia fan and hated UF.  Eddie Gilley (owner of Gator Greats) naturally took offense at this.  I had been working there less than two weeks.  And he said, "Man, Georgia won't even beat South Carolina this weekend."  I didn't know anything about how the teams looked that year.  I just knew that no one defiled UGA.  So I said, "Yea huh."  He bet me that SoCar would win and that I had to buy him lunch if Georgia lost.  (He would buy me lunch if Georgia won.)  Stupidly, I agreed.  23-14 South Carolina.  I, of course, had no money.  I was working for NAMB as a semester missionary and hadn't gotten paid.  In fact, they screwed up my pay so I didn't get paid for a couple months.  Eddie, fortunately, was compassionate and didn't make me pay up.  That is why I still have massive nervousness every year for this game.

SFL STUFF

• Make sure you update your rosters for Thursday night's game.  It looks to be a good one.  My prediction is that New Orleans will win 38-34 and Brett Favre will retire after the second quarter but come back before the second half kickoff so he doesn't have to attend the team meeting at halftime.
• Remember their is live scoring now on Yahoo!  You can't change your lineup mid-game.  But you can watch them destruct and be savaged live.
• Be sure to use the message board to insult each other.  I believe that last volley was by Odious Repercussions about two weeks ago.  At our normal posting rate, that should be answered in October.  
• Have fun out there and keep your chin straps buckled.

NINTH SEASON: College Preview

The long awaited college football season begins tonight - with a plethora of sterling matchups.  You've got two legendary programs squaring off as Ohio State battles Marshall.  Then you've got The U strapping it on against national contender FAMU.  All joking aside, there are some good games too.  Pitt against Utah could be good.  And the USC Semi Pro team will be trying out their new d-bag coach, Lane Kiffin, against Hawaii.  But it is the first week of the season.  It is supposed to be the week when the big dogs beat up on the little runts, getting their preseason action in before the tough schedules kick in.  It has been funny over the years, watching as UCF used to be that cupcake against teams like Nebraska, Georgia, Florida, and Auburn.  Now they have their own baked goods lined up as they play South Dakota.

If you are being completely honest, you probably agree that college football has surpassed professional football in enjoyability.  There are real rivalries - teams that detest each other.  Every game means something.  And the game still is somewhat relatable to fans - even though the thought of paying 50 bucks to watch FSU kick Samford all over the field is a big much to stomach.  Professional football has become such a business - it is so bloated and promoted and managed - that it is tough to really grab hold of a team any more.  Players switch teams like jock straps.  It is nothing to see someone jump sides in a rivalry - Brett Favre being the biggest example.  It has become like rooting for a company.  How many of us would be willing to drop good money to cheer for Coke or Ikea?  Actually, I would wager that Apple has more "dedicated fans" than most pro sports teams now.  It is rare to have a NFL announcement generate enough buzz to get the national media going for days - Apple does it three times a year.

College sports have better stories.  Their players are mostly playing because they want to - only a small number have a shot at anything in the NFL, CFL, AFL, or UFL.  There are huge crowds.  If you went to a school - or followed it as a fan for years - you have strong loyalty.  That isn't going to change just because a player leaves or graduates or holds up a Taco Bell.  College football is great.

Except....

There is that one ugly element that is know as the BS BCS.  Everything is so great about the whole process.  And then, right at the end, when it all should matter, the winner seems to be picked on a whim. Sure, most years things end up okay and the "right teams" play for the title.  Or at least that is what the BCS says.  There still is something about the whole thing that smells funny.  Every year, some team like Boise State or TCU or Utah or BYU goes undefeated and left out in the cold.  And they usually end up playing in a BCS bowl against some other team that missed out on an opportunity to play in the title game.  And then that frustrated SEC team obliterates the upstart - righting the natural order and "proving" that the non-BCS conferences didn't belong there in the first place.

This year, there has been a lot of coverage about how Boise State may have finally guaranteed themselves a title shot.  They started the year ranked third.  That means that they don't have as far to climb.  Usually they start at 12 or so, and they have to climb up as they go undefeated.  Then they end up on the outside looking in.  This year, they start higher, so all they have to do is win them all.  And there are people who have been complaining they rigged it.  WHAT!?!  They figured out what they had to do and made it work.  Good for them.  I hope they do get to the title game.  (Watch, they'll lose to Virginia Tech first week and make all the arguments moot.)

The thing I hate about the BCS is that the element of surprise is all but eliminated.  The chance that some team could come from nowhere and win it all is gone.  If a big conference team made a run, they might have a chance.  But the way the system works, a team that starts off unranked has too much to make up. Let's just say that UCF had a phenomenal year.  (Stop snickering.  It is a hypothetical scenario.)  Let's just say that they just went bananas and went undefeated.  In the process, they knocked off NC State, Kansas State, Houston, and East Carolina.  So they had some decent wins.  And let's say they did this in an impressive way - lots of points, strong performances.  What are the odds they could even get into the BCS?  Slim to none.  They would have to get up into the top six to be guaranteed a spot.  If they got into the top twelve, they would have to hope that there wasn't a "bigger team" that was available.  More than likely, they would end up going to the Conference USA title game, and then earning a spot in the illustrious Liberty Bowl.  This is the same thing that BYU was saying when they jumped ship from the Mountain West last week.  They figured they would stand a better chance of getting into the national title on their own than working within a conference.  (And they don't have to share any money, either.)

That's a problem.  I still don't understand why college football won't go to a 16 team playoff system.  It makes no sense.  The games would be off the chart.  The money generated would be ludicrous.  And the national title game would be as big as the Super Bowl - or bigger.  Last year, Alabama and Texas went at it for the national title.  Two of the biggest powerhouse college teams with the biggest legacies out there.  And the game just felt meh.  It was there, it was hyped, but it wasn't HUGE.  Imagine if that same matchup happened after four rounds of games - where Alabama had to beat Florida and Boise State and Texas had to knock off Oregon and Iowa.  I bet the title game would have a zoo.  But, as always, what I think doesn't matter at all.  So I just need to shut up.

Here's some quick thoughts on the Florida teams - with a couple random thoughts too.

• In Florida, we are spoiled.  It is a fact.  No matter which team you root for, there is a certain pride in knowing that someone from the Sunshine State will still be romping around come January.  In the last thirty years, a Florida team has won TEN of the titles.  The next closest state has three.  When you take into account the other voters - not just the AP, USA TODAY, BCS - Florida teams have been voted National Champ in NINETEEN of those thirty years (some years had more than one Florida team represented).  That means that in almost 2/3 of all those years, there was a Florida team with a legitimate claim to the title.  We are spoiled.
• FSU - Lots of people around here have this confidence - that since Jimbo supplanted Bobby, everything is going to be ducky.  I don't necessarily agree.  Here's my basic problems.  First, Jimbo has been here the whole time as the train derailed.  He was the "de facto coach."  He was the mastermind.  Soooo, what exactly is going to change now?  I was one of the loudest "Fire Bobby" guys out there.  I think FSU did what they had to do.  But they botched it.  They should have paid Jimbo to go too - consider it a dodged bullet.  But, they pushed forward.  Second, I don't like Fisher.  He tried to portray himself as this good ole' boy successor.  But he is an arrogant turd.  You could sense it back at signing day, when he just rambled on, like we were all blessed to hear his voice.  But he's also banned numerous press members, insisted on him being the only voice of the program, basically turned back into Nick Saban - his mentor.  Saban gets results.  But he is a total jerk.  He's also a brilliant coach, as long as he can pay and bully players.  (I guess the bullying part was why he failed in the NFL.)  I'm not sure Fisher is on the same plane.  Although they have had good recruiting classes.  I guess we'll wait and see.
• UF - Superman is gone.  What now?  We've all read about how much better of a "true quarterback" Brantley is.  And that is probably true.  But there are some things that makes me wonder about UF.  First, this offseason was tumultuous.  That doesn't happen in Gainesville.  They are very business like - come in, get ready, go win.  With the stuff loss of Tebow, there was a huge upheaval. And the Meyer health issues made it worse.  I think that Urban is not going to let that hurt UF, but still, that is a lot of distraction for a team that usually doesn't allow that junk.  Second, UF has to deal with the Tebow issue.  He was a unbelievably popular player.  That's why there are so many Broncos fans now.  You don't lose a player of that stature and just pop back up like nothing happened.  Look at the Packers, for example.  Were they better off in the long run without Favre?  No doubt.  Is Rodgers a great QB?  Yup.  But the void left by #4 leaving took years to get over - and it still flares up whenever Favre comes to town.  Even though they filled the position, they can't replace the icon.  How do they get past that?
• THE U - Miami is back in the picture.  That is for sure.  How far will they go?  That is the question.  The ACC is going to be tough - with several ranked teams.  They play six ranked teams - including Ohio State and Pitt.  It is not an easy schedule.  But Miami has too much swagger to not be able to get up for those big games.  I'm glad to see they moved the FSU game off the first week - that was just a bad idea from the start.  With Miami, they have seemed like they are on the verge of a break out for a couple years.  People still fear them - even though they haven't been players for a while.  But that schedule could kill them.  First five games include at Ohio State, at Pitt, at Clemson, and home against the Seminoles.  They could walk out of that 1-4 or 5-0.  If it is the former, they are going to struggle all year - since they still play UNC, Georgia Tech, and VA Tech.  If they get through the first half, they just will need to keep from having a brain fart against USF.  
• UCF - What to do with the Knights?  They have not had two winning seasons in a row since George O'Leary came to town.  And it isn't even close.  They wildly veer between atrocious and very good.  Either they are going to give Texas a run for its money, or they are going to get trounced.  They are like Star Trek movies.  Hit or big miss.  This year is supposed to be their down year.  Last year they were surprisingly good - went to a bowl and lost, as always.  This year, according to their light switch approach to football, they should be off.  BUT, the problem is that they are a more talented team this year.  They return a butt load of players.  And they have a great schedule.  Normally they have a couple big conference teams scheduled to destroy them.  This year, those teams are NC State and Kansas State - neither one ranked or powerhouses.  The toughest team they play may be Houston.  East Carolina - a major nemesis to the Knights - will be down thanks to losing their coach.  If it was any other team, it wouldn't be a stretch to think they could run the table.  But this is UCF....
• USF - Da Bulls.  They have always been so impressive in how together they were.  From the very beginning, they had a plan and executed it well.  They weren't afraid of anyone.  They felt they could compete with every team - and did.  Big games brought out the best in them.  They knocked off ranked teams.  Put them up against a non-conference big shot, and that guy was going down.  But they were channeling their coach.  Jim Leavitt was the heart of that team.  It had his personality.  It is hard to find another pairing of coach and team that was more in sync.  This off season, Leavitt went and pulled a Bobby Knight and got himself fired.  You can't choke players any more.  They can rape, pillage, rob, whatever.  But you can't touch those precious china dolls.  Or you get sent packing.  Enter Skip Holtz.  A good coach with a good lineage.  But, there has got to be some interruption of service at USF.  You don't rip your heart out and be good to go the next minute - even Will Turner needed a couple minute in Pirates of the Caribbean.  I think the ceiling for USF is higher with Holtz.  They used to get so hyped for big games and then lose stupid conference games to UConn.  He should help them even out.  But, there is a long term issue, as well. Leavitt was never leaving USF.  He had turned down so many offers - including his alma mater Kansas State.  Holtz doesn't have that commitment level.  If they get too successful, they may have to go through this again.
• North Texas - To be fair to our one team that is not beholden to a Florida team, we should look at the Mean Green.  Um, they play Clemson, Kansas State, FIU, FAU, Army.  And, uh, they seem, uh, like they mean well.  Yeah, they suck.
• Just for the record, I still hate Ohio State.  Why were they ranked second in the preseason poll?  It just makes it easier for them to make it to the BCS games to get destroyed by some team from a real conference.  Every year,...
• I have mixed feelings about all of the rejiggering that happened with the conferences this year.  I am excited to see what happens with Colorado and Utah in the Pac 10.  Utah could really throw a monkey wrench into the USC juggernaut.  Nebraska going to the Big 10 just means there is another boring team over there, so I could care less.  And the other swapping just seemed kind of pointless - like getting a better seat at the kids' table.  I have no doubt this is far from over.  It seemed like these moves were just the calm before the storm.  I fully expect another round after this season.  On the other hand, I am excited that at some point UCF may luck into a seat at the table.  When everything gets consolidated into four mega-conferences, they will need some other whipping boys like Vanderbilt and Duke.  Maybe UCF can fill that role.  
• Lane Kiffin is such a jerk.  Normally, when I find out some famous person is my age, it makes me feel bad that I haven't done more with my life.  Not him.  He is such an awful person that I actually am glad that I sit home.  I have to wonder just how bad he can get.  What more can he do?  He's offended so many people.  Will he be out of coaching by the age of 40?  Once he bails on USC or runs it into the ground  - where will he go next?  I think he should coach there for one mediocre year, then go sign with the Dallas Cowboys.  Then he can say he left because USC was stupid and got into trouble - nothing was his fault.  Then when he goes to Dallas, he should publicly urinate on a Indian reservation - to show his disdain for the Redskins.  He should violate the rules for free agency ten times in five minutes.  Then, call out Jerry Jones in a press conference - later calling it a joke.  And then make a bunch of comments about New York being gay.  Maybe then he'll get hit by a battery during a game or they'll find his body in a river.  

I know, this was largely useless.  But you should be used to it by now.  Plus, I was trying to write this while Gabe was tearing around the house causing problems.  Natalie was begging for dinner.  And Josiah was walking in circles with a fake microphone narrating some stupid story about something - very loud.  Heather, conveniently enough, was not here.  She had a "commitment" at the school until 8pm.  You can't expect Pulitzer Prize stuff under those circumstances.  Next week I'll tackle the NFL,