WEEK ELEVEN: Drinking Haterade

Bill Simmons wrote a great piece a couple weeks back about the loss of sports hate. He was saying that all sports fans understand the concept of sports hate. Eddie Gilley is a huge UF fan. So he hates FSU with a passion. Does he actually hate FSU or its players, coaches, or fans? No, but there is a sports hatred that does influence your approach to the school. Simmons was saying how a few years back he had three players he hated - Kobe Bryant, Peyton Manning, and A-Rod. But that this past year has really made his sports fan status override his sports hate for those players - they all answered the criticisms against them and became champions. He was mourning his loss of people to hate.

I can understand that. I have always hated Notre Dame. There is no logical reason for it. I just have hated them. So their downward spiral in sports was something I enjoyed greatly. But as I have grown up, I have realized that their downfall was largely due to their refusal to lower their standards for admission to allow the new generation of players access. They have a very high graduation rate. They are a good school. With most teams, we know that the grading systems are a suggestion when it comes to athletes. Schools find ways to get great athletes into their university. The only athletes who don't make it are SO bad they can't even fake it.

Take UCF, for example. UCF is a small player in the college sports world. They also probably don't have to bend the rules as much as, say, Alabama. But even at UCF look at the academic issues that have popped up. Daunte Culpepper miraculously is able to get his grades and tests high enough by his senior year to get into UCF - thanks to a tutor. Where that tutor came from or who paid for this magician was never explained. A couple years ago, UCF lost a half dozen players - including their starting QB - for a cheating scandal in some goofy music class. (Much like FSU's legendary music class that had athletes selling their books illegally.) Then there was Todd Cleveland. He played with Daunte and was one of the most amazing athletes I ever saw. His freshman year he touched the ball eight times and scored six. Kick returns. Punt returns. Long TD passes. Next year, he was a pre-season All American. Never played again. Why? He had a 0.25 GPA. Yes, that is correct. He got one D and three F's. Example of someone too dumb to even fake it.

So, Notre Dame doesn't play this game as much. And it hurts them. It minimizes the hatred I have for them. Sure, the golden helmets still get my blood racing. And I love watching Navy beat them. But it isn't the mighty arrogant Notre Dame any more. It is a more helpless team. I think the reason I still enjoyed the Notre Dame beatings was because Charlie Weis was such an insufferable prig. I liked seeing him get his comeuppance. Now, if they hired a nice respectable coach, it would be hard to still hate the Golden Domers.

I have seen this happen before. I used to loathe the Celtics, especially Larry Bird. By the end I had to give him his props. And I actually found myself rooting for the Celtics two years ago against those sons of guns on the friggin Lakers. I have hated UF with the fire of a thousand suns, going so far as to tell my children they are not allowed to become UF fans. But, between Tebow and Meyer and their amazing run the last four years, it is hard to hate them so much. Maybe it is only with the fire of fifty suns.

Just in case you were wondering what my hate list is, I would be glad to provide it. I tried to put it in some sort of gradient of hatred. I'm sure this will get some of you all ticked off. But, what did you want with a Hate List?

College Football

Miami, USC, Ohio State, Notre Dame, UF, Nick Saban, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Oregon's uniforms, Virginia Tech, George O'Leary

Pro Football Teams

Dolphins, Broncos, Redskins, Eagles, 49ers, Raiders

Pro Football Players

Ray Lewis, Chad Ochocinco, Shawne Merriman, Dan Marino, Terrell Owens, Randy Moss, Brett Favre, JaMarcus Russell, Jamal Lewis, John Elway (my hatred for Marino and Elway has not died down - it is still as strong as when they were playing)

Pro Football Coaches, Etc.

Jon Gruden, Rex Ryan, Bill Parcells, Daniel Snyder, Mike Shanahan, Don Shula

FOOTBALL THOUGHTS

• We're pretty much assured of this at this point - FSU will have the worst regular season record of all the major Florida schools. I doubt they will beat UF, which means they will end up 6-6. UF will be 12-0. UM will probably be 9-3 (if they beat USF). USF could end up 9-3 (if they beat UM and UCONN) or 7-5 (if they lose both - I think this is more likely). UCF will probably end up 8-4. All of them are going bowling. You have to admit, having five bowl bound teams from Florida is pretty freaking cool.
• UCF continues its roller coaster approach to football. O'Leary's records thus far (going backwards): 8-4, 4-8, 10-4, 4-8, 8-5, 0-11. Total record at UCF is 34-40. I want to be fair. O'Leary definitely earned the right to come back next year. They had a good season. Two of their losses were to Miami and Texas - no shame there. They knocked off a ranked team. The two losses to East Carolina and Southern Miss are maddening. But 8-4 doesn't deserve a firing at UCF. But, if next year is another 4-8, he needs to get up and get gone.
• The AFC South is a really interesting division right about now. They could really wreck things for the other teams hoping for a Wild Card. Indy has basically wrapped up the division, with a four game lead and six to play. But the Jaguars have somehow scratched to a 6-4 record, the Texans are a strong 5-5, and the Titans have won four in a row. Right now the Jags are tied for the wild card with Pittsburgh and Denver. It is entirely possible for the South to score both wild cards, especially if Indy takes December off.
• I don't ask for much. But I really want to see Indy vs. New Orleans in the Super Bowl.
• Forget all the other stuff, the really important race is for first draft pick. Right now it has been distilled down to a three team race between the Browns, Rams, and Bucs. All those other sucky teams keep winning games. They just aren't committed to the prize. Cleveland still has games against Cincy, San Diego, Pittsburgh, and Jax - along with Oakland and KC. So two winnable games for the Chiefs. The Rams have Arizona, Chicago, Tennessee, San Fran, Seattle, and Houston. Four of those will be fighting for playoff spots. They easily could lose all of those. Tampa has the worst shot, I think. The only sure loss is New Orleans. They also have Carolina, Atlanta twice, Jets, and Seattle. They easily could slip up and win a few of those.
• The Bowl Projections are starting to take shape. There are so many boring matchups. I don't know how it happens every year. Northwestern vs. Auburn. FSU vs. Kentucky. UGA vs. Iowa State. Nevada vs. East Carolina. Middle Tennessee State vs. UCF. Ugh.

SFL WEEK 11 RECAP

• Worst Coaching Decision of the Year. Bill Belichick and the Pats are off the hook for their blunder against the Colts. The Bloodthirsty Ferrets made that call look brilliant. He kept Big Ben and Ricky Williams on the bench last week. 66 Points, riding pine. The upgrade over who he started was over 40 points. Props have to go to Gator Greats, though. He had a very strong week. Gators have won two in a row and have worked their way back into the playoff hunt - just one game out of 4th place.
• Stickboy won his fifth in a row over the anemic Da Bus. That victory, combined to Ferrets' getting killed by his own receivers, enabled Stickman to reclaim first place. He even had an "off day" for him and had the biggest blowout of the week.
• Tally Noles and Monkey continued to be polar opposites. Noles won their third straight and moved into the all important 4th place. It has been a good run for Tally - from near the bottom to playoff contention in three weeks. Monkey, on the other hand, lost their fifth straight and dropped to 7th in the league. His plummet is kind of confusing. His player are consistent. But they just don't seem to ever put up that jaw-dropping game that so many other teams have benefitted from.
• Ugly Consequences and Bad Counsel played a very close game - just a two point victory for Ugly. It was a come from behind win, with his two Texans providing 35 points on Monday night. The loss was costly for Bad Counsel, who dropped out of the 4th playoff spot. This week he has to fight off the charging Gators, too.
• And in the battle for the bottom, it was just very apparent that Tampa Bay Rams wanted it more. Both teams had six players in double figures and one score over 20. But Rams was luckily able to field four players with 5 or fewer points also. The amazing thing about TB Rams' six game slide and claiming the bottom spot is that it was done without playing inactive players like Steelas. He usually plays a full roster, unlike Steeltown who puts up at least one guy in street clothes. That's commitment.

SFL WEEK 12 PREVIEW

• We have some pretty big matchups this week. The Gator Greats and Bad Counsel throwdown could kill the playoff chances for either team. A loss for Gators would put them 2 games back, basically eliminating them. A loss for Bad Counsel would drop them into 6th, losing on points to Gators. Ferrets has to get past the reeling Monkey. Stickboy and Ugly Consequences square off in a battle of probable playoff teams. And Tally Noles can solidify their hold on spot 4 with a victory over Steelas.
• Last week we looked at how team rosters would look come playoff time. (Did you notice Favre got benched late this past week to keep him healthy? It's already starting. And the Colts have a THREE GAME LEAD for home field advantage.) This week I wanted to look at schedules for the rest of the year.
• STICKBOY - Current record 9-2 - Remaining Opponent Records 16-17 ---- The opponent records don't reflect the hardness of the games left. He plays Ugly Consequences, who is still able to hang 200 points on anyone. Then he plays the charging defending champ Gators. And then his longtime, but reeling, nemesis Monkey.
• FERRETS - Current record 9-2 - Remaining Opponent Records 16-17 ---- Even though the remaining record is the same as Stickboy, Ferrets has a slightly easier road. True, he has to play two teams battling for a playoff spot (Noles and Counsel), but he also gets Monkey. And Noles and Counsel are two of the teams most at risk for end-of-year player benching.
• UGLY CONSEQUENCES - Current record 7-4 - Remaining Opponent Records 14-19 ---- After playing Stickboy, Ugly Consequences can rest his starters. He plays both cellar dwellers (Steelas and Tampa Bay Rams). His spot in the playoffs is all but assured.
• TALLY NOLES - Current record 6-5 - Remaining Opponent Records 16-17 ---- Noles' remaining record is also kind of deceiving. He plays Bloodthirsty Ferrets next week. But his other two opponents are Da Bus and Steelas. He is great shape to claim that last playoff spot, as long as his team keeps up the consistent play.
• BAD COUNSEL - Current record 6-5 - Remaining Opponent Records 18-15 ---- Bad Counsel is in a little bit of bad shape. He's the most in danger of player attrition at the end of the year. And he has one of the harder remaining records. First he plays a must-win game against Gator Greats. Then he travels to 2nd place to Ferrets. He finishes with Monkey. It won't be an easy ending.
• GATOR GREATS - Current record 5-6 - Remaining Opponent Records 17-16 ----- Gator Greats also has a rough road to the last playoff spot. He has the must-win with Bad Counsel. Then he has to play league leader Stickboy. He does get to finish with Tampa Bay Rams, though. At this point, every game is a must win for Gators. Two of those are going to be tough to secure.
• MONKEY - Current record 4-7 - Remaining Opponent Records 24-9 ----- Poor guy can't catch a break. He's lost five straight. He'll miss the playoffs for the first time ever in the SFL. And he has to finish against #2 Ferrets, #5 Counsel, and #1 Stickboy. The road to the playoffs go through Monkey. Or over him.
• DA BUS - Current record 4-7 - Remaining Opponent Records 11-22 ---- On the flip side, Da Bus gets the easiest record of them all. If he could have just pulled together a few more wins, then this could be his way to ice a playoff appearance. He gets both Tampa Bay Rams and Steelas, and then finishes with Tally Noles. The last game could be tough, with Noles trying to get a final spot in the playoffs, or easy, if all the Noles have already checked out.
• STEELAS - Current record 3-8 - Remaining Opponent Records 17-16 ---- Noles. Da Bus. Ugly Consequences. Not an easy road. But, does it really matter?
• TAMPA BAY RAMS - Current record 2-9 - Remaining Opponent Records 16-17 --- Da Bus, Ugly Consequences, Gator Greats. Even a 1-2 record should secure another last place finish.